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chame1eon
09-20-2007, 07:13 PM
This work is one page of fourty-eight that will be part of a University LBGT magazine being created for release coinciding with "Coming Out Week". Any constructive comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you
double A-ron
09-20-2007, 07:50 PM
It might help if you actually posted an image or a link to an image.
morea
09-20-2007, 08:29 PM
welcome to the forum chame1eon. This thread will show you how to host images to post them here: http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25438
CkretAjint
09-20-2007, 08:40 PM
meh.
martyng
09-21-2007, 08:10 AM
This is just my opinion but I think it needs a little more.....
muzik
09-21-2007, 09:14 AM
less color
more elements
just my oppinion
budafist
09-21-2007, 10:22 AM
I like it how you've gone with the "less is more" approach.
In the meantime...here's a couple of chameleons.
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/animals/images/primary/panther-chameleon.jpg
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/PhotoGallery/ReptilesAmphibians/photos/chameleon_fpo1149-30.jpg
chame1eon
09-21-2007, 01:29 PM
OK Let's try this again. Yesterday I tried many times but my file just wouldn't upload. These works are two pages of fourty-eight that will be part of a University LGBT magazine being created for release coinciding with "Coming Out Week". Any constructive comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you morea!
Here are my image links:
http://i15.tinypic.com/61vp3j6.jpg
http://i7.tinypic.com/67xngjb.jpg
CkretAjint
09-21-2007, 01:33 PM
Wow, that red is BRIGHT!
I see 3 widows as well.
morea
09-21-2007, 01:43 PM
you're welcome. :)
On the first page, why is the shadow purple on two of the people but blue on the 3rd?
I'm not sure that I like the way that the quote in purple is broken up to just one word per line... it's a little hard on the eyes. Of course, if you're doing it that way to create tension, maybe that's a good thing.
The middle column of text seems a little bit cramped... you could consider giving it a tad more breathing room on the right hand side. The word "how" on the 7th line, and "their" farther down the page are pretty close to the vertical divider line, and there's enough room to move the other two columns out some to free that up.
I'm not sure that I get the point of the black box on the left (before the "literary work / verbal account" part.
I like the second one. :)
teniworks
09-22-2007, 11:56 PM
I would definitely lower the opacity on the heart or make it another variation of red (i.e. a very light pink). I can't really look at the columns of text now
b/c it's hard on the eyes :eek: Also work on the "I think..." title. Right now, the words are stacked unevenly on top of one another. You can can sometimes get away with doing things like that if you have either 1) less words and stagger them or 2) different type treatments using 2 words then 3 words (i hope that makes sense). Why not try making the picture extend across the top of the page and then work on the title text with the image so it is no longer "floating". Also, work on the rags on both articles. They are a bit wavy now. I hope this helps out some.