Post up me harties, Yo-HO!

[Neballer]

Ye be warned you scurvy dogs, anyone that be caught talking like a land-lubber be walking the plank today! :D

[JaCkinbOx]

Arrr.

[Only Seen Here]

Do pirates still say "Shiver Me Timbers"?

[Mynock]

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR you kidding me?
I thought we still had a week left until the 19th, but ok.

[morea]

one more week, ye lubbers. :D

[Mynock]

Enough about pirates, how 'bout our Vikings Neballer? Ick, I bleed purple and I'm in need of some guaze.

[D-Zine]

I had to check my calander and make sure its not the 19th already!

Neballer - you fooler!

[Mynock]

Can we make it talk like a pirate week? I don't think I can fill my all my pirate needs in one day.

[Neballer]

arrr-oops. Yup, looks like I don't know how to read a calander. :D

Mynock I hear you my brother. What a way to start the season - should we win, or should we throw an interception instead? :mad:

[Mynock]

Always look on the bright side of life, the Packers got spanked too. Supposedly the best two offenses in the NFC North didn't even score a touchdown. My Packer friend came dropped something off at my house and we consoled each other. We agreed we would take out our sorrows on a game of Madden 2006. We might have the worst division in football. The only reason a team won was because they played another.
http://www.einhorn-film.at/filme_klm/life_of_brian_2.jpg

[Neballer]

arr, this time I be meaning what I say

[morea]

there ye are, me bucko! :D

[Neuro]

Avast! This be t' avatar, me laddies! Yar!!

[MD]

Arrrrr Neuro, that avatar has a hole tha size of a whale, she's a takin' on water and sinkin' fast.
My avatar be the greatest avatar of em' all!

[morea]

and a fine avatar she be. Yarr!

[D-Zine]

Yo ho ho and a bottle of....rum? :D

[DeleteYourself]

yo-ho-ho, me mateys!

[G-Man79]

Avast ye graphic lubbers! If ya dare, walk the plank to the Unofficial Lounge for yer free shot of Capt. Morgan's! Arrrr!

[morea]

whar be that dog Kool? Don't he be t' one organizin' this event? of course it be early on t' west coast, but this be important! :D

[Mynock]

My avatar be better then yaaarr's mate!

[morea]

Why did the pirate go on vacation?








He needed some arrr and arrrr! :p

[Mynock]

Ahoy and Avast! Ye Bilge Rats surrender your booty or you're be heading to davey jone's locker

[Mynock]

What be a pirate's favorite letter?

[morea]

Methinks that would be... ARRRRR!

[Mynock]

Yaaarrr right, you be no land lubber my beauty.

[morea]

Do ye know what be havin' eight arms an eight legs?

[Mynock]

A whale with four pirates in ye belly!

[morea]

eight pirates. :D

[Mynock]

That be a funny joke!

[Tyger]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

ahoy matey's!

[morea]

Aye. Tis a beauty!

Do ye know how much t' pirate paid for his peg leg an' hook?

[Mynock]

An arm and a leg, avast I be smart!

[morea]

tis true!

[Mynock]

Why didn't the pirate go to the movies?

[morea]

cause she was rated ARRR?

[Mynock]

Ye be right!

[morea]

'twouldn't be pirate day without this timeless classic:

A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants.

The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?”

“ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

[Mynock]

How does a pirate say "thank you" in Japanese?

[Drorain]

ARRR I Be Scrubbing the deck this morn, I will be back later....ARRRRR

[morea]

ye've got me scratchin' my head on that one.

[Mynock]

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrigato!

[morea]

don't ye forget to be gettin' yer pirate name for t'day, here (http://www.stupidstuff.org/main/piratename.htm).

I be "Crew-Killer Carson"

[Mynock]

What kind of socks do pirates wear?

[morea]

would that be arrrr-gyle? :p

[Mynock]

Aye!

[morea]

I be lovin' yer peg leg, by t' way.

[Mynock]

Used to be longer, but there was a fire on the deck!

[morea]

arrr! Blow me down, what a whale of a tale!

[MD]

What's a pirates favorite dipping sauce??

[Mynock]

Arrrrtichoke?

[MD]

No, TARRRRRTARRRRRRRR!!

[colonel5]

I be the Mad Mangler, but i will not let pirates run my life, i'll be back tomorrow... arrrr......

[MD]

What do you call a pirate pedophile??

[Mynock]

What be me favorite restaurant?

[Mynock]

A molestARRRR?

[MD]

Not bad mate but I was thinking of Arrrrrrrr Kelly.

[Tyger]

PIRATE RIDDLES


Q: What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.

Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye's literary theory are pirates especially fond?
A: ARRRchetype.

Q: Who's a pirate's favorite member of the creative team behind "32 Short Films About Glenn Gould"?
A: Don McKellARRR.

Q: Of all of Richard Harris's many achievements in the performing arts, which is a pirate's favorite?
A: "MacARRRthur PARRRk."

Q: What's a pirate's favorite alliance-creating diplomatic agreement from the Second World War?
A: The TripARRRtite Pact.

