Need some advice.....

[DonnaL]

Ok... here's the scoop.... I really need some input on what some of you would do... *basically for the females on the forum*.. but males are welcome to comment..... <grin!>..... now I have to state that I am gay, and I'm in a committed relationship - reason why i'm moving to Australia....

I will be moving to Australia at the end of April '08. I currently live in an apt. complex where my rent is just a wee bit too high to handle alone... and since I"m moving shortly, I can't re-sign a lease. I could go month-to-month but they'll add an extra $100 ontop of my current rent... No Gooda!!

I work for a weekly paper and some guy came in to place a classified "roommate" wanted and 3 of us plus him got to talking and he seemed pretty decent enough... He's looking for a female to rent a room in his house, full house priveledges and that he would only be there maybe a weekend or two a month as he only comes here to make use of the lake we have. Otherwise he lives 3.5 hours away.... So by the end of the conversation I had mentioned I might be interested in it.

Ok.... well.... we have conversed now over the past few weeks now.. he's in his 60's.. has a grown daughter.. divorced and is still friends with his ex and he's a traveler.. still fit enough to do things... bought wave-runners for the lake... etc...

Today I met with him.... and he KNOWS that I am in a committed lesbian relationship but yet he tossed out some questions at me that made me feel a bit ....... uncomfortable..... is all I can say... Now granted, i don't mind answering questions about relationships.. but his questions, I couldn't figure out if they were directed at ME or if he was trying to get a "female" opinion on things..... he asked....

"I know you're in a committed relationship, but help me understand.. would you have casual sex with someone else?" I immediately got the impression that this was directed at possibly "sleeping" with him before my girlfriend arrives here in Feb.... All I could do was say hell no! I'm committed and i don't believe in casual sex with anyone if I'm involved with someone whole-heartedly....

Some other "off the wall" questions were asked to....

My question.... should I be cautious about this guy and not rent out the room?
OR...........
Deal with it for 6 weeks til my gf arrives? She'll set him straight! (no pun intended!) LOL!!!

I really don't wanna pass up this room because it's HALF of what i pay now and it's ONLY temporary!! He knows I'll be leaving in April... I don't have to sign a lease with him. My current lease ends at the End of December so I have some time to really absorb this... so should I befriend him more and let it be known he has no chance in hell with me? Or...... toss this out the window and continue to struggle financially?

What do you think?

[Red Kittie Kat]

Well Donna I think you answered your own question. If he made you feel that uncomfortable that you are giving pause to this move you should probably look for other options.

But, that is just my observation from what you said. Good luck with all this.

[GraphixNPrint]

UHM, from a guys point of view... NO! His questions seemed pretty strait forward.

Have you thought about short term housing like the residence inns kind of things? Not sure where you live in AZ but could be an option, considering there your utilities etc are included and would pay a weekly or monthly rate.

Just a thought

[DonnaL]

I live in Bullhead City... across the river from the Laughlin Casino's.... I thought about living in a hotel but that would be a bit tough... I have a small dog...

I mean, I think I could handle him... I'm not afraid to be blunt about things and set things straight but I also don't know him well enough to know if he'd sneek in my room or something.... but then again, i don't wanna be blunt enough that he turns around and throws me out, leaving me homeless either..

[budafist]

If you get the feeling that the question wasn't a hypothetical one and directly between the 2 of you, then it's probably a not a good idea to go there.

There are people that ask these questions because they want the answer to be no. Example, a Christian or someone else with less than liberal morals might ask a lesbian that question feeling that they could handle a lesbian in a commited relationship but not a lesbian that had a lot of casual sex. Personally I wouldn't want to live with anyone gay or straight that had a lot of casual sex at home. It means random strangers calling my place home on any day of the week. So while I'm not so forward to ask the question myself, I'd be interested to know whether a potential flatmate was going to be bringing home people they just met. It's a security issue. I used to live in an inner city apartment where everyone's friends and friends of friends would drop by and stay. Nothing precious actually got stolen (we put a lock on our bedroom door) but if you valued your food and booze you couldn't put it in the kitchen.

By the way, are you selling your stuff or moving it to Australia? I ask this because you might be thinking of starting to sell it now. Moving house is a great way to get rid of all your junk or at least evaluate how big a job it is going to be to move your stuff!

