morea
02-23-2006, 03:15 PM
Why did the principal fire the cross-eyed teacher?
Because he couldn't control his pupils.
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Did you hear about the farmer whose wife had left him?
He found out in a John Deere letter.
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After opening the first restaurant on the moon, Bob was disappointed to receive only 2 stars in the newspaper's restaurant review section.
"Great food, no atmosphere."
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Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
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My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday.
Bad Minton.
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A ham sandwich goes in a bar.
The bartender looks at him, shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
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Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic
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A farmer is milking his cow. As he is milking, a fly comes along and flies into the cows ear. A little bit later, the farmer notices the fly in the milk. The farmer looks up and says, "Hmph. In one ear, out the udder."
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
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What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
Because he couldn't control his pupils.
-----
Did you hear about the farmer whose wife had left him?
He found out in a John Deere letter.
-----
After opening the first restaurant on the moon, Bob was disappointed to receive only 2 stars in the newspaper's restaurant review section.
"Great food, no atmosphere."
-----
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
-----
My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday.
Bad Minton.
-----
A ham sandwich goes in a bar.
The bartender looks at him, shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
-----
Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
-----
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
-----
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic
-----
A farmer is milking his cow. As he is milking, a fly comes along and flies into the cows ear. A little bit later, the farmer notices the fly in the milk. The farmer looks up and says, "Hmph. In one ear, out the udder."
-----
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
-----
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.