Q: Which ancient Greek lyric poet do pirates like the best?
A: PindARRR.

Q: If a pirate were to recite one of the Olympian odes by the aforementioned poet, which one would it be?
A: The XIth Nemean Ode, "To ARRRistagoras, the Prytanis of Tenedos, son of ARRRchesilaus."

Q: If that same pirate were then to recite a 20th-century poem about the nature of poetry, what would it be?
A: "ARRRs Poetica" by ARRRchibald MacLeish.

Q: What if he went on to recite a poem by Sir Walter Scott?
A: "LochinvARRR."

Q: Why does that pirate keep reciting poetry, anyway? Is he some sort of Nancy-boy?
A: Aye, 'tis a Nancy-boy he be. Arrr.

Q: Of the ghosts that appear to Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol," which do pirates prefer?
A: Jacob MARRRley.

Q: Can we replace that last one with something about Bob Marley, so we can have an additional gag about RastafARRRianism?
A: No.

Q: Whom did the pirate vote for in the Haitian election?
A: ARRRistide.

Q: Wait. Why did they let a pirate vote in the Haitian election?
A: Remember, the nation was taking its first halting steps toward democracy, and balloting procedures were rather chaotic. The pirate just slipped in somehow. Arrr.

Q: I don't buy it. Pirates care nothing for participating in the electoral process.
A: Look, can we finish this up soon? I'm having those phantom pains in my wooden leg.

Q: A phenomenon first described in the 17th century by which important contributor to the field of amputation surgery?
A: Oh, this is getting ridiculous.

Q: Just say it.
A: Ambroise PARRRé.

Q: You can go now.
A: Arrr. Nancy-boy.

[morea]

Long John Silver's? Tis been said that those lads celebrate TLAP Day with t' best of 'em.

[Mynock]

It be Arrrrrrby's!

[MD]

or arrrrrrbys

[morea]

though tis doubtful that Arrrrby's is offering sale prices on their meals in honor of this fine day. ;)

[Tyger]

PIRATE'S INSURANCE
After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker's compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent. In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg." The agent replied, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?" "Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand," said the pirate. "That's also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?" asked the agent. The pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!" "What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" said the agent. "It were the first day with me hook!"

[Tyger]

Question: What did Captain Hook die from?
Answer: Jock Itch.

You know ye are a pirate when...

...you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine.

...you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is: Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I´ll burn yer tent!


...you're planning to purchase a large cannon with the explanation: "who knows, maybe some day we go to Pennsic".

...you are not very interested in SCA rapier fencing cause "they've banned fleche and suicidefencing" and you dont really understand that crap bout "chivalry" either.

...you get thrown out of meetings cause you know too much about "slithering throats, ARRH!".


...the people at work starts to talk about you as the guy who puts jolly rogers on everything.

...people stand WAAY back when your household starts to pull out rapiers, sabres, cutlasses and daggers.

...you get really angry when the person next to you at the bancuette, who claims to be a pirate, doesnt know anything about "loading guns with rusty nails" and you challenge him to a cutlassduel, he turns up and then runs away cause you brought your real cutlass.

...your topic for the evening is smuggling, and your fellow sca-dians listens politely until you mention "fast motor boats" and starts complaining about how the price on silk has gone down.

[morea]

ironically, ye know what I be having for breakfast?

a cereal baaarrrrr

[Mynock]

What be my dog's name?

[morea]

Ro-varrrrr?

[morea]

blast these 80 x 80 avatars, ye can't see my cute little pointy teeth!

[Mynock]

He be named Patch!

[morea]

har har!

[Mynock]

What do you call a pirate with a college degree?

[morea]

overeducated? :D

[Mynock]

A lawyaar, funny on two levels, ARRRRRRRR!

[Mynock]

What be me favorite country?

[MD]

Arrrrgentina

[Mynock]

Ye be no land lubber for sure.

[MD]

What do you call a pirate who loves to paint?

[G-Man79]

An ARRRRtist!

[morea]

What about Aye- Arrr- land?

[G-Man79]

Where do pirates go to report a crime?

[Broacher]

I'm not sure why, but I'm suddenly seized by this urge to break into a chorus of that Sex Pistols hit, "Friggin' in the Riggin'".

Ah, but it's family hour...

[morea]

Well bugger me standing.. I haven't heard that song in many moons.
Arrr. :p

[G-Man79]

YARRR!! Happy 12K post Morea, ye cutthroat librarian! Yer quick with a link and a sword! Yarrr!

[morea]

They shore do add up, don't they barkeep? Thank ye for yer well wishes.

[DeleteYourself]

Yar, what device do pirates use for listening to music, there, ye swash-bucklers?

[Mynock]

What does a pirate and a pimp have in common?

[Mynock]

Is it an Arrrr.C.A.?

[DeleteYourself]

An Aye! Pod.

[Mynock]

or an Aye-POD?

[G-Man79]

Where do pirates go to report a crime?
Scotland yARRRd!

