New to print design and playing around

[Brian Farkas]

Hi everybody,
I've been doing web design for several years and have recently been trying to learn the basics of print design as well... So I've been playing around trying to learn QuarkXPress today and decided to design an ad just for fun... It's for a fake body spray company poking fun at the ads by Axe and Tag. Hope you like it :) Let me know what you think.

Brian

[G-Man79]

Funny. Good copy but the the image of the can definitely needs more work. The background is a little bland as well. Maybe go all Web 2.0 on that a$$ and make the can reflective.

[tZ]

AXE

That is the first thing that comes to mind when I look at this.

Try to think of something unique and contrasting of what is out there.

Lets put it this way… if I am a consumer in the store and I see this can next to axe or even tag which am I increasingly likly to pick up(assuming they both cost the same)? Most likly axe or something more popular becasue your just looks like copy.

What i would suggest is next time you approach something like this look at what is out there and do the exact opposite. That way your product will begin to stand out from the crowd(axe and tag) to form its own unique identity rather then relying on what is allready out there to drive its design.

Also, this says nothing about sex or getting laid. Yeah… its dark and I quess darkness can imply sex and whatnot but, you could really bein to play that out.

You could at least show me somebody who is happy they don't smell like shit or something. Make it funny… becasue that is what your branding approach is here. Its not slick its funny. So make your image "funny" or amusing.

[Brian Farkas]

Do you guys like this one a little better?
The can probably does need some work in order to make it look a little more different from axe/tag, but curious how you like this concept?

[typographics]

i have a lot of problems with this:

first, you are creating a fake product. it would be more beneficial to you, and your portfolio, to redesign an exsisting product/campaign. the advantages of such a decision far exceed that of simply creating a product from thin air. i understand that this may only be a practice run for you, but why not design something that you could possibly include in your portfolio? im sure your time is valuable, so simply making "funny" practice adverts doesnt seem like the best use of your time.

which brings me to my second problem; using "shit" in the copy. im not the foul language police, but using curse words will hit a lot of people the wrong way. this would obviously become a major problem if this was a real company. you dont want to go out of your way to offend anyone. you could easily reword that copy to say the same thing, but without the colorful language.

thirdly, the copy isnt effective. "but at least you wont spell like shit"?? well, i could rub a lot of things on my body to achieve those kinds of results. in no way, does that make me want to try the product. anything will smell better than shit, so exactly what are you trying to sell me on? i understand that you are being comical, and that you wrote the copy to poke fun at the "competition", but being funny isnt enough. it cant simply be funny for the sake of being funny. it has to be funny and communicate something positive. smelling better than shit isnt all that positive.

what makes the 'AXE' body spray so funny, and successful, is that they tell me that women will jump all over me if i use it. now, obviously thats not true, but its humorous and makes the point that the product smells really good. they do a great job of branding their product and making their campaigns memorable. your product, on the other hand, simply smells better than shit. when im making a decision at the store, what product do you think im going to choose?

just my 2 cents. again, i would focus on an exsisting company and rework their designs/campaign. i think you will find that more challenging, educational, and provide you with better results.

[tZ]

typographics wrote:
irdly, the copy isnt effective. "but at least you wont spell like shit"?? well, i could rub a lot of things on my body to achieve those kinds of results. in no way, does that make me want to try the product. anything will smell better than shit, so exactly what are you trying to sell me on?

Well when you say it like that,lol

I second all typographics comments.

[cj2a]

typographics nailed it...the problem with the headline is that in the mind of the target audience, getting laid=good and not getting laid=bad. They will go with the product that promises they will get laid every time. You need a brand promise that they will get laid, plus a pizza.