Identity recreation (school project) CRITIQUE.

[Nagol]

So this is a logo I created for a company named "Visionary Optical" (obviously) for a design and concept class. Eventually I must create buisness cards, letterheads, mailers, ect. A complete overhaul. VO sells trendy eyeglasses as well as vintage frames out of dresser drawers, they do eye exams as well. It's a small spot smack dap in the middle of Uptown (Minneapolis), a trendy spot with lots of unique characters abound. The target is males and females older than 16 but not much older than 30. Anyways, this is what I came up with after around 50 thumbs and a few renderings. Just wanted a few opinions. I attempted to represent "focus" as well as trying to make it look a bit retro. Also the store is right in the middle of everything, so the centered circles have that meaning as well. It gives the effect of eyes too, so I felt it did it's job of incorporating all of those things. Again, this is for a class, so critique is greatly appreciated. You all know the drill. Also, I like the colors, but up for any suggestions. Thanks!

PS - I also included the old logo, just for comparison sake. I feel you will all enjoy the stretched out Arial Rounded bold text.

[D-Frag]

I think the second one would be so much better if you dropped out the floating eye on the bottom, its distracting and not holding anything in place, plus, who nowadays has 3 eyes (and no, that one doesn't count) so I think it would be much better if you only had 2 circle eye things. I like the colors. I would also suggest either making both eyes the same (as far as placement of the inner dot) or keeping them in the same style, with on floating on the outside of the circle, and the othe one dead center, it doesn't do anything for me but look off. hope that helps and good luck.

[budafist]

Hey! I did a project on a optometrist business for a design assignment at GD school too. I renamed my business "Seek" because when I walk into an optometrist I'm often overwhelmed by the gazillions of frames. You attempt to find a point of difference between each frame and seek the "perfect" pair. I made a pattern out of glasses frames and my logo was made up of a bunch of different coloured and shaped frames which could change depending on what section of the pattern was being viewed.

Logo
The spacing of the eyes is very uncomfortable and I feel the the eye drawing itself is too cartoon like. They remind me of those stick on eyes that if you shake them, the eyes can move around in the plastic bubble.

[Nagol]

The cirlces themselves really weren't suppose to represent eyes, perhaps I shouldn't have put that in the description...They are meant to be circles, circles that go from being completely skewed to a feeling of being centered. I did a few with the circles outlying the placeholder circle and it really played tricks on your eyes, far too distracting. The reason for having 3 of them is to show a better progression as far as the "coming to the center, being focused, and just all around whole." With 2 it would never work. I also felt the larger one underlying the other 2 actually helped bring the eye up to the name itself. As for the spacing of the "circles" being uncomfortable, that is the critique I'm looking for...I want a symbol, though, in the logo that would allow for a much simpler stamp on say an envelope or a mailer that would be recognizable to a customer who has done business there before. Figured I would offer a bit more explanation.

Maybe I should move the circles outside of the placeholder circle as to not make them appear as eyes, or maybe its the colors give that effect. In black and white they could have never been thought of as "eyes." Just looking for those types of suggestions.

[budafist]

Perhaps try different colours then. Black and white will still look like eyes. Try some warm colours like red, orange, yellow that won't be perceived as eyes.

[incubeezer]

Perhaps try different colours then. Black and white will still look like eyes. Try some warm colours like red, orange, yellow that won't be perceived as eyes.

those colors aren't vintage like he wants. is there another way to show focus that doesn't look like something else? if they're seeing it as eyes so will other people...logan.

[tZ]

optomitrist- eye- not a very far leap. In fact there was just an optomitrist logo on here and quess what- there was an eye in it.

An eye is the first thing that comes to mind perhaps look at the definition and post some other directions. I assume you want your solution to be unique so look beyond the obvious.

optometry:

the practice or profession of examining the eyes for visual defects and prescribing corrective lenses.

An eye alone is a very broad in its visual meaning. However, if you break it down into prescribing corrective lenses for visual defects then you might be able to push the concept farther. An eye is just one part of the puzzle and a small one if that.

Where I would recommend beginning is sorting out the true meaning and other things a visual defect could be. I think that might be were you find the most unique idea. The first thing that came to my mind is a picture hanging on wall crooked- its a "visual defect". I don't know what exactly could be done with that but, perhaps its a place to start rather then just… an eye.

[Drazan]

I looked at that and saw eyes as well. Also the kerning of the letters seem spaced to far apart. The circles don't reach out and grab me as a memberable element. If it hasn't been said before, always work in black and white before adding in the colors. And size the images as you would see them on letter heads, packaging, yellowpage ads etc. Does the logo work in those image sizes?

Uptown is very trendy place, as you said, as well as attracting people from all over as a must stop and shop place. The whole area is old converted buildings into specialty shops and resturants. A logo - thusly used for a sign later - must have that catchy appeal to make people want to visit that store.
Webcam (http://www.earthcam.com/usa/minnesota/minneapolis/index.php?goto=hof)

[Nagol]

Okay, the idea itself I am really fond of, and being is that this project is never going to go past the walls of my school I will probably keep it a bit of my personal style as I really don't have any customer to satisfy, however I still want to make this the best it can be...just keep it fun. When you said "an crooked picture" I really saw it, so I took the angles out, tightened up the kerning, and offset the circles more to remove that appearance of an eyeball. I realize that a frame store is going to be immediately associated with an eye as it is, but now it doesn't seem like a cartoony googly eye, I was concerned about that, because the place itself is sophisticated. Just keep it coming, I'm enjoying this.

