Hmm.

[Broacher]

A week ago today I returned home from an overnight stay in the ER department of the hospital close to where I work. I was working late at the office. But it was only around 8 pm. I've spent many, many extra hours working overtime in the past month because our department has been without a director and the jobs came pouring in without much gatekeeping. Anyhow, it was an extremely terrible time to take a day out of my schedule-- but on the other hand, it might have been an extremely terrible time for my family if I had taken a permanent time out. You have to understand that 1) it's a 45 minute commute home for me and 2) we're a one-car family.

I did manage to reach my wife prior to being checked in. Needless to say, she didn't sleep well that night. Anyhow, after they rushed me in (my blood pressure was over 200 at that point) and hooked me up, they were all set to start some kind of IV drug thing-- and suddenly, in about thirty second, everything went back to normal on it's own. Of course, then I had to wait six hours for another blood test to see if it was a blockage event (it wasn't). Then the ECG had a very minor blip which warranted a visit from the cardiologist-- which only took another four hours. Then the treadmill test, the echocardiogram, x-rays. All normal. The result? I have some kind of weird arrythmic condition. It's happened before-- kind of randomly, through the years. Only I don't normally collapse while walking.

Okay, that's most of the detail of what happened then. So when I did get home, I slept most of the day and the next -- mostly to make up for not being able to sleep in an ER ward (not the quietest spot).

The doctor said I was fine to go back to work. So I did. Even though I had missed a major deadline handoff. Fortunately, everyone understood the situation and made extraordinary accommodations. Then I worked through the weekend, putting in 26 hours.

When I said 'everyone' understood the situation, I do not, of course, include my wife. She was livid when I told her I was going back. And even more when I brought it all home and ignored everyone for a whole weekend to catch up.

Anyhow, the whole episode has given me much food for thought. Like, why-- when I thought I had a pretty chance of croaking, was I bent over, gasping and still typing out cover e-mails for proofs of projects? I think it's time for a vacation. I've got more than a month and a half of overtime accumulated.

I don't why I'm posting this exactly. Just wanted you guys to know that it's easy to get kinda sucked into this whole 'my work is my life' thing. Maybe it isn't. Somebody showed me a newspaper story today about this copy editor in a New York newspaper who had died at his desk and it took the staff five days to realize this. I'm not sure if that's how I want to be remembered.

Enjoy life. It's better than the alternative.

Cheers.

-Bob

[PrintDriver]

Broacher, I'm glad to hear it all turned out for the best. There's nothing like that moment of realization when you think the world is going dark and you wonder what is going to happen next.

I know the work-driven mindset intimately myself. It's a blessing and a curse.

Take care of yourself, man.

[Red Kittie Kat]

Wow Broacher ... that is very scary. I'm glad all is ok. Maybe it's just your bodies way of saying slow down a wee bit. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/RedKittieKat/smilies/hugs.gif

[frankster]

Christbox Bob! Glad you didn't bite the dust and all. Definately get your ass on holiday! A decent holiday. Not some long weekend a couple of hours away from the frontdoor. Something deliciously different and revitalising, and then tell us all about it and post some photos!

Non-stressy vibes
Franklett

[jessicam]

That really is scary, I am so glad to hear you are ok. Take it easy, and get that vacation. And *don't* spend the whole thing worrying about what you will come back to at work!

[reuber1]

Yikes, glad you're OK man. Yeah, I'd say a vacation is definitely in order.

[urstwile]

Wow, Broacher, that's horrific and yet also possibly a moment of epiphany at the same time.

I'm glad you pulled through it and I'm grateful to you for sharing the story with us here. We all need to look at our lives sometimes, and I can't think of a better incentive than something like this.

It definitely sounds like you need to step back and reexamine some priorities. I'm with your wife on this one.

I'm truly glad that you're okay.

[cnic]

Broach.... go away.

Need directions???

[Ned]

Wifey knows best, Broacher... you need to take a break.

Trust me, I know. I have allowed the stress of my life and my work completely destroy my health. I'm a complete wreck now.



PS, Hugs and Understanding.

