Kool
05-18-2007, 02:01 PM
All you, Youtube favoriting, Talking about something called eurovision, Real mouse mouse wanting, Watching those stupid fish, Going to Bonaroo, Double spacing, Idiot breeding, Pissed at hovering coworkers, Swiss styling, Apple 30 getting, Finally an intern, Stumped by a later edition, Expensively gassed up, Off to Niue, Graphic designers!!!
Have a great weekend!!! http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/eatdrink042.gif
Thanks for the last minute help mo, sorry the string one didn't make the cut ;)
http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/qotweek.gif
Strategically placed bear traps work wonders. So does flatulence, particularly the post-baked-bean variety.
You must use the "Download the client's Brain" button!
Some client's brains can simply be sent as an e-mail attachment.
Is that what those 0k files are?
I thought they were bad fonts.
I like the concept, and think you should go with printing them on actual tickets.
You could have a big ass roll of them in your man purse (or whatever business bag you carry around) and whenever someone asks you for a card you can bust it out and tear one off. All the while talking like a crazy carny. That would be memorable enough.
I wouldn't kill an ant either. But I'm learning to kill mosquitos because they are bastards.
Just eat something that gives you horrible gas and let nature do the work for you, SBD my friend, SBD.
back off crack-rabbit. I need some coffee first.
Include a complimentary can of "peanut brittle". When they open it, snakes pop out and hilarity ensues. Make sure the snakes are real vipers, not the fake kind, they're way funnier. Just make sure to be careful when you shove the springs down their throats, and send that resume overnight priority - there's only so much air in the can.
George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one." Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and
recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother & father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
http://koolsplace.com/images/qotweekclassic.gif
So, what kind of people really jerk your chain? For me, it's rudeness or those people who like to think they're god's gift to the human race. Fundamentalists bother me too; the die-hard type that can't think for themselves, think all the answers to life are written out in "The Book" and they insist you must follow "their way". Also drivers who are in such a hurry to pull in front of you then stop to make a turn a quarter mile away. They need slapped. People who won't clean up after their dogs in public places. People with rotten breath that insist on speaking close to your face. Have a mint for Christ's sake or see a damn dentist and get those gums sandblasted. There's more but it's your turn.
Indian givers.
...No, I take that back.
Printers who f**k up my zip disk with the only copy I have of the work.
Yes, I know should make backup copies.
Yes, I have leasrned my lesson (for now at least)
Yes I know the disk was ok when I gave it over.
And yes it just happened to me.
Its the way it is..Murphy's Law...we KNOW that if we give someone a dick with the only copy of our work on it its gonna get messed up...but in the back of our minds we think "nahh..it will be ok, nothing will get lost" and then BAM...work is gone and the next question asked is "Didn't you back up your files?" haha!! Murphys Law folks!
um..d-zine??? that's a typo right??? you don't actually give someone your dick....
OMG!! ROFLMFAO!!!!! hahahha! Ok applesandy...yeah it was definately a typo ;o) bc I am a women and do not have one of them
Things that jerk my chain....when I make a major typo like that..but its not so bad I guess.I know I made atleast ONE person laugh! hahaha!
Have a great weekend!!! http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/eatdrink042.gif
Thanks for the last minute help mo, sorry the string one didn't make the cut ;)
http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/qotweek.gif
Strategically placed bear traps work wonders. So does flatulence, particularly the post-baked-bean variety.
You must use the "Download the client's Brain" button!
Some client's brains can simply be sent as an e-mail attachment.
Is that what those 0k files are?
I thought they were bad fonts.
I like the concept, and think you should go with printing them on actual tickets.
You could have a big ass roll of them in your man purse (or whatever business bag you carry around) and whenever someone asks you for a card you can bust it out and tear one off. All the while talking like a crazy carny. That would be memorable enough.
I wouldn't kill an ant either. But I'm learning to kill mosquitos because they are bastards.
Just eat something that gives you horrible gas and let nature do the work for you, SBD my friend, SBD.
back off crack-rabbit. I need some coffee first.
Include a complimentary can of "peanut brittle". When they open it, snakes pop out and hilarity ensues. Make sure the snakes are real vipers, not the fake kind, they're way funnier. Just make sure to be careful when you shove the springs down their throats, and send that resume overnight priority - there's only so much air in the can.
George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one." Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and
recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother & father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
http://koolsplace.com/images/qotweekclassic.gif
So, what kind of people really jerk your chain? For me, it's rudeness or those people who like to think they're god's gift to the human race. Fundamentalists bother me too; the die-hard type that can't think for themselves, think all the answers to life are written out in "The Book" and they insist you must follow "their way". Also drivers who are in such a hurry to pull in front of you then stop to make a turn a quarter mile away. They need slapped. People who won't clean up after their dogs in public places. People with rotten breath that insist on speaking close to your face. Have a mint for Christ's sake or see a damn dentist and get those gums sandblasted. There's more but it's your turn.
Indian givers.
...No, I take that back.
Printers who f**k up my zip disk with the only copy I have of the work.
Yes, I know should make backup copies.
Yes, I have leasrned my lesson (for now at least)
Yes I know the disk was ok when I gave it over.
And yes it just happened to me.
Its the way it is..Murphy's Law...we KNOW that if we give someone a dick with the only copy of our work on it its gonna get messed up...but in the back of our minds we think "nahh..it will be ok, nothing will get lost" and then BAM...work is gone and the next question asked is "Didn't you back up your files?" haha!! Murphys Law folks!
um..d-zine??? that's a typo right??? you don't actually give someone your dick....
OMG!! ROFLMFAO!!!!! hahahha! Ok applesandy...yeah it was definately a typo ;o) bc I am a women and do not have one of them
Things that jerk my chain....when I make a major typo like that..but its not so bad I guess.I know I made atleast ONE person laugh! hahaha!