Love hurts

[DeleteYourself]

Having some girlfriend woes, here guys. I need some moral support.

My girlfriend decided that she needs to take a break from seeing me for a little while. We were talking today, and she said that when she gets her AA she'll probably want to move away from South Florida, b/c she doesn't like it here. I told her that i'm not willing to move because of my job and Dafenix Foundation.

She then says that since she cares about me way too much its just easier to cope with crap now and take some time to cool her feelings off for me since we probably won't stay together long distance when she moves (Neither of us want a long-distance relationship. We've both been there before and have bad experiences). I don't think she cares about me more than I care about her, or anything, but i'm just not willing to plan my life around a 2 1/2 month relationship. It's pretty crazy that we've been together less than 3 months and I already know I love her.

Anyway, it's really hard to deal with. i feel like i did something wrong, even though i know i didn't. We're not breaking up, she's just taking a break. I don't think this will last...we need to see earch other, but sill, i'm in pain right now. Mostly b/c the part of the day I look forward to the most is when I get to curl up with her, and she's not here right now. /emoticons/cry.gif

To quote the great David Dondero:

God it's been a long time, since I've seen my girlfriend,
I don't own her, but I'd surely love to see her.
I don't own my girlfriend, but I can do my best to set her free,
And maybe she can do the same for me.

Maybe seperation is gonna make it stronger,
And maybe separation's, gonna make it more for sure,
And maybe seperation is gonna prove that we were wrong,
And all this separation will make it, a little bit stronger, yeah, stronger.

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Post Edited (DeleteYourself) : 9/5/2004 1:23:49 AM GMT

[Magnus]

Hey Delete...when I met my g/f, we were together for a month and a half. Then she went to New Zealand/Austrailai for FIVE MONTHS. She came back and it was awesome...we waited for each other..but in that time, it was super hard.

Now, what you're going through is different, however, if you've fallen for this girl after 2 months, maybe you should ask yourself if finding happiness with someone is more important than a job? Just don't make a decision that you find yourself saying 'What if' 5 years down ther road, that could haunt you for the rest of your life. Not to say staying with her or staying home and going your seperate ways is the answer. Only time will tell what is right for you guys.

See, my g/f, while she's ok with where I live, it's not her home...her home is this cool place about 3.5 hours from here called Wolfe Island. I know she eventually wants to settle there; it's where all her family is. My family is here, as are my friends....they are certainly tough choices.

Things will work out...if it's love and meant to be, then it will find a way.

To give you a quote from a song that meant something to me when stacey was gone..it's Patience by Guns and Roses:

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl I think about you ev'ry day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow and
We come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
Patience

I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love there's
One more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it
Aah, never break it
'Cause I can't take it

"...you should show only one design because that is what your paied to do....your not paied to let the client himself pick out which designs he likes best..."

- Zartan the Wise

[DivineDesign]

Hey Delete-

Wow. Love really does hurt. And I will agree that long distance relationships really really suck.

Delete, my boyfriend has been outta town since Sunday...Comes home friday. And it's driving me crazy not to see him. Its the longest we have ever been away from each other since we have been together. But, I have to remember that come September, I will have to go about 9 weeks without seeing him, or even talking to him, b/c he is leaving for the Navy.

You have only been dating for 2 months, and you know you love her? I hate to say it, but if you really do love her, and are in love with her, stay with her. Try to make it work if you can. My boyfriend and I knew after 1 month we loved each other. And, as of now (9 months later) we know that we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives. Him joining the navy was a shock. But, I am willing to move aroudn with him when I have to, no matter what b/c I love him, and i know when he is out and able too, he will move with me. So, if you love her, talk to her abotu it, hang in there, and maybe somethign will happen. Love is a sacrifice. Mag went through it, I will go through it, and you might go through it, but in the end, its 110% totally worth it. And you won't regret it. Good luck :) If you ever want to talk, PM me, and I'm sure Mag will help out too. ;)

And here are me and my bf's song lyrics:

311-Love Song

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

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[D-Zine]

I have no lyrics for ya Delete...sorry! Other than wishing you good luck! It's a tough situation and time really is the only way to tell. *sigh* I am in the thinking that 'love stinks' right now, but that's just because I have been taken through the sh!tter about 2 months ago and it cut deep...still cutting actually. I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything works out for you! :o)

Boobie Island or Bust!

[ylaenna]

I agree with Magnus — if it's meant to be, it will find a way. Even if she moves away and you don't move with her, if you guys were really meant to be together, youwill find yourselves together again down the road.Maybe now just isn't the right time.

Whatever you do, you gotta take care of yourself before anything. I personally don't thinktwo months is enough time to know someone enough to pick up and move with them, unless you're ready for a change and are planning to move anyway. At two months, if you decide to move with her, please please please don't make it be 100% because of her. It wouldn't be fair to yourself because if it doesn't work out, you've left behind your life for a relationship that didn't work. And it wouldn't be fair to her because if things get crappy, you may end up resenting her for it. If you decide to move, make sure you're doing it for you.

I don't have song lyrics, but I know a guy you can call. Tom Leykis at 1-800-5-800-TOM. hehe

THINGS GO WELL AH MAHT BE SHOWIN HER MAH OH FACE...

