Moral Dilema

[SpugNothuson]

I am a man with morals and a conscience, most of the time, and I'm trying to figure out what I should do. Was wondering if any of you fine lot have encountered the following issue and what happened.

A client of mine is getting a little "over familiar" with me. It's not unwelcomed either, we do get on very well. This leaves me with a couple of options.

1. Pursue the possibilities and carry on working with her, so we'd have a potential relationship on two levels.

2. Pursue the possibilities and suggest another designer for hr to use, obviously wording this delicately.

There is a 3rd option of not pursuing her but I don't think I feel like following that line of thought, should work get in the way of fun?

(Oh dear, a bit of a Sex in the City moment there, imagine the last line being typed across a screen. See what she's doing to me, the madness is coming! :eek: )

[budafist]

If you're a moral man, then you should have no trouble having a keeping a professional relationship on top of a personal one. Don't screw her over. Professionally and personally. Easy.

If it all turns to custard, at least you've tried.

I'm assuming she's not a huge client. If the work she brings in is a large % of your income, then maybe you should think about this a little more carefully...

[captain spanky]

rock out with your crock out dude.
get paid in two ways if you know what i mean :D

[SpugNothuson]

If it all turns to custard,
I'd never heard that phrase before, I like it. Will have to shoe horn that into a couple of conversations this week.

She's not a big customer at all. Wouldn't be much hardship to lose the work.

get paid in two ways if you know what i mean :D
I do know what you mean can only hope niether form of payments stop. ;)

[Riya]

Therpists, doctors, lawyers and social workers are not allowed to have romantic relationships with clients.
It doesn't say anything about it in the AGIA code of conduct.
Apparently designers are. :D

[Ned]

I have no morals, so I won't bother with my input...

[SurfPark]

There are only two options: pursue her or not. The illogcial third option will create tension and end in disaster. Never date or fool around in the workplace if you take your career seriously.

If the client isn't that important to your work, you might be better off saying "I'm going to have to refer you to another designer becuase I feel like we're crossing over the normal designer-client relationship and I'd like to take it farhter." If you want to keep her as only a client, tell her that's your intention and create some boundaries.

[frankster]

If it all turns to custard, at least you've tried.

That implies custard is bad. Why would you infer such a thing when custard is so obviously good? Quit dissin' custard! mmm custard.

I wouldn't make the first move by trying to formally refer her to another designer. That's not playing hard to get at all. That's like saying I lurve you and I'm willing to take a pay cut just in case you lurve me too. She'll run a mile instead of being excited about a "forbidden" relationship. Just wait and see and enjoy the electric suspense for a while.

[Microswede]

I agree with Frankster. I mean, don't fix what aint broke, my friend. Who knows, maybe you'll be the exception to the rule against mixing business and pleasure, sales and sex, FedEx and ... Trojans?

All the best, man, and let us know how it goes!

[budafist]

I googled "turns to custard" and it turns out it's strictly a New Zealand phrase. Don't have a clue where it comes from though. I agree Frankster that custard is good. Still, the phrase is ingrained in our society.

[frankster]

s'ok Budda. I just recently discovered that the term "gone pear shaped" is a UK only thing. I designed a poster for a charity group in the UK featuring that phrase and the americans who viewed the proof were thoroughly confused.

[budafist]

I wonder where that phrase comes from?

I'm a bit pear shaped and I'm not sad about it :D

[DesignStudio]

If you're a moral man, then you should have no trouble having a keeping a professional relationship on top of a personal one.

...or depending on your preference, keep it on bottom of a personal one.

I'm assuming she's not a huge client.

yeah i'm assuming that too or he probably wouldn't be so interested in pursuing her.


this has been another episode of double entendre theatre.

[captain spanky]

sooooo then spug... it's been a few days now....

shown her your elephant yet? ;) :D

[budafist]

Spug is obviously busy getting familiar with his clientbase.

[SpugNothuson]

I'm not seeing her again till later this week, I'll see how that session goes. If I feel the same way as I usually do I'll pluck up the courage to test the water.

[John G]

when in doubt

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=work+and+relationship&word2=work+not+relationship

fight it out

[SpugNothuson]

That's it then. Decission settled.