PS - thanks for explaining Uptown a bit more for those who have never seen it before, I'm sure that will help people out when they go to critique. It's a beautiful place to go and the culture is amazing.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h123/IInagolII/VOre-1.jpg

[Drazan]

heh, ya. Uptown to Minnesotans is like calling the Mall of America - MOA or Mega Mall. For those not in the know, well, lose out on that significance.

Better, but I think that if you enlarge the bottom portion so that the line matches the width of Visionary - it may read better. Right now "ptical" is a little lost.

[Nagol]

What do you think about the transparency? To help the "O" stand out more I think it's effective. I agree with making the lines match, tried to do that while still creating alignment with the triangle of circles, having a hard time finding other spots that match at all...which led me to the triangle of circles, which was actually something I tried in the very beginning, I like it, but I'm not crazy about it. I think the "o" in "visionary" may get lost too much. But I know you'll tell me what you think. Keep it coming.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h123/IInagolII/VOre3-1.jpg

[Samakimoto Graphics]

I'm coming in abit late on this one, but seeing the three just above, I'm visually boggled by the use of so many shapes for the "O"s. Keep it simple.

You've done well with the type, I would chose one of the three shapes repetitively for "o"s and dump the other two - either keep the "bulls-eye"shape or one of the other two variables in both the top and bottom "o". Or use one "o"shape for both top and bottom by alligning the two type lines.

Sorry if I butchured your concept, I felt the triangle of shapes was a bit much.

All the best

[Nagol]

I feel that the 3 cicles have to stay, it's the whole center of the concept...and I personally still feel that it gives it a unique trendy-esque kind of aura. Without them I lose all concept completely. The idea itself has already passed the approval phase by the instructor so I really feel I have to work with this one from that point. The last image wasn't saved right either, for some reason I only had one circle on the top file...this is what I did with the spacing, kerning, and really just meticulously figeted with everything. I like it...but let's keep going.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h123/IInagolII/VOre4.jpg

[Typically]

when i read it i get Visionary oooptical. also if this is going to be a logo the transparency isn't going to work in a 1 color print. i know that you're set on the 3 circles but i think it distracting. i think if you use the spaced out circles for the O in visionary and the bulls eye circle for the O in optical it'll still be trendy but look a lot less busy.

[CkretAjint]

I know that you're set on the 3 circles but i think it distracting.

I agree. I look at any of the versions and my eye goes straight to the cyan circles. I totally skip over the 'Visionary Optical,' almost to the point of where I could careless what is says or has to do with the business. Not a good thing for a companies main logo / identity.

[Nagol]

The blue was a bit overbearing, toned it down and took the circles completely out of the "interactive" part of the name. Made them more of a secondary visual by size.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h123/IInagolII/VOre5-1.jpg

[CkretAjint]

OOOoooooookay.. I see it now! (haven't read the entire post, so bare with me) The circles on the side are coming into 'focus' / the center. NARF on my part. lol... If this is the case I would bump the dark brown circle out of the first O-thingy out a bit more. Should help get the point across....

Definately prefer the top one out of those 2....

and the 'O' on Optical seems rather fat. Is it stroked to much perhaps?


____________

It's getting there. Definately seems to be the final tweeking left. Good job with accepting everyone's criticism so far. Way better then blowing up on people for speaking their voice. *thumbs up*

[Nagol]

Yeah, I noticed that after I posted it, I adjusted it. Thanks for noticing though.
I spaced out the "Visi" a bit as well, felt like they were a bit crammed together.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h123/IInagolII/VOre5-3.jpg

[budafist]

I think it's pretty good now. I would make the darker brown even darker for more contrast or it gets lost in the medium brown a bit.

[frankster]

Hey buda! Show us the logo you did in school. I'm intrigued from your description. When you mentioned shapes of frames I thought of the two ronnies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Two_Ronnies) logo that I used to see on tv all the time as a kid in the UK.

[budafist]

At the start of my final year of Uni I accidently wiped my whole computer drive. So all I have is a scan of a print out of it. You get the general gist from this though. The frames are based on the frames I'm wearing and I made tiny changes to the shape.

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/4287/seekag4.jpg

[Typically]

It looks a lot better now. Good stuff man

[Nagol]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the comments and opinions I recieved on this project from all of you. Everybodys critique was noted and appreciated. The final project was the same as the last picture posted, just had to twek the colors to get enough contrast and make it look correct as the first prints are never the right colors. I am satisfied with the changes that were made, and am just grateful that I can get honest feedback here without having to pry it out of an instructor that doesn't wish to step on a students toes. Thanks again, Ill be posting more as I am pleased with the way this worked out, it really helps me grow as a student.

[mikelong622]

Bravo

[CkretAjint]

*feels all warm and fuzzy inside* :D

[urstwile]

How great of you to post this, Nagol. So many come here, get honest feedback, and walk away wounded. I'm glad you were able to take the comments in the way you did and improve your design. That's what we strive for here. :)