two more. last of it.

[cmichaud]

http://img74.imageshack.us/my.php?image=boyvs4.jpg

http://img358.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chalkgt2.jpg

[SharkFinStudios]

Can I ask why you only use one basic font throughout all of your designs? Using Helvetica or Arial for a design is something done in years past. Try a multitude of new fonts. Expand a great deal and you will see your designs take off.

www.dafont.com has some great ones.

[cmichaud]

ok. i will check out that site. just using simple font, easy to read. but i should research some font.

[SharkFinStudios]

Easy to read online for some, but studies show that a serif font for body copy is easier to read when there is a lot of text. We have a guy here who uses Arial for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G and it drives me crazy. My eyesight isn't what it used to be and when I try to read Arial or Helvetica my eyes are strained.

Try a font like Novarese. Or even Garamond.

I guess what I am getting at is this... think of your audience when creating these ads, not just what you think works for you, but for everyone.

You have a great start with the 4 ads, just tweak them a bit. ;)

[cmichaud]

thanks for the help. i am checking out the sites now. these are the first ad i have ever made so i am still learning lots.

[chris_bcn]

to be fair, Arial is a poor rip, but Helvetica is one of the finest fonts ever produced. Over used maybe, but for scalability and readibility it's hard to beat IMHO

[cmichaud]

i have been using veranda in my ads. will look at helvetica.

[*the girl* ryan]

first and foremost... open up the first image and look at the first line. let me write the script of what i saw

<clicks on link>
<closes pop-up>
<first line hits my eyes>
<blurts out> Oh MY GOD!
<reads> At age 5 they start rubbing off

maybe there is a better way to break that line up... i was so intrigued i didnt look for the rest of the sentance :D

[cmichaud]

yea. its the font aint it? i was stuck. uninspired.

[*the girl* ryan]

www.dafont.com

*enjoy*

[seamas]

yea. its the font aint it? i was stuck. uninspired.


I think what *the girl* ryan was hinting at was the "rubbing off" line is reading a bit like a dirty joke.

Always be concious of how the text is flowing - even though the paired lines are leaded very tightly, the indent is interupting their flow - and where that first line ends, it almost ends it's own line of thought (it works as a whole sentence).

I think that first sentence should be broken at a different word, or not at all.

("rubbing off" sounds a bit too close to either "beating off" or "rubbing one out" - neither of which is something most normal people would want associated with a 5 year old)

So aside from font choice, I'd look at leading, indents and line breaks.

[urstwile]

Could work better as "wiping your kisses off" instead. Don't know if the OP has any control over the copy.

[tZ]

hmm…

I'm not understanding what these are exactly for is the first promblem.

4-h???

From your body copy I get the idea that is for something that would allow one to spend more time with one's children or something???- I don't know.

So I would say to start make it more obvious as to what you are advertising. If your going to advertise something it is common practice to tell the viewer exactly what is being promoted.

What is being promoted here is an idea not a product- is that what 4-h is?- an idea rather then a consumable? Casue I'm lost as the viewer.

I read your copy and it leaves me thinking- now what?

So tell me what. Is this something to buy? an idea? what?- tell me!

Now composition.

Composition wise the first thing that comes to mind is what are these for? Are they flyers, posters, or what? I see your discritpion says posters but, they remind me more of flyers or something from the format and approach.

If these are posters you need to think about what posters are all about when creating your design. Posters are all about IMPACT. So with that new information do you think these designs have enough impact to get my attention as the viewer? Furthermore, do they contain enough interest to keep my attention after my initial reaction? After I am done reading doyou think I will want to know more or will just pass this on like any other ad?

These are all things you need to look at and address.

Therefor, firstly in my opinion there is not enough impact to gain my attention. Your focal point if any is the text. Which could work but, the text is very boring and mundane- nothing really interesting is happening. Its just plain old text holding no communicatal aspect beyond the obvious literal one.

I think your major promblem here is your idea needs to be refined more so you can find a better way to communicate it to be with more "punch" and impact. Cause that is what a poster is all about as I said before- impact. If there exist nothing interesting besides the ordinary then it just becomes some boring ad like any other.

So think about that.

Normally, I would offer up ideas as to how you could start to refine your idea into a more impactfull visually communication but, don't really get it myself at this point. I think on the second one you are closer then the first though. many times to create impact designers utilize impactfull images which relate to thier campain in some way shape or form. Normally this is done more so on an conceptual basis rather then a literal one to increase impact.

Allwasy think about impact when doing posters- impact is what makes a great poster. The more impact the more likly the person is going to come and read the copy accompaning.

Now typography wise I'd say good idea of keeping the font consistent between all your pieces- key in branding. Advertising and branding is all about containing a certain level of consistency between different piece(s) and having the font be just that was a good practice in logic. However, where you went wrong is the font itself. Helvetica is not bad or anuything but, quite boring. Maybe if you added a contrasting font of some kind it would highten interest in your pieces. remember- contrast creates interest. So without contrast design would appear repetitve and boring, but without repetition it would be ununified and unbalanced. So its allwasy important for work to contain just enough of both.