I must use google fight more often. An impartial way of solving disputes.

[reuber1]

Don't screw her over.
I think buda also meant figuratively and literally (at least not yet). Sorry, I had to. It was there, too easy. :D

[DesignStudio]

be sure you make up some business cards that say, "customer satisfaction guarunteed!"

[urstwile]

Custard = good.

Turns to custard = bad.

An oxymoron for our times, but there you have it. These are rules to live by.

Thanks Buda. :)

[SpugNothuson]

I've used the "Turns to Custard@ phrase a couple of times now and I'm getting blank stares from people, they're not embracing my love for this one.

I'll get them in the end.

Need more phrases that don't translate.

[captain spanky]

lol i was just thinking that! i love random worldly phrasings which don't make much sense... am using a lot of TSPO's broken english at the mo...
"Are you leady for this?!" " This is GOOD CHOICE!"

[urstwile]

Well, Frankster has introduced me to the delight of the phrase "Christ on a bike", which has it own wonderful visual resonance, but I'm guessing you Brits already have familiarity with that one.

[SpugNothuson]

I've not uttered "Christ on a Bike" in a while. It's deserving of a comeback.

[budafist]

How does one use the term "Christ on a Bike"? Is it like exclamations "Holy Cow!" or "Ay caramba!"?

[Jimeda Fork]

Never date or fool around in the workplace if you take your career seriously.

I can't disagree with this enough. I met my wife at my job. We've been married for almost 8 years and have 2 great kids.

Now, my opinion obviously, is it's all about how you handle it. If you're hanging all over each other at work, then it's not gonna go over well with the bosses, but if you keep it professional at work, there should be no problem.

[Mynock]

Hit it and quit it?

[captain spanky]

I can't disagree with this enough. I met my wife at my job. We've been married for almost 8 years and have 2 great kids.

Now, my opinion obviously, is it's all about how you handle it. If you're hanging all over each other at work, then it's not gonna go over well with the bosses, but if you keep it professional at work, there should be no problem.

as with my parents... they met each other teaching at a school... 30 years later, still teaching at (technically) the same school (the name's changed a few times) and both well respected.
i mean it's not exactly the same as they were both the same status... so not like pro & client type thing but you know. ok i'll be quiet now.

[EC]

British words and phrases that Americans don't understand:

-- Taking the piss
Taking what?!

-- You alright?
Why, do I look sick?

-- I'm so pissed.
At who? What happened?

-- Wind me up
That sounds fun, whatever it is.

-- On the pull.
Sounds painful.

-- Ta!
Da?

Other words that we don't use and/or quote possibly have no idea what they mean:

Tosser
Posh
Mate
Bloody
Snog
Sod
Quid
Rubbish
Shag
Slag
Suss

[Mynock]

I have to admit watching BBC's The Office with subtitles because they talked so different, but once I watched it once through you start to pick up on things. It prolly would have been even more funny if I spoke English/was English.

[frankster]

I've found with the americans you can say the time is eight thirty, but if you say it's half eight then they get very confused indeed.

Also the phrase "you're pecking my head" for when someone is pestering or bothering you isn't got at all, neither is "doing my head in".

When I get a stubbed toe or bash my elbow or drop something on my foot or anything like then I tend to come out with a very fast torrent of swear words, such as "bugger-shit-piss-wank". That's a habit I'm trying to get out of with the kids around. Managed to persuade the two year old to say "dada's a git" when he says no about something (git is another word that isn't understood in th US, so we're safe with it for the moment)

[Jackimalyn]

I met some guys from England on my vacation last week and found out they call popsicles.... ICE-LOLLIES! thats the best word ever. Just thought Id share for those americans who were getting tired of boring words like "popsicles". Thanks Englanders.

[Typically]

[quote=frankster]
Also the phrase "you're pecking my head" for when someone is pestering or bothering you isn't got at all, neither is "doing my head in".
quote]

doing my head in haha is that followed by 30 mins? sorry couldn't resist :) is there a website somewhere that has uk phrases? i'm gonna bring the uk to the nj!