Click to See Complete Forum and Search --> : Corporate speak I'm growing tired of hearing
wienerdog
03-14-2007, 05:11 PM
Many of these are techy speak done by people who don't know how to organize their web browser bookmarks.
I don't know why they use these terms instead of speaking plainly. Is it to sound cute or sound like they're trendy?
"We need to do a download." - referring to having meeting so people exchange information.
"We don't have enough bandwidth for that." - usually referring to not having enough resources like staff/time to perform a task - has nothing to do with internet bandwidth.
"We need to do a level-set." - Um.. I'm still not sure what this really means.
colonel5
03-14-2007, 05:17 PM
my boss has fallen in love with the word "dashboard" ever since we started using an online project management system that had a "dashboard"
but then again there's new buzzwords flying around here all the time. Sometimes I play a game to see how many people I can get to repeat a certain buzzword during a meeting.
LMAO nice colonel.
Weiner, those are prettttty bad. "We need to do a download."???
Baaaaaaaaaahahah.
I don't know why they use these terms instead of speaking plainly. Is it to sound cute or sound like they're trendy?
It's been five years since I worked in a corporate environment, but as I recall, I *THINK* it's because people want to appear smarter than they are.
This executive I used to work with used the term "ASP" all of the time. Which means application service provider (we had a hosted oracle portal *with a dashboard* I might add lol type thing going on). Not to be confused with Microsoft .asp ... which IS what our big, big, big web development client was referring to that one time in that big, big, big meeting. I laughed so much inside it hurt to hear her go on and on about who the hell knows what? 100% JARGON she picked up from our "ASP" provider. lol Good times.
Drawing a Blank
03-14-2007, 05:34 PM
"Can you PDF that to me?" Which usually means can you scan this for me and send me a PDF because I'm to damned lazy to scan it. I mean really when the hell did "PDF" become a verb.
seamas
03-14-2007, 06:29 PM
"Can you PDF that to me?" Which usually means can you scan this for me and send me a PDF because I'm to damned lazy to scan it. I mean really when the hell did "PDF" become a verb.
I get "jpeg" all the time, "Jim, couldya JPEG that to me?"
"Right away, chief" :(
seamas
03-14-2007, 06:34 PM
[quote=EC]
It's been five years since I worked in a corporate environment, but as I recall, I *THINK* it's because people want to appear smarter than they are.
quote]
The Simpsons had a great bit to that exact effect.
The CEO lady of Itchy & Scratchy is talking about a "paradigm shift" and "proactive" to the writers of the show.
One writer pipes up and asks "isn't 'paradigm' and 'proactive' words that stupid people use trying to look smart?"
Perfect.
ringwise
03-14-2007, 07:17 PM
I had a client email me yesterday, because she needed to "sync up" with me. Couldn't just say "talk"?
wienerdog
03-14-2007, 07:21 PM
I had a client email me yesterday, because she needed to "sync up" with me. Couldn't just say "talk"?
That's just perfect. And yeah, I think it's a bit of the "I like to sound hip and smart with my techy jargon speak even though I don't know squat about it" going on. These people use JPEG like they know the difference between file types. :)
I get "jpeg" all the time, "Jim, couldya JPEG that to me?"
"Right away, chief" :(
So he's really saying "could you compress me into a fraction of my former mass" Sounds like a plan. ;)
budafist
03-14-2007, 11:16 PM
When I throw in design words in releation to design problems people around here think I'm being snooty.
Me: Do you want a serif font or a san serif font?
Them: What's a san serif font?
Me: It's a font without a serif.
Them: Well, why didn't you just call it that?
Me: Because that's the name for it!
urstwile
03-14-2007, 11:18 PM
clicky (http://buzzwhack.com/)
Rocketpig
03-14-2007, 11:26 PM
I hate pretty much anything anybody ever says to me, ever.
One broad sweeping stroke does it all.
That "do a download" thing was terrible though. I think I'd punch someone in the face if they ever said that to me.
Mynock
03-15-2007, 03:10 PM
I like it when customers "download" stuff to our ftp site.
Typically
03-15-2007, 05:11 PM
When I throw in design words in releation to design problems people around here think I'm being snooty.
Me: Do you want a serif font or a san serif font?
Them: What's a san serif font?
Me: It's a font without a serif.
Them: Well, why didn't you just call it that?
Me: Because that's the name for it!
haha i just had a conversation about san serif and serif font's 30 mins ago. i threw san serif out there and got a blank stare with a head nod back haha.
wienerdog
03-15-2007, 06:44 PM
"We need to do a download." - referring to having meeting so people exchange information.
This one annoys me the most, I think. Why can’t they just say they need to have a meeting/conversation? Are you planning on connecting to me in some way, because I may have to contact HR about how inappropriate that sounds.
LeftBrain Artist
03-15-2007, 06:46 PM
This thread has a great synergy.
I used to know a guy who "did a download" in the mens room at the same time everyday. We once discussed whether download was the proper term but decided it was better than upload which would be more technically correct. :D
The_Black_Knight
03-15-2007, 09:00 PM
This thread has a great synergy.Yes, we're interfacing to take it to the next level and decide on actionables, so we can achieve a paradigm shift and have a win-win for the forum.
seamas
03-15-2007, 09:13 PM
Yes, we're interfacing to take it to the next level and decide on actionables, so we can achieve a paradigm shift and have a win-win for the forum.
Hey, now THAT's thinking outside the box! Way to get proactive! Going forward we should make it happen. PDF that to marketing asap.
*double points in The_Black_Knight's direction*
hewligan
03-15-2007, 10:36 PM
I'm getting real tired of people asking me to "turn their documents into pdfs" - by which they mean actually lay them out. One day, I'm just going to export their word doc to a pdf and hand it to them.
The_Black_Knight
03-16-2007, 01:49 AM
Hey, now THAT's thinking outside the box! Way to get proactive! Going forward we should make it happen. PDF that to marketing asap.
*double points in The_Black_Knight's direction*FYI, thanks for the heads up. I'll facilitate that ASAP and then we'll touch base. I'll put on my creative hat and work on the deliverables for the branding, then ping the associates. At the end of the day, we'll cycle the marketables.
LeftBrain Artist
03-16-2007, 07:31 PM
Splunge!
seamas
03-16-2007, 09:08 PM
FYI, thanks for the heads up. I'll facilitate that ASAP and then we'll touch base. I'll put on my creative hat and work on the deliverables for the branding, then ping the associates. At the end of the day, we'll cycle the marketables.
We're on the same page. I think teamwork will see successful throughput. Kudos for great project management.
*insert photo of the "handshake of synergy"*
Drorain
03-16-2007, 09:12 PM
I mix it up for them, throwing crap in just to get confused looks... you know stuff like...
"Hey boss can I get your mushroom stamp of approval"
or
"You get a brown star for effort"
^ Kinda like the bartender in Boondock Saints: "Now make like a tree and get the **** out!"
Virgo Nightingale
03-17-2007, 03:39 AM
We have a client who LOOOVES to talk in cheesy motivational cliches. While working on a brochure for him once, he emails me "It's almost there... The organization thinks it's a home run, but we need to really WOW them. Let's hit this one OUT OF THE PARK!" Barf.
Virgo Nightingale
03-17-2007, 03:45 AM
^ Kinda like the bartender in Boondock Saints: "Now make like a tree and get the **** out!"
Young Biff: Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here...
Old Biff: It's LEAVE, you idiot. Make like a tree and LEAVE. You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong.
Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
Workshy
03-17-2007, 04:44 AM
all i know is that when something goes wrong around here the first thing we do is have a "blamestorming" session
^^ hehe. Now that's actually really funny.