[GraphixNPrint]

Well Donna, you live right across the river so to speak. There are plenty of "residence inns" that accept pets. Explore that first, I have a bad feeling about this guy just off gut feelings.

Or, contact a local realtor or rental place and see if they know of someone offering a room. Anything would be better than getting stuck in a situation that could turn out wrong.

[DonnaL]

I don't have much stuff at all really.... my mum will be taking most of the big stuff... other stuff I have is yard sale stuff I bought when i first moved here... easily junked. and I'll probably put other stuff I have for sale in the papers.... other than that... just a knick-knack stuff...

As far as the flatmate.... he won't be there much, like he told me, he's only there maybe once or twice a weekend.. he never stays the week except in the summer when there's more action on the river... it's cooling off now tho.

Well... again.. my lease here doesn't end until Dec. 22nd... I guess I have plenty of time to think this through... but your opinions and advice and points of view can help me to make a clearer decisions....

thanks!!!

[balou]

Trust your gut Donna. You've still got time to find something else. I would run. If he's asking questions like that in the first meetings - run. If he feels comfortable crossing those boundaries even before getting to know you, it's only going to get worse. Trust your gut. Or, trust mine and find another place.

[DonnaL]

If he's asking questions like that in the first meetings - run. If he feels comfortable crossing those boundaries even before getting to know you, it's only going to get worse
Good point....

I did forget to mention... I have to give a 60 day written notice... therefore... I have 7 days to give my notice where I'm at now... just hope I'll be able to actually find something cheap enough with no lease. **shrugs**

[balou]

Have you put the word out to friends, family and co-workers that you're looking for a room to rent for a few months? Or maybe a classified ad that you're looking for a room to rent?

Have you talked to your current landlord? Maybe they would be willing do a month to month lease after December. Wouldn't hurt to talk to them.

[DonnaL]

Have you put the word out to friends, family and co-workers that you're looking for a room to rent for a few months? Or maybe a classified ad that you're looking for a room to rent?

Have you talked to your current landlord? Maybe they would be willing do a month to month lease after December. Wouldn't hurt to talk to them.
Current landlord will want an extra $100 a month for month-to-month renting... I can't afford it... I can barely afford to live here on regular rent but it's all I could find that was "decent".... this city is rather sleezy....

As far as friends and family/co-workers... I work with a husband/wife who own the paper I work for... they know I'm looking but they're of no use... and my one and only co-worker just moved here from Ohio.... I don't have friends here... as I've only been in Bullhead less than a year myself.

Also.... I need to keep the "for a few months" hush-hush since my boss/es don't know of my intentions on moving to AU simply because I need to keep this job as long as possible... they could turn around and just hire someone esle and let me go....

Bullhead city is really dumpy... lots of transients (sp?)... there's a running joke around here that a woman rated a 10 is: 2 kids, a six-pack and 2 teeth!!
That should paint a picture!! LOL...

Lots of mobile homes that are about 20 years old... call it a redneck town in a busy city...

[balou]

Ah. OK. I still don't thing I'd risk it with a possible perv. Maybe a very part-time job to help cover the extra rent for a few months?

LOL at the 10 in Bullhead City! :D

[DonnaL]

This oughtta show you a little of what I "see" quite often...

[DonnaL]

Oh... and a second job is out of the question... I'm also trying to get my Associates so I'm studying and doing assignments when I'm not work...
I've thought about the second job... just not doable...

So.... when this guy came along... I guess it's one of those "too good to be true" scenarios.... eesh!!

[balou]

Old plumbers die hard. ;)

[budafist]

Can you just extend the lease to April 08? I'm sure it's easier for the landlord to do that than for the landlord to have to find another tenant.

[DonnaL]

Can you just extend the lease to April 08?
nup! no go! I asked.... They're hard asses here.... they sent me a bill for $2.10 that I owed in pet fees, late fees and "other" fees... I disputed it... and won! So no.... they won't do it. They are run by some other top notch management company out in east-bum-&%$# somewhere..... LOL!!!

[DonnaL]

Old plumbers die hard. ;)
LOL!!!! that's looking out my work window.....