[DeleteYourself]

Aww, thanks for the response, guys...I'm with you on the 'you gotta take care of yourself before anything' philosophy, ylaenna, but I hear what the rest of you are saying with the 'if it's love it will find a way to work.' Only time will tell if it really is love, I guess. She's not going to be done with school for a good 6 months, so we have time to figure out what we're going to do. The hard part is that she's a little older, and really concerned with finding a husband and starting a family, so she's thinking about this stuff earlier than I anticipated. I feel like if I'm not ready, I'm wasting her time. I'm just scared because it's all happening so quickly and I already feel like I've known this girl my whole life. Crazy.

DD, that's amazingly funny that you quoted Love Song! That's a cover of The Cure's 'LoveSong,' and for all intents and purposes, that's OUR song!!! I'm not crapting you!! My girl is a HUGE Cure fan. I just took her to see them 2 weeks ago.

And Mag, good call on 'Patience,' I pancakeing adore that song!

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[BuckarooB]

Bummer!

Get Stoned, Listen to French Love Songs and Log in with us in the Morning...

Wish some of us were there with you to watch Sci-Fi or Action Adventure Flicks and throw beer bottles at the TV when the villan is on screen.

Works most of the time... Mostly.

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[defjoe]

Not to sound mean... but 2 1/2 months is CRAP. You barely know each other. I know it's harash but i'm just giving it to you straight up. now is the time to realize that your life is going to take you in different paths... not a year down the road. It sounds civil and she sounds committed to what she wanst to do. I say let her go and move on with your life. Your young and many more chickies out there.

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'

[Debz]

I have to say i agree with joe.

You've established that she wants to move away from southern fla and get married. You want to stay in southern fla because of your jobs n such. You guys want 2 diff things. If you hold onto eachother untill she has to leave.. then you guys are only going to hurt yourselves even more. Because spending time apart and seeing eachother occasionally is going to make you guys appriciate eachother more. Your gonna hurt EVERYDAY untill that final day.. :(

Before i got with my current bf i was looking at schools in California. When i got with him i said do u ever wanna move to cali (or anywhere other then philly) and he said no.. :(

So i decieded ok guess im stuck here till we break up, if we do. lol.

I just think holding onto something that you know isnt going to work is what you want to do. understandable.. but in the end your going to hurt a lot and its gonna make you resent her. thats not good. :(

y can i make stuff for other ppl but when it comez to a sig my mind drawz a blank.. :(

[Magnus]

'Not to sound mean... but 2 1/2 months is CRAP'

Hahahahaha...defjoe, that's funny $hit man.

"...you should show only one design because that is what your paied to do....your not paied to let the client himself pick out which designs he likes best..."

- Zartan the Wise

[DeleteYourself]

defjoe said...
You barely know each other.

While this is definately not true, I see your point. She's had a REALLY rough life up until now, and I'm not being overdramatic here. I think I'm the first guy that really accepted her for who she is and looked past all the crap she's been through. That's partly why there's such an attachment there. I'm the frist person that's made her happy in a LONG time.

Debz said...
I just think holding onto something that you know isnt going to work is what you want to do. understandable.. but in the end your going to hurt a lot and its gonna make you resent her. thats not good. :(

This is what I'm afraid of.

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[Debz]

DY:

I think what you should ask her is.. What brought this on now..

If you guys really love eachother why does she have to leave? This is where your life is.

I hate to say it but i think theres some underlying thing that she isnt saying because i know if i loved someone and i could make the decision to stay and be with them, or leave.... id stay.

I am sry if what i say hurts ya :( i just dont want to see u go thru mths of pain like i was telling you could happen.

y can i make stuff for other ppl but when it comez to a sig my mind drawz a blank.. :(

[Drawing a Blank]

I think defjoe is right when he says that now is the time to realize your lives might be taking differrent paths. Somebody once told me that timing is very important when it comes to relationships and I know it to be true. Sounds like you may want different things from life and it sucks to find that out now, but it would be far worse to find out 2 years from now.
I feel for you and hope things work out for you and your girlfriend.

"Oooh Benson; you are so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence."

[defjoe]

there are always exceptions to the rules of course (take Magnus and his girl). but like Debz said...the fact that she is set on moving away and neither you or her wants to give...that to me says it all. I'm not saying this is a bad thing.. .your just two people that want different things in life and unfortunetly they don't mesh.

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'

[DeleteYourself]

Word.

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[Magnus]

Yeah, ditto on timing. Everything in life comes down to timing. I'd just have a heart-to-heart with her and find out what the deal is, and find out what's best for both of you.

"...you should show only one design because that is what your paied to do....your not paied to let the client himself pick out which designs he likes best..."

- Zartan the Wise

[Silence04]

thats sucks man....i really feel for ya, delete...
just remember tommorrow will always be a brighter day. and if its not tommorrow, it will be the day after.. ;) this pain your feeling will only make you stronger!!!

and hey, at least there still could be a future for you guys! (at least you didn't find out shes actually a stripper and then leave town with your bestfriend/roomate.. )

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[Debz]

and remember we all r here for ya!! Hit me up on AIM if u need to talk at all. Im not on much usually at home at nite.

y can i make stuff for other ppl but when it comez to a sig my mind drawz a blank.. :(

[DeleteYourself]

Awesome, thanks for the support guys!

