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Vikia
01-27-2006, 06:10 PM
What's your favorite?
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

morea
01-27-2006, 06:18 PM
It's a toss up - my favorites are:

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

although I think reuber is going to use #40 on me before the day is out...

Eraser Nubbin
01-27-2006, 09:39 PM
Haha those are classic, I will have to remember some of those for the soccer field.
Telling a guy that I screwed his sister is getting kind of old ;)

Neuro
01-27-2006, 09:51 PM
Oh the number of times I have wanted to say the first one to my boss!! Oh I think I lost count. LOL!

morea
01-27-2006, 10:13 PM
the best comeback for any situation is, "oh yeah? Your mother!" because it leaves everyone so confused that it's normally a good way to end a conversation.

Of course, you shouldn't say it to the wrong person, or you may end up picking your teeth up off the floor.

Navian
01-27-2006, 10:17 PM
Yeah but Morea, saying "your mother" usualy ends up in more flings, more insults about mothers, or flying fists. If you can keep a level head and use those ^ comebacks, and the opposing person keeps resorting to the "your mother/sister/brother/father" insults, it shows you have more control than resorting to saying something that will cause someone to get really PO'd lol. I've seen it happen time and time again.

morea
01-27-2006, 10:26 PM
oh, I didn't realize. You see, I'm a test tube baby.

balou
01-27-2006, 10:28 PM
oh, I didn't realize. You see, I'm a test tube baby.

Wha? No bellybutton?

morea
01-27-2006, 10:29 PM
I had one tattooed on so I don't feel weird at the beach.

kerrysmagicshirt
01-27-2006, 10:30 PM
They are all great - Very funny stuff :)

Craig B
01-27-2006, 10:34 PM
I had one tattooed on so I don't feel weird at the beach.

Now that is QOTW material. Nice.

morea
01-27-2006, 10:41 PM
lol!

It was nice... a womb with a view!

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/4914/testtube5bl.gif

AlexNJ210
01-27-2006, 11:05 PM
"6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

I hereby dedicate /\ that quote to brother Rockem.

balou
01-27-2006, 11:13 PM
lol!

It was nice... a womb with a view!

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/4914/testtube5bl.gif


OMG! What is that poor kitten doing in that condom? :D

morea
01-27-2006, 11:14 PM
oh my!

cjoe
01-27-2006, 11:27 PM
I find a good old "Fcuk you!" is worth its weight in gold. You just have to scream this in someones face, then turn around and walk away.

EC
01-27-2006, 11:34 PM
or it's sister phrase, "shut the fcuk up."

Vikia
01-27-2006, 11:43 PM
or it's sister phrase, "shut the fcuk up."
Fcuk you very much!

morea
01-27-2006, 11:44 PM
Lmao!

cjoe
01-27-2006, 11:45 PM
yep, nothing replaces good old shock value

AlexNJ210
01-28-2006, 12:12 AM
i have a few i know, but are probably too scandelous for this forum(no bad language, just bad content) lol.

Vikia
01-28-2006, 12:18 AM
Although the always satisfying "fcuk you" works in a pinch, the more cerebral comebacks are always fun when you leave them scratching their head not sure if you have actually said something they should be offended by or not. Slightly over their head but dead on target, yep those are great!

cjoe
01-28-2006, 07:27 AM
i have a friend who is the master of that kind of insult. The key is speed... and not being too drunk so that you completely screw it up.

JPnyc
01-28-2006, 12:10 PM
2 of my faves. For men "I'm gonna take a shot here. Will Rogers never met you, did he?"
For women "By the way, how'd you get that house off you?"

MyST
01-28-2006, 04:49 PM
My favourite... number 16, because I'm sure some will actually take it as a compliment.

My girlfriend said a good one the other day...

I see you missed another good oportunity to not say anything.

Mario