Holy crap, my drawing skills suck and I need PRACTICE

[wienerdog]

So I drew a cartoon strip to use with a postcard about companies living up to their brand promise as a way of practicing with my new tablet. Wow, it took me 4.5-5 hours, and this is what I came up with. I haven't even done the lettering yet. Why I thought not practicing drawing cartoon style for a couple years wouldn't crush my skills is absurd. My ambition is clearly better than my execution. My line work feels really crappy, and my characters feel flat. It looks like a rough draft done by someone that's in high school art class, and not a 28 year-old design pro. I think it's time I looked for tutorials on the basics, line variation mostly. :mad:

The first panel needs to be cropped better, and I think moved to the 2nd panel. I think scrapping the second panel and creating a new first panel showing the guy on the couch reading the brochure would make more sense.

[D-Frag]

dude you still draw a 100% better then I do, I wouldn't worry to much about it. plus you have your own style which is good in comic art. just keep practicing

[kerrysmagicshirt]

hey ease up on yourself a little - you drew that straight onto the tablet did you?

if so then try it with a pen and pencil first - i tend to keep my lines quite loose and don't use and long dark lines to begin with till you get what you're after - then you can neaten things up when you go over in ink later.

[wienerdog]

hey ease up on yourself a little - you drew that straight onto the tablet did you?

if so then try it with a pen and pencil first - i tend to keep my lines quite loose and don't use and long dark lines to begin with till you get what you're after - then you can neaten things up when you go over in ink later.

That's the shame of it. I sketched it out in a medium gray brush on the tablet in Photoshop 7 as a pencil sketch, then added the inks in a 2nd layer on top. I really need practice, and I've never been good with inks. Ever.

[Logo-Mechanix]

I still prefer old school (pen/pencil and some illustration board with a little bit of a tooth to it) but thats just me. I feel sometimes computer generated illustration can be a little stale.

[Broacher]

I'd like to see the original (un-processed) sketch. Truthfully, you've sucked the life out of whatever was there when you ran it through Pshop. I'm not sure why everyone's striving for this whole 'crisp and clean' look comic strip style. Maybe you could zig instead of zag and get looser on paper by not having to worry about the translation. Just use Pshop as a touchup tool, not a translator.

[MPI]

It's a good effort, and a good first draft. But some thoughts:

The first two panels spend too much space on the desk, also the gray is too dominant. Your punchline is getting lost in detail that doesn't speak directly to your message - bed, lamp, wall - not necessary. All panels don't need to be the same size. And don't underestimate the potential of the 'thought cloud' - it's classic.

You might do it like this
Panel 1: Guy leaves a tiny background travel agent office with dreams of a beautiful scene.
Panel 2: Guy enters a hotel room with big window showing dystopian industrial landscape, his pretty little cloud burst.

Or maybe:
1. tiny office scene
2. guy outside room, door on the right with big thought cloud to the left
3. guy just inside room with view to the right


But however you approach the staging, blocking out the stars first, then the supporting characters after really helps. And in this case, I think your stars are the Dream, and the View.

[Derfie]

I don't think your drawings are too bad, I just think your message isn't coming through as well as it could. I think you need to emphasis travel more, maybe in the first frame he gets the brochure at the desk, and the next frame he's on a plane, or wearing a hawiian T-shirt with a camera around his neck (I think it's okay to be Cliche for a comic). Nothing hits home more than going on vacation and being dissapointed by your room. In the first frame you could have the same scenic picture on the wall to emphasize the travel agency/resort aspect. Then it would tie into the hotel room with the same picture on the wall next to the terrible view.

Also like the "Thought clouds" mentioned by MPI. Anyway these are just my thoughts. Hope this helps!