Another thing you could consider is re-thinking the font all together. Apparently this is for some type of teaching thing or something- correct? So maybe us a font that someone would associate with something to do with schooling. For instance, you use the chalkboard in one of your designs that is to my understanding carrying some type of idea but, the font associated is highly contrasting of what one would normally see on a chalkboard- why?

The only reason I could see doing this would be to carry an idea that revolves around that contrast- difference in realities. Difference of realities is where in real life-I as the viewer would expect to see normally chicken scratch on that board but, you have supplied something that totally alters that general- perception without it holding any communicational aspect. Since, your idea revolves around the chalkboard but, not the text on the chalk board being different from what I would precive- get the concept?

So instead of using a compuster created font why not actually write out all that stuff on the chalfboard? maybe at least write out the equation. This way I immedialty associate your ad with schooling or something educational since, the chalkboard is associated with education and the "font" is what I would expect to see. When you alter that your idea seems to become altering the font that I would normally see rather then telling me this is about schooling.

I know its a complicated thing to grasp but, hopefully you get the jist of it. When you alter my/the viewers reality your concept becomes that ammendment. So having a chalkboard with contrasting type I would normally expect alters your communication of schooling to something totally different- based on that alteration. In this case you have chossen to use a very mechanical and linear font. So alteration begins to contain a more so mechanical idea rather then one based on education. That is prombly hard to understand but, as I said before hopefully its helping some what.

So the solution here is an easy one- not alter my/the auiences reality. This way your concept will remian the literal one of the chalkboards association with schooling vs. the alterations association with something totally different of schooling- get the diea?

So now that I have tried to explain that hopefully you have a better understanding of altering ones reality vs. not- and what communciational aspects either can alter in the process.

Just so you understand this I'm going to state something some regular person might say if they were to "acess" your design.

" handwriting doesn't look like that on a chalkboard"

Thats true- right?- so by changing it you alter my reality and the concept becomes that alteration. In this instance, that is not what you want so that alteration is uneeded. So get a chalk board write out at least the equation and make it the focal point of your piece- easy solution. Then if you want combine it with helvetica becasue we have also added some contrast through the type- handwritten in combination with mechanical. Allready your on your way to creating a increasingly effective piece with a focal point and all.

Now your other piece I like the photo- not exactly getting what its meant to communciate but, I would quess- back turned meaning pulling away as they get older- correct? In any instance, that photograph seems to me the idea in your design. It holds all the comunicational assocations to the text. So make it the mlost important part. make it your focal point.Don't just put it at the side next to the text. tell me as the viewer it is important- LOOK HERE.

So the first idea that comes to mind here is making the image larger. Perhaps even large enough to fill the majority of the space. Then perhaps over lay the type and to create emphasis on the last line have that one not overlay the image or something. I'm not exactly sure what you could do here but, the important thing is making th image your inddeed focal point rather then how it is now- holding sam weight as the text maybe even less becasue of the amount of the text associated with the piece.

[distruktor]

looking at the ad you have posted in another thread and these two posters on here id say you need to work harder to give them a cohesive brand style. At the moment apart from the logo they could all be for different companies.

think about things like corporate colours, font usage, typography styles, set them an image style, keep the logo in the same place. Brand consistency is the phrase of the day ;)


dis

[Samakimoto Graphics]

I got that feeling too; that there is no direct relationship of the image to the message being relayed.

I agree with the other pointers on the use of font. The size of the text/font also seems to be fighting for elbow room on the space. You need breathing space.

[cmichaud]

hala freakin looya. now thats what i am talking about. that was a heck of a post. thanks for taking the time.
so these arent posters. they are more 4x5 mag ads. but either way i think your comments could still apply. As for what 4-H is, i am not trying to tell you that. You got what i wanted to tell you. That with 4-H you coudl spend time with your kid, right? And that 4-H has something to do with education. Right? Thats all i really want you to bring away. Maybe thats a bit under achieving. I havent decided yet. If anything i am working more on developing the brand of 4-H, than i am an understanding of the technical aspects of it. In short, it is a youth development organization that uses a club format to lead kids in projects that have dual effects--teaching them and also equipping them will "life skills". The fact that you dont know what 4-H is....considering it is an every state (wait, you might not be american)....either way, most people dont know what it is. What it does. So i guess the ad with the boy is more an advertisement that we can solve a problem (that being not spending enough time with your kids). So i present the problem (i.e the text), but a visual they connect with, and offer up the 4-H clover and name as a solution. What your not seeing in the ad is probably the type script at the bottom saying 'brevard county 4-h is.....yada yada). The education ad would go in a completly different place then the first one. Probably in publications for home school parents. Its purpose is to convey the idea that we have informational expertise uncomparable to other sources they could turn to. I agree with you on the font. I wanted chalk. Badly. But i am so brand spankin new to this, i didnt have font. And didnt think of takin my own pic. But yes, the equation should be in chalk.
Finally, all are correct in saying the attachment of these adds to each other is not very good. These are proofs for the 4-H team to look at. Some will be run, some wont. I DO actually have a marketing plan. Am i following it right now, not so much, i was mostly just flowing when i made these.

your thoughts. did you look at the other two. the speech one and the gentogen one??

thanks again.