[Mynock]

That one was a stretch G-Man, I had nothing.

[G-Man79]

;) Aye that one was a fARRR reach!

[morea]

Not a good many o' ye can keep up with the quickness of the S.S. Albany!

[MD]

What is a pirate's favorite part of a woman's anatomy?

[Neballer]

boobies

Arrr, no pillaging or plundering for me today. Aye be catchin a wee-bit of arr & arr from home.

[MD]

correct!

[morea]

Yarr, methinks 't be a trick question!

[morea]

Do ye see that luvverly golden hoop I be adorned with? Do ye know what it cost for yon piercing?

[Mynock]

Some of yer booty?

[Mynock]

A buck an ear!

[morea]

yarrr, that's it!

[MD]

Yarrrr ye plundered the punchline of a joke I posted yesterday.

Heh... did you hear about the new pirate corn?
It's a buck an ear!

[Mynock]

Knock! Knock!

[G-Man79]

Not a good many o' ye can keep up with the quickness of the S.S. Albany!
Aye aye! Tis a swarthy lifestyle we lead here in the Cap City! Many a scallywag try to invade from the Hudson River so we must quick on our peg legs!

[MD]

Who's There.

[morea]

Arrr.... I be needin' to have a bit of a post-invasion lie down. Why be I so dog-tired after eatin' me lunch?"

[MD]

You should lace your sandwich with caffeine pills. Ye be buzzin' around the ship like a pirate without a peg leg.

[Mynock]

Knock! Knock! .... Knock! Knock! ... Knock! Knock!

[morea]

G-man, bring yer ship round and hitch me a lift. I want this place t' be facin' me long nines before t' day be out!

[morea]

Knock! Knock! .... Knock! Knock! ... Knock! Knock!

who be thar? who be thar? who be thar?

[Mynock]

A tap dancing pirate?

A midget pirate trying to reach the doorbell?

Which one is better?

[MD]

who be thar? who be thar? who be thar?
An impatient Mynock. Besides I already answered you - scroll up :D

[MD]

Midgets are funny.

[Mynock]

I saw that, and midgets are funny.

[morea]

err... a tap dancing pirate or a midget pirate trying to reach the doorbell which one is better WHO?

[Mynock]

Wants me favorite dessert?

[morea]

Arrrr-senic? :D

[Mynock]

Chips-Ahoy!

[Mynock]

What's me favorite tv talk show of all time?

[morea]

Arrr-senio?

[Mynock]

Yaarrrrrrrr right.

[Mynock]

What's my favorite tv news channel?

[morea]

new channel, ye say? Along the Spanish Main?

I reckon we can't be keepin' up wit' all t' old channels as i'tis!

[MD]

I was going to guess Jerry Springarrrrr.
Where is my midget joke?

[Mynock]

Sea N N

[Mynock]

Where is my midget joke?
You want another pirate midget joke? Let me see if I can come up with one, my matey.

[G-Man79]

I like watchin' swashbucklin flicks on StARRRz. Tis' a great movie channel!

[morea]

An' I bet yer favorite planet is... mARRRRs. ;)

[MD]

I modified a midget pirate joke fer ya mynock - gonna post it in CNSFW.
Here be tha link (http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=158708&postcount=1292)

[morea]

lol

[Mynock]

What do you call a hot female midget pirate with a lack of vitamin C?

[morea]

tis got to have somethin' t' do with scurvy...

[Mynock]

Little Curvy Scurvy She-Pirate tis be.

[Mynock]

What's me favorite magazine, even though I can't read?

[morea]

ye got me there, me bucko.

[Mynock]

Play-Matey, full of beauties!

[morea]

you don't read it for the ARR-ticles? :D

[Mynock]

What would ye buy if aints were eating my mighty Unsinkable Sally (ship's name)?

[Neuro]

Me thinks tis crew be on t' decks to long! Arr!

[Mynock]

Tis not gonna save yer ship Neuro, buy an ARRRRRdvark for the lousy ants.

[Mynock]

What did Cap'in Hook die from?

[jimintn]

cAAARRRR accident?

dust alAARRRRgies?

bled to death after sticking his hook in his eye?

bad rum?

mutiny?


(I had to have one post on TLAP day!)

[Mynock]

More painful than those: Jock Itch!

[jimintn]

lol!

that would do it!

[reuber1]

Yarghhh, had no time to dress up 'me avatarghh wit' an apearance worth this glorious of days, for the work from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. kept me from taking the journey with me matey's to Boobie Island! Arghh, I was lookin' forward to it to, methinks.

[morea]

here they are, in all their glory:

http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/7721/avatars4rk.gif

[Neuro]

Wow! Had some really great ones this year. The count down starts to next year!!!

[Mynock]

I spent like 20 minutes plus on mine,I'm going to keep it a little longer.

[snypa]

well shiver me timbers, i missed out on all of the fun this year. hold on, let me mark the day on iCal... sept 19th, right? ok. got it set for next year. if you dont see me here at all for awhile, bet your booty i'll be back on the 19th. arrrrrr!!!