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[Silence04]

AWESOME sig btw... looks really cool!!

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[DeleteYourself]

Thanks, yo! i got bored of the old one. How do you get your sig to vary depending on the background of the thread? i've always wondered...

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[dakels]

I don’t necessarily agree with joe about not knowing each other in a short time. While I agree there are important things you may not yet know, a lot of things are spoken and felt in a short period of time. You cannot dismiss intense feelings with the excuse of time or history. I feel it only takes a good honest moment to really look into someone's heart. It takes a long time to figure out all the other crap we cover it with to protect ourselves. It is that honesty that endears us to another. Not all the other fluff. The fluff only complicates that vision.

You will always be learning new things no matter how long the relationship is. Some things you like, some you don't, but little details is not what love is about in my opinion. Being able to be with someone and loving them are 2 different things to me.
A lot of people are together without love, and a lot of people are in love without being together.

Whether it's a lack of interest, fear, or confusion, I feel the bottom line is if she wants to be with you, she will work something out. No matter how far the distance, or interval of time, she will try to hold on if she truly wants to.

You're not alone in feeling this way or being in this position. Love's like a fire and it burns like hell to keep it bottled up inside. Personally, I have never felt that I am searching for love. I am searching for someone to give it too.


Shiver - Coldplay

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention, do you.
I know you don’t listen to me.
’cause you say you see straight through me, don’t you.

On and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I’ll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I’ll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.

Did you want me to change?
Well I change for good.
And I want you to know.
That you’ll always get your way,
I wanted to say,

Don’t you shiver? shiver, shiver

I’ll always be waiting for you,
So you know how much I need ya,
But you never even see me, do you?

And this is my final chance of getting you.

On and on from the moment I wake....
Did you want me to change? ...

Sing it loud and clear.
I’ll always be waiting for you. (x3)
Yeah I’ll always be waiting for you.
And it’s you I see, but you don’t see me.
And it’s you I hear, so loud and clear.
I sing it loud and clear.
And I’ll always be waiting for you,.
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you,
But you never even seen me.

Boobie Island and Busty!

[DeleteYourself]

dakels said...
I feel it only takes a good honest moment to really look into someone's heart.

You're totally right there, dakels. I'm an excelent judge of character. If I get any iffy vibes of a girl, I immediately limit how far the relationship can go. There's something to be be said for first impressions and how you feel when you look into someone's eyes.

dakels said...
Personally, I have never felt that I am searching for love. I am searching for someone to give it too.

Goddamn, that's rad.

Thanks for the kind words, dakels.

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[Silence04]

DeleteYourself said...
...How do you get your sig to vary depending on the background of the thread?i justtook the 2 background colors that this forum uses on each post and used them as the background for my sig.... the top part of the sig is the gray and the bottom part is white.

the rounded corners are justthetransparent part of the gif... if you highlight the sig on a pc, its a lot easier to see... :)

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[DeleteYourself]

Ingenius. I thought it was some kind of randomizer code that swapped between two images. LOL.

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[Debz]

OMG i never even noticed that it looked diff depending on the BG.. i have to say silence.. u got skillz lol

y can i make stuff for other ppl but when it comez to a sig my mind drawz a blank.. :(

[D-Zine]

I agree that time is kinda irrelevant when it comes to love.

One of my best friends - her parents knew one another for only 6 WEEKS before they were married. They just knew! The only reason they aren't together still is bc he passed away. My mom and dad knew one another since the 7th grade. My dad asked my mom out numerious times and she always said no. Finally, their senior year of high school she said yes and 6 months later they were engaged. They of course were married 34 years and would still be together had my mom not passed away. I just think for some relationships it takes longer than for others to find out that person is 'the one'.

As for her 'taking a break'...I'm with Kool on that. I have never understood that action...I know it hurts like hell Delete but you have to look out for you like everyone else stated. Let her go and have her 'break' but don't spend the next 5 years waiting on her bc you will regret it.....trust me on this one. If she decides to part ways for whatever reason and things don't work out for her ....she may come running back and just expect you to be there, and you'll wanna be even if you are involved with someone else....and its a really bad feeling coming in second!

I know that if it were me, I wouldn't up and move away from someone I was in love with and I wouldn't take any sort of 'break'. I mean who needs a break from love? Real love anyways......I know I wouldn't. I just think its crappy.....sorry :o( Just be careful in whatever decisions you decide to make and keep us posted k :o)

Boobie Island or Bust!

[DeleteYourself]

Yeah, I'm not about to get up and move for her (just yet) and I wouldn't expect her to, either. We'll see what happens, The 'break' isn't going too well, anyway. Her transmission blew up yesterday on the way to work. She called me and we talked and because she was having such a bad day she decided she needed to see me. So who knows that means, but we'll definately have to sit down and have the 'is this going anywhere? do we care that we may go seperate ways eventually?' conversation. Ugh. I'd rather just not even think about it right now.

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