Promotional flyer: critique please

[jmilin5931]

I needed to design a postcard size handout at a wine tasting event benifiting a child care service. When people place an order at winestuff.com (the event sponsor) 10% of their order is donated to Lehigh Valley Child Care.

The wine glass is the only High Res. Image they gave me to use. And they wanted their purple color used in the design. (The rest of the colors I can change if I need to.)

I'm not too sure about this design, It dosent look that good to me, and I'm working alone on it, So I need some feedback. The first image is the back, and the second image is the front of it. On the front, they wanted both logos somewhere on there.

Thanks!

[Thorn_9]

It seems odd to me that a wine company would donate to a child care center, but hey, whatever sells bottles...:)

Seriously though, I would get an elegant photo of thier wine (take one yourself), and play up a concept. Like...the benefits of wine (antioxidants (sp?) and how it even helps your children, just a thought, but it would allow you to reveal info at your leisure, saving the delivery to be aesthetically appealing on the front, and leaving the nuts and bolts of the card, the point and story, on the back.

Seeing wine and a childrens care logo together is not right.

Good luck!

[SnowAngel]

^^Good point. But I guess being a childrens charity, they get support where they can.
*scratches head*


shoo. Good Luck!

[MD]

Is there a reason that the piece is 2 sided? It seems that this could be easily condensed onto 1 side, removing the need to make everything overpowering to fill up the space. Another thing that really bothers me is the white background on the wine glass, it should be purple showing through.

[jmilin5931]

They just want it with the front and back. They just tell me what they want on it and I have to make it look good somehow. I can make the wine glass more transparent. But the 2 logos have to stay together. I think its a funny concept too, but thats just what they want. I just have to figure out a way to make the layout nice looking along the way.

[mac.FINN]

What about a vertical layout?

I could definately see the front (as you have it) as a vertical layout, and it could add more movement to the balloon (so it actually looks like it's soaring).

[Thorn_9]

Then I would do what they want on one, and do one the way you feel is right. Show them thiers, then deliver yours to them. Blow them away with concept and execution and educate them on design while selling them yours!

I am a firm believer on educating the client.

[jmilin5931]

ok heres a redesign of the back. I took out the wine glass, because that white background wasnt working. Let me know if u think this looks any better. Thanks

[beseech wanton]

what about ghosting the wine glass in the background and adding some vines, maybe grapes ghosted as well. I think it looks a little to plain as is right now...just a thought...tough concept wine + children??

keep at it...it will turn out nice

[Thorn_9]

It does look better, though, I would sketch out 5 or so variation on paper before continuing...you never know what a good old pencil will give up

[jmilin5931]

here it is with the baloon ghosted in the background. I dont want to use the wine glass and have the kids flying out of a wine glass in a hot air baloon all happy and smiling lol.

[Thorn_9]

hahaha good point. looks good. the ghosted image ads texture and depth. Perhaps try an initial cap, large Y. I mention it because the lines of copy under the baloon are out of alignment. Usually the bottom line in a group of copy is shorter than the lines it follows, or even with them.

Play up the 10% donation type as well, your client will appreciate it.

[The Gloves of Death]

I agree about making the "front" vertical.

I think it would flow better that way.. seems too wide now for how little information is there.

I also agree with thorn about making the 10% donation part bigger.. it's probably a big deal to the website ;)

[urstwile]

I'm not really digging the drop shadow on the right side of the left panel. It seems out place, with everything else being so two-dimensional.

[CamarotaDesign]

Im liking the newest version most, but something about it is off to me. Maybe making the logo of the ballooon (not the ghost) bigger. And then turning in that banner of "your contributions...yada yada" make it a wrapped banner with curves in it so it has a little bit of 3D. Maybe it would help..?

Also, I think making the wine company's label very small, so as to take away as much alcoholism as possible would be a good idea.

Also, you text on the right hand side (10% off wine stuff etc) might look better in justified text.

FWIW: I like your natural style of design, and I think this design is a little thrown together and rushed, so your true style isnt shining through yet. Keep bangin' away at it and it I'm sure it will look great.

[jmilin5931]

Thanks for the comments.

[Samakimoto Graphics]

The taxt on the right needs kerning adjustment or a rethink of the font.

I would ghost the corkscrew in the winstuff logo as you've done with the balloon.

I like this last concept best.