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MD
09-07-2005, 02:08 AM
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.*The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

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IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

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IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

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IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

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* IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

IDIOTS - They Walk Among Us. :eek:

Kool
09-07-2005, 02:21 AM
Heh heh, I thought about that airport one myself last time I flew. http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/koolsmiley.gif

morea
09-07-2005, 02:10 PM
hoo boy... the gene pool needs some more chlorine.

greyghost
09-07-2005, 04:10 PM
I can add one. I just answered the phone - it was DirectTV asking if we wanted to make a new appointment for service. We had put it off yesterday when we realized the only way they could get us service would be to cement a pole in our front yard for the dish to sit on - how tacky! Plus it would cost more.

So I said: "No, we decided to forgo the service."

Her: "huh?"

Me: "we decided we don't want service."

The_Black_Knight
09-07-2005, 10:19 PM
Here's one that I've noticed happening lately:

People walking down the side of the road, causing problems with traffic as cars have to swerve around them, when they are walking just a few feet away from...

...the sidewalk.

Why?

Again, I ask, why?

MD
09-07-2005, 11:04 PM
Because the road is wider and it gives you some room to stretch out. I am a pedestrian therefore I have the right away. If you don't like it drive on the sidewalk, better yet petition Ford, Chevy, and Daimler Chrysler to develop the flying car we were promised.

If you haven't seen this before download it - from Kevin Smith (Director of Mallrats, Dogma, Clerks etc.) May not safe for work. http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/leno/flyingcar.html

The_Black_Knight
09-07-2005, 11:58 PM
If you haven't seen this before download it - from Kevin Smith (Director of Mallrats, Dogma, Clerks etc.) May not safe for work. http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/leno/flyingcar.html
Speaking of flying cars (and the lack thereof), are you familiar with the comedian Lewis Black? He had some pretty funny things to say about the fact that we don't have flying cars yet (sorry, couldn't find a quote or audio file for it).

Russian girl
09-09-2005, 11:29 AM
IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Now i know how i would answer this quesstion at the airport:)