[captain spanky]

holi holi holiday
:)
glads you feel better
take it cheesy man!

[Samakimoto Graphics]

Whoa! *Pole*

I'm glad you are OK... Time for some sun 'n' sand eh Broach'.

Oh and Broach, try more fibre in your diet - it worked wonders for me. Had something similar (less scary though) happen to me two weeks three weeks ago - I'd eat food and end up in the loo 10 minutes later (the hard way), after a series of tests that revealed nothing (and cost a bomb), I called the doctor and told her I will not be returning for review; I changed my diet to fibre, as soon as I had the first carrot juice and steamed sweet potatoes I felt great!

Throw out all the white bread (sub with all-bran cereal or whole wheat bread), cut out sugar and syrup (sub with honey), drink more milk, eat less fried food, and less red meat for a couple of weeks...I feel great.

All the best!

[morea]

Holy cow, that is terrifying.

I worked a job for 4 years that landed me in the ER. For me it turned out to be nothing serious, but that didn't stop it from being scary as hell.

I don't know if it's the case with you, but a lot of us (even subconsciously) associate our sense of "worth" as human beings with our jobs. It's great to feel needed, to feel important, to be relied on. When I was downsized, that was one of the hardest things to come to terms with.

I'm glad that the doctor gave you the green light to get back to work, but please be careful. Don't overdo it. I hope that you can find a way to get away from things for a while. A vacation is definitely a step in the right direction. And then, as urst said, it might be worthwhile to reexamine those priorities.

I mean, after all, you only live once.*

I'm sending positive thoughts your way.



*as far as we know.

[Mynock]

This might be your body's way of telling you to take a vay-cay (vacation). Go sit out a beach and watch the VAWs walk by in their tiny little bikinis.

[captain spanky]

lol @ morea

that's one of my fave sayings... "you only live once... unless you're a buddist" :D

[Drawing a Blank]

Anyhow, the whole episode has given me much food for thought. Like, why-- when I thought I had a pretty chance of croaking, was I bent over, gasping and still typing out cover e-mails for proofs of projects? I think it's time for a vacation.

Broacher, I am glad you had nothing serious wrong with you and you got to go back to work quickly. I don't want to make light of your situation. I know this from personel experience so I'm not pointing fingers (" before I put my foot in my mouth I'd like to say I'm afflicted by this addiction; hipocracy is the greatest luxury ~ Disposable heroes of Hiphpracy). One of the reasons you were there typing and gasping for air is because you allowed it to happen. People take advantage of others because they know they can and it sounds like your boss/company has placed a lot on your shoulders. I don't know much about your work situation, but you have to set limits for how much time you will put in at your job. If you don't you will always be the last one there and you will burn out.

I have pushed myself to do more freelance work for the last five years and I nearly quit just a few months ago. I would regularly get less than three hours of sleep a night and my wife was understanding to a point. She started complaining,with justification, that I was never in bed. I was always tired at my full time job and my health was in the toilet. I began to hate the work and for two weeks I actually contemplated quiting illustration completely. I love drawing and illustration, it is my passion, and I thought about quiting. Eventually I had to admit to myself that I couldn't please everyone and the problem wasn't the work, it was me. I never said no to a job or a tight deadline. Since then I have started thinking more about my happiness and have actually turned down a few jobs. I started exercising more and spending more time with my wife and son. Looking back I wondered why I ever worked as hard as I did. I realize now that I let it happen.

Hope your doing well and have a good vacation. You deserve it!!
DAB

[Exodus]

My dad used to work 85 - 90 hours per week (Computer Operations Manager) when I was growing up. He never saw his family and when he did, he took his stress out on us. He eventually developed bleeding ulcers among other bad health conditions. After he went into the hospital for respirator arrest that almost developed into cardiac arrest, he decided to get a new job. He felt better, he was a helluva lot nicer... He's been thankful that he finally "woke up" before it was too late ever since. Take this time to reevaluate your life, responsibility and goals. I think you are doing the right thing by taking a vacation. Listen to your wife... I know mine knows me better than myself most of the time!

