tri-fold rought draft

[colonel5]

Hey everyone, this is the inside of a tri-fold flyer i've been working on... just a few days ago my boss pulled a bunch of the copy so you'll notice the awkward blank spots in the first link... the second link is one of my ideas, the boss wants it to flow in a circular motion like that.

Any feedback and critiques would be nice and also some other ideas to create that kind of circular flow...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y118/btipler/insidenoarrows.jpg
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y118/btipler/inside.jpg

[Mynock]

I don't like the arrows, but I'm a lover of whitespace. The rotating "paint splats" don't do it for me. I wouldn't rotate them at all if you do use them. If you look at the one next to Printing and Imaging it look like a little dude. He has a nose, head, collar.

[TheBluePanda]

I agree about the paint splats, I thought they were little people at first with big hair. The circle in the middle should have a solid border, rather than an ultra-stretched paint splat brush.

As for the arrows, I think they're a little too blatant and harsh, not to mention a bit deformed (rough draft, I know). One idea would be to make them faded, larger, and position them sorta behind the text.

[Satchel]

I thought it was a person as well... and then on the bottom one it looks like he's upside down. and I also would go without the arrows... looks good
S.

[chriscrooz]

lol... I'm on board with what has so far been stated, loose the aarows and allow the viewer to naturally be drawn in the clockwise direction. If that doesn't naturally happen. Find a way to use contrast to draw the viewer in that direction.

Also yes, those paint splats look very much like a head, maybe find another way to portray a splat so it doesn't make a silloette of something. Hope this all helps, BUT I do like your direction and what you're trying to communicate to the audience.

[Mynock]

Paint Splats? How dare you bring that gurnge work in here :P

[GreenThumb]

To add to that, how dare you bring Nick Lachey in your diplay pic

[colonel5]

To add to that, how dare you bring Nick Lachey in your diplay pic

well if you check the words right above it, i think you will understand

and as far as the paint splats thing, it was the boss' idea... for a business to business flyer i suggested soething a little cleaner looking

[GreenThumb]

I checked the words and still feel left out of the loop .

:( Play on words, Lachey lucky kinda deal?

[PersonasBinar]

I never knew Colonel was a boy band fan

[GreenThumb]

I never knew Colonel was a boy band fan

Like we can make fun of anyone's tastes--Im foreign and you're Canadian :P

[colonel5]

nick lachey is married to jessica simpson... and she has a few assets worth mentioning... hence, the lucky man or "i'm lucky"

[Mynock]

I thought there marriage was on the rocks.

[PersonasBinar]

I can see that.....them .....whatever..lol
Green do we taste different being foreign and Canadian? Am I maple flavoured?..COOL!!!

[LeeIs]

I'd like to add that the logo being in a rectangle throws me off. I think it should be in a circle just the like the bigger shape it's inclosed in.

[colonel5]

everyone says their marriage is hittin the skids, but they've been saying that forever...

I believe they can last... or something... ???

[PersonasBinar]

"special freinds?"

[matbiskit]

At first glance I thought it was David Duchovny.

(Hows that for a first post)

[colonel5]

does anyone remember that song by,,, crap i can't remember who it was... maybe natalie imbruglia???? "David Duchovny why don't you love me?"

anyone?

[Mynock]

Why don't you love me David Duchovny!
I know of the saying I didn't know it was a song.

[JaCkinbOx]

The trifold bugs the hell out of me. I can't put my finger on it, but I think it's too busy, too bright, and too corporate. I think the center design with the photos aren't saying anything productive.

All in all I feel like someone's trying to sell me something. Impertinently.

[Navian]

There are a few things that could be cleared up a bit to make it better. Get rid of those paint swirls, and the arrows. Was this done in Illustrator? If so, create a brush that looks like a narrow and tall triangle. Tuck the "heading" lines under the pictures, not on them. Align the left side and bottom paragraph text to a possible right justify instead of a broken left. Keep it wraping around the Main circle. On "Solutions" Swap the text below the headline, it doesn’t make sense to have a heading at the foot of a paragraph/statement.

I'd place the headings to the same alignment as the aligned paragraph text.
Maybe place a small rectangle the same length but very slim right under the heading and the heading-line just enough to make it look like a small bold underline, oh and color the rectangles the same color as the lines. Maybe turn the heading lines to a small dotted line. I agree with the logo in the center, make it circular, like the bigger circle.

These are the things I would do. I've done a portfolio page (for projects) when I was taking Industrial Design class. The circle was the main picture of the project (3d rendered) the rest where how the project came to be; the about, research, constraints, sketches, preliminaries, and final presentation.

You might make a 2nd circle to rotate when you apply the triangle brush to the stroke. Once applied rotate it to where you want the readers eyes to start, it will help the readers eyes follow around the circle, and in the direction you want them to view it. Maybe eliminate the orange boxes, and place the webpage address with the logo, or place it around the circle where the major part of the triangle brush starts (the base).

My 2 cents, I know its not worth much.

[saintsvol]

The David Duchovny song was by Bree Sharp. Gotta love Google! (and being bored at work.)

[chalsema]

I know almost all the words to that song. Yeah, I watched the X-Files mostly for David Duchovny.... :P