Ad Critique

[BrentonMailman]

Hey everyone. It's been forever since I last posted anything here!

Anyway, This is an ad I designed about a month ago for a the cottage rental business that my parents own and operate.

The ad will appear in the fall issue of a family-oriented magazine based in Halifax (about 2 hours away from us). They wanted the ad to focus on their close location and have a summer-fall feel to it. The ad will be about 6cm x 4.5cm (and is surprisingly legible at that size.) It's extremely vivid when printed, really jumps off the page :)

Anyway, tell me what you think.

http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs19/f/2007/259/0/e/the_perfect_family_getaway_by_BrentonMailman.jpg


and smaller:

http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs19/300W/f/2007/259/0/e/the_perfect_family_getaway_by_BrentonMailman.jpg

PS-the branding here is all to do with our soon-to-be-realized new look :)

[double A-ron]

I like it a lot. Nice works. The only suggestions I would have would to be maybe get rid of the period after "away" or kern it in a bit so that it's closer to the word as it seems to be just floating there.

[budafist]

No pictures of the building?

I had to choose accommodation recently and I didn't ask about the pricing of advertising that didn't feature photos of the location. That's important to me as a potential customer. Maybe you should consider this?

OK, checked out the website and photos are the first things you see so I guess I can retract the above. You guys got bunnies there?! Yay! I love buns!

Will your new look run through the website also?

[SerenaC]

Very nice. Yes, get rid of the period.

I would reduce the name of the business and/or move it down a bit. It seems to crowd the rest of the information too much and cuts off the heads of the family's reflection. Also, give some serious attention to kerning throughout; it makes me twitch a bit.

But - nice job!

[BJMRGTIVR6]

Overall good. I too agree on teh period. looks a little out of place there.
THe website name seems a bit odd, maybe it is the kerning or maybe since it is long, using capitol letters would have helped and then lowercase letters between...that could be me though.

But the photo is enticing, as is the headline. one thing that strikes me funny is the horizon being off-kilter, but by fixing it, the people look like they'd be off-kilter. idunno

[BrentonMailman]

Thanks, everyone

I hadn't even noticed how far away the period was.. oops. And yes, the new look will run through the website, brochures.. everything. But I do like the period... and I will keep it. To me, it brings the two pieces together, meking the statement feel more like a sentence. And just sort of makes it seem more final. Like thats just the way it is... we're awesome, we're close. period.

We didn't want the name to be any smaller as the ad size is extremely small.

And for kerning, SerenaC, I'm assuming you're mainly talking about "getaway", the "o" in "two" and "hours", and "away"?

Oh, and the "TAG" spacing in "COTTAGES"... right?


Ugh, I hate how blury and dull this looks here. When printed, it looks fantastic!

anyway, thanks for the feedback!

[BrentonMailman]

The website address looked stupid to me in any other form, so I settled for caps...

And I agree on the horizon in the photo. If I made it straight, I'd have to crop the image down so much it would be a shame.. and the people would be way slanted then...

I dunno, I think the picture kind of has a second horizon, visually, that is straight...
Look at the left horizon, it's at the same point as the top of the dark area in the surf on the right... kind of makes a line across the image...
And the actual horizon is quite faint.. For me, this makes it all work somehow...

[tZ]

Is this cottage located on the beach?

[BJMRGTIVR6]

i agree with the "pseudo-horizon" and how it makes things OK.

although seeing it on the Work monitor, the real one pops a bit more than at home. sill overall nice job.

[carolyn]

that's a cute ad, i like it. i think you could do without the perion but if you do keep it, as a-ron said you need to kern it in a little.

are you sure you need the website in caps? nonspaced caps are so hard to read.

[SerenaC]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I forgot to mention the horizon, since as a photographer, that's a pet peeve of mine! I'm afraid I have to disagree with the idea that it's okay as is. I really, really think it's going to look like an amateur mistake and be a turn-off. I see many photos, framed beautifully and hung in public places even, where the photographer failed to straighten the horizon line, and it just looks bad. I rotated and cropped your photo as a test (4 degrees) and the people didn't look tilted at all; they were perfectly fine. Yes, you might lose a bit of the photo with cropping, but you could fill in a little with Photoshop.

I would reconsider the period in light of the fact that the sentence actually continues below it (from Metro).

And for kerning, SerenaC, I'm assuming you're mainly talking about "getaway", the "o" in "two" and "hours", and "away"? Oh, and the "TAG" spacing in "COTTAGES"... right?

Mainly, yes.

[BrentonMailman]

Thanks guys. I won't be changing this ad a whole lot right now seeing as it has already been printed in probably the only place it will ever be used, but extreme thanks for the critiques!

tZ, yes, the cottages are located a few seconds walk from a beach very similar to this.

[BrentonMailman]

Well look at me... looks like I fixed it anyway...

http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs20/i/2007/260/2/9/compare_by_BrentonMailman.png

[edit] whoa, i sooo didn't need that third smaller one... :)

[BrentonMailman]

and a bigger version so you can take a closer look.
http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs20/f/2007/260/0/e/compare_by_BrentonMailman.png

[SerenaC]

Much better! :) http://www.addis-welt%3C.de/smilie/smilie/diverse/div348.gif

[BJMRGTIVR6]

better. i agree as well.