[Broacher]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support, and free medical advice. While I do think that even a first year med student could probably figure out that the 'no sleep, no exercise, irregular diet' regime could be a clue, all that reduces to my basic motivation for why I accept or accommodate certain demands on my workload. Without getting into too much detail, let's just say where I work there has been quite a history of really good, really hard-working people being 're-organized' out of a job because the bean counters think they know best how to make things more productive (none of them, of course have any real design production experience). So yeah, fear is a great motivator. I tried to explain that to my wife, and I think she got some of it.

Where I live is perhaps the biggest factor in determining where I work. I like the work, and the people I work with a lot. The problem though is that I'm not in what you would call an 'urban center' and as such, the alternative positions available that would not be a real step down the career ladder, are slim to non-existent---unless I (and that would include my family) would be willing to totally relocate. But that's how I ended up here! I prefer the small town lifestyle.

I think I am by now, basically appreciated for my skills and talents by my org, only I don't suffer any illusion that I could not be replaced. Oh sure, it might take a second or two, but it would happen. I know that if my spot became vacant that there would be hundreds of local applicants standing in line. It's those kind of market conditions that makes one a little nervous about performance issues.

In fact, this particularly demanding month is a result of the 'Powers that Be' deciding that another full-time staffer who handled only this work (a 100 page catalogue, put out three times a year) could be replaced by 'automating' the process and having me add it to my workload. "It's all on a database now! All you have to do is plop it into layout!"

I protested against the feasibility of the whole thing when it was initially proposed until it was made clear that they thought I was being unreasonably pessimistic. So I turned my attitude around and became Mr. Efficiency. When the content delivery was delayed by three weeks, I didn't protest. When they added a total re-design to the catalogue I said, 'Great idea' and produced a real gem. All this even while my co-workers were standing up in meetings protesting against the unfairness of dumping this all on me (thanks guys!).

The silver lining? Two weeks from now we finally get a new boss (we've been working under a patch dotted-line manager for two months as our old boss left suddenly (and gleefully) for a better job elsewhere) who I just met for the first time last week. I'm very happy to say I think he is finally the pro we've been looking for. We met him after work at a local tavern and despite quickly being bombarded by my fellow staffer's questions, he came through with flying colours. You know how sometimes you just know when someone is being straight-- and your BS-detector stays quiet? That was my impression. The guy listened, he agreed with what we saw as major problems in our work organization and service delivery. He even agreed to meet first thing, first day and get right at working out a plan to move us into quickly away from a 'seat of the pants' operation into something much more organized. Bolstering this positive response is the fact that the VP who hired this guy is himself new (two months) and by all accounts of fellow staffers who have worked directly with him, a real straight shooter himself, and as one of my co-workers has said, "He just oultines he wants and says, 'I trust you to know what's the best way to do it'".

Spring and hope, eternal and all that. But I think it's going to change. We're all pretty well-relieved. And my episode is just the canary-in-the-coal mine message that, if anything else, will help deliver the message that significant change is really needed in the way our department handles work demands. Additional staffing resources are even being talked about!

I'm just glad to be able to still be around to see if this all comes about. When I think about all the work and contributions made by the good people who have poured themselves into my work place, and then were let go, it makes me sceptical and even cynical at times... but the people, the 'team' that remain and that I work with are the best I've ever known, and I don't want to give it up.

So thanks again. From the heart-- bumping along still quite nicely, thank you.

Fibre.... hmm, I guess moral fibre doesn't count, right? Not that I have a lot of that at my disposal.

Cheers.

[urstwile]

Well, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling optimistic about the future dynamics at your workplace, Broacher. I hope that it works out for you as you hope.

[morea]

I hope that the new management works out for the best, Broacher.
(((hugs)))

[Riya]

Good luck with the new management! And take it easy.

[Red Kittie Kat]

That sounds great Broacher ... just don't forget to be good to yourself once in a while ;)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/RedKittieKat/smilies/hugs.gif

[Samakimoto Graphics]

Good to hear Bob...

FIbre=no stress *wink*