Thoughts for 2006

[morea]

It's ok to be inconsistent, but not all the time.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word "farm".

Smile. It makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Don't cry over spilt milk... it makes it salty for the cats.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A flaming duck is not a hat.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.

All jobs are easy to the person that doesn't have them.

Never check the depth of water with both feet.

Love your enemies. It really ticks them off.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

During the middle ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were just going down to the corner.

Scientists say one out of every four people is crazy. Check three friends, and if they are ok it's you.

[cjoe]

Sh*t happens. If you can't find someone to blame in the first 5 minutes, you won't. Get over it.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. My Father was going to write a joke thesis for his PHD based on this comment.

[vtwin_gary]

i'd kill for a nobel peace prize

hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now

the hardness of butter is proportional to the sofness of the bread

[morea]

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

[morea]

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

[morea]

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.

If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while? Come on, we're not going to hurt it.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

Is Edam the only cheese that's made backwards?

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

If life is hard, shouldn't we all be wearing helmets?

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

If you lived in the Dark Ages, and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" No. I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots.

Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.

If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.

[JPnyc]

My only thought so far in 2006 is.....................................I'm NEVER touching another drop of alcohol for as long as I live, and the way I feel right now, let's hope that's not very much longer :|

[Neballer]

uhhh, Pabst for breakfast - what the hell was I thinking. :sick:

[Chris79]

My thought...

Just because there's only half a bottle of scotch left, doesn't mean you should drink it.

[LeftBrain Artist]

BBC America played MP's Flying Circus all New Years Eve untill 4 am, so I caught some bits and pieces such as

"A murder is nothing but an extroverted suicide"

[Tyger]

Personally i think alot of people spend too much time bitching and complaining about there lives when the obvious joys become overlooked. In the last few weeks i've felt life to be different and more positive, but nothing in my life has changed....just my perspective.

I like feeling this way better....try it sometime.

[morea]

Cheers to optimism. Go Tyger!