[wienerdog]

I don't think your drawings are too bad, I just think your message isn't coming through as well as it could. I think you need to emphasis travel more, maybe in the first frame he gets the brochure at the desk, and the next frame he's on a plane, or wearing a hawiian T-shirt with a camera around his neck (I think it's okay to be Cliche for a comic). Nothing hits home more than going on vacation and being dissapointed by your room. In the first frame you could have the same scenic picture on the wall to emphasize the travel agency/resort aspect. Then it would tie into the hotel room with the same picture on the wall next to the terrible view.

Also like the "Thought clouds" mentioned by MPI. Anyway these are just my thoughts. Hope this helps!

I think having the first panel with the guy on the couch with a brochure in his hand featuring the same image on the cover as the painting in the last panel would work too. Thanks for your feedback. It's been a big help.

[Riya]

Maybe a sign on the desk just to drive the point home: "Acme Travel" or something similair. My first thought when I was looking at it was he was renting an apartment.

[Broacher]

There's nothing wrong with drawing in the flat 'Egyptian' style-- you just need to work with the neg space better. There's no real flow and some noise traps. Lose the abstract picture behind the woman (too distracting). Likewise in the next panel, the window scene and the wall painting. Or greatly simplify them. They have too much going on.

[Seapony]

I wouldn't mind seeing the hand drawings as well. As Bob (I believe) said, it's probably a better direction than going for the uber clean PS'ed route. Any personality or character the style might've had has been stripped (no pun intended).

:)

[Samakimoto Graphics]

There's nothing wrong with drawing in the flat 'Egyptian' style--

It's called "frontal-profile" :).
http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/artoverview.htm

I am curious to see the hand drawings too.

[amiart]

Cartooning is the hardest thing for me to do.. I can do realism pretty decently not perfect.. my perspective is off a little bit often.. humm maybe that is a reflection of my realitiy.. LOL.. Anyways.. I think its not too bad.. I was given a coloring book project on a Wednesday afternoon around 3 and was expected to have the entire 15 page coloring book done for the customer by friday afternoon along with a website template and about 15 other projects.. I've been whining about this for quite a while now.. sorry now about you... I think you have a lot of potiential .. esp considering this being your first try.. I'd say that after 10 more you will have it down pretty well.. Just remember you have talent to draw and can do it.. think of the computer as just another pen,pencil or paintbrush etc...

[Broacher]

Cartooning is a very broad term. There are so many styles that vary from the basic 'Dilbert' contours, to stuff that borders on fine illustration. And then stuff like Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes -- which is as close as it comes to pure genius.

[wienerdog]

I've revised my strip, and I think it looks a lot better than the original. I can't ink with a Photoshop brush at all. I found it much easier to draw paths and stroke them with a brush instead. I still can't draw cartoon hands worth a damn. I'm clearly reliant on photo reference to draw, but when I do use them, it's soooo much better.

Which one works better? I created the top one first, but my supervisor thought a shot of a plane made more sense in panel 2.

http://evanwienerdesign.com/comic-strip2.gif

http://evanwienerdesign.com/comic-strip3.gif

[Crimson]

dude that is much better. Keep working at it.

[Derfie]

It looks much better. I agree with your boss, the plane shot really conveys the sense of travel. I might make it clearer that he is dropping the brochure in the last frame, the brochure gets cut off at the bottom of the frame. The cartoon definitely gets your point across well.

[Ned]

Yeah, I like that plane one better. I see you put a real picture in the picture frame and on the brochure. Perhaps you could follow that theme in the second panel as well, by replacing one of the elements (ie, the plane or the sun) with a photographic image.

[Broacher]

The little change from 'Hotel Oasis' to 'Ocean Views'-- stuff like that really adds to the understanding and delivery of the humour. I still think panel three is too complicated by half (or more). What about a 'POV' shot of a hand opening a hotel room door and 'seeing' the true 'view' as framed by the room's window? That way you'd only need to see the end of the bed, a lamp, a table-- and you still get the message. Plus, by sharing the reader's viewpoint with the character, you connect just a little bit more with the reader.