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Kool
02-25-2006, 02:20 AM
By JOE MANDAK, Associated Press Writer

PITTSBURGH - A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.


The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account the woman later gave police.

The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said.

After news reports Friday, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and gave her account of what happened, Pero said.

The woman told police she was applying for a job and was required to take a drug test. She said the man had filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Pero said.

According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said — that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.

Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

The woman wasn't applying for a job at the convenience store, but Pero said he didn't know anything else about the job.

The chief said the woman planned to come to the police station for an interview. Police Friday night said they had no new information and said the chief would have to answer any further questions on Monday.

Pero wouldn't release the names of the man or woman. Charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said.

The clerk at the Giant Eagle Get Go! is "still visibly shaking," Pero said.

Giant Eagle, which owns the convenience store, said the microwave will be discarded.

ecsyle
02-25-2006, 03:42 AM
Hahaha. Wtf.

There are better ways to pass drug tests. One would be to not have done drugs before hand. The other might be to not have someone microwave a urine filled penis for you, and instead shoot yourself on the spot. Because obviously you are ****ing retarded, and shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Ahem. That is just my opinion of course.

Also, I do believe they make devices that are positioned on the body in such a way as to simulate a natural purging of bodily fluids while keeping the fluids at body temperature.

Neballer
02-25-2006, 07:25 AM
could have been worse, it could have been real and had nothing to do with a drug test.

http://gfx.dagbladet.no/kunnskap/2003/02/20/taper3.jpg

Neuro
02-25-2006, 01:55 PM
Wow! Not only did the clerk have to handle it but then has to try to explain it to the cops. How embarassing. Amazes me what people will do to try to pass a drug test. This is definitely a new one. Geeze!

morea
02-25-2006, 03:08 PM
I remember when I applied to work for a print shop years ago and they sent me for a drug test because it was "policy". I got to the test center and the nurse told me I needed to leave my hat with her. I looked at her like she had two heads and asked her why on earth she wanted my hat. She told me she needed it to make sure I wasn't hiding any urine under it. (eew!!!)

I thought she was crazy, but I guess I was just naive! :o

Vikia
02-25-2006, 04:09 PM
Can you see the little desperate gears turning in their heads while "cooking" up that plot?

Bwwaaaaaahhhhh

Vikia
02-25-2006, 04:12 PM
Sorry Neballer, you are confusing Amy Fisher with Lorene Bobbit. Bobbit was the one who cut off her husband's penis. Fisher shot her boyfriend's wife at the door.

Neballer
02-25-2006, 04:49 PM
oops. Good call viki.
I guess I'm a little rusty on my 80's crazy women trivia. :D

clairabelle
02-26-2006, 02:34 PM
how wierd! as if someone would do that!

Satchel
02-26-2006, 02:57 PM
I actually know quite a few people that have used other people urine to pass the drug test at my work. They dont watch you so you dont really need to store it in a fake penis or anything... but now they are wise to it and they do a mouth swab, there's no faking that test - and just as accurate!