[captain spanky]

from a blokes point of view...

he might not have encountered that many lesbians before so they might just be general 'what do lesbians do' questions... if he is being blunt and being a little pervy, be equally as blunt back to him (without being offensive) and let him know there certainly is NO chance of anything happening outside of a relationship. You should always have other options open, but unless this guy really creeps you out, it doesn't sound like a bad situation to me! :)

[morea]

Yuck, what a bummer of a situation. As big a relief as it would be financially, I don't think that I could bring myself to do it. Sure, there's the possibility that it's all just (tactless) innocent behavior, but it sounds to me like the reason that the rent is so low is because it's supposed to be supplemented with sexual favors.

[Ovaltine]

Go with your gut on matters of personal safety. Rationalizing behaviors gets people (especially women) in trouble. I've only experienced the gut "this guy isn't right" feeling a few times, but I will not ignor it.

There was a book written on this subject by some guy who did research into murders and other violent crimes. I heard an interview he did about the book, and he said that one key thing he noticed (aside from the fact that most victims know thier attacker) is that most victims had an initial gut feeling that something wasn't right about the other person, but they chose not to listen to thier gut. They rationalized the situation instead of getting out of it.

So, whatever your gut is telling you, listen.

[DonnaL]

be equally as blunt back to him (without being offensive) and let him know there certainly is NO chance of anything happening outside of a relationship. You should always have other options open, but unless this guy really creeps you out, it doesn't sound like a bad situation to me!
I was pretty much straightforward with him.. telling him my situation from the get-go. The first two conversations with him were about the place and when I called him from home to fill him in more about was to tell him about Lyn, like I stated before, my work doesn't know I'm leaving.

Sure, there's the possibility that it's all just (tactless) innocent behavior, but it sounds to me like the reason that the rent is so low is because it's supposed to be supplemented with sexual favors.
The reason the rent is so low is because it's a 20 year old mobile home the he bought to live in while he's here in bullhead for the weekend or a week. he's retired and a traveler.. If I were to rent a mobile from a realtor it would be a couple hundred more than what he's asking plus my paying my own utilities, a lease, and a hefty security. He's asking half utilities, no lease, and a small deposit.

Ovaltine: I do usually go with my gut feeling, more often then not... It's not a bad bad feeling, just a bit uneasy that yeah, he could be a perv, or it could just be that he's someone who just asks lots of questions. My thinking is... can I deal with his pervertedness until my gf arrives. If I did move in there, it will be at the end of December. My gf will be arriving at the beginning of Feb. If I can stick it out til she arrives.

Again, he said he wouldn't be there that often as he lives in Prescott and does a lot of traveling. So those are the things I'm weighing out...

P.S. Good morning everyone!!! <grin>

[morea]

just be careful. Sure, you can hold your own and deal with some perviness... but if you don't know this guy and are getting ANY kind of a bad vibe from him, I would run screaming in the other direction and never look back. He could be a psychopath. He could be a sex offender. If you don't know, don't take chances. Your safety is not worth any amount of money.

What does your gf say about it?

[balou]

Well, if you decide to move in, look around for little red lights or round shiny lenses. ;) Be careful.

[DonnaL]

She feels the same about it too.... uneasy.... but asked me if she thought I could stick it out til she got there too...

Her brother-in-law is a perv... he's in his 60's and married her sister who's in her mid 40's... has hit on my gf in the past.. so she pretty much knows what it's like if he "is" a perv or not, but she did say that he sounds a lot like her brother-in-law.

Cripes, are all old men pervs?? LOL!!! Is there a certain age when they see a sign that says "perv stage" approaching??

[DonnaL]

Well, if you decide to move in, look around for little red lights or round shiny lenses. ;) Be careful.
LOL!!!!!

[captain spanky]

i think to some degree, all men are pervs. ;) :D lol

[morea]

Cripes, are all old men pervs?? LOL!!! Is there a certain age when they see a sign that says "perv stage" approaching??

You know, I didn't think so... but now that you mention it, my grandfather had a rather unhealthy fascination with Vanna White.

If you talk to the right people you might be able to get a grant if you're interested in conducting some research. :D

[DonnaL]

You know, I didn't think so... but now that you mention it, my grandfather had a rather unhealthy fascination with Vanna White.

If you talk to the right people you might be able to get a grant if you're interested in conducting some research. :D

Women go through menopause....

Men go through women-o-paws

**digs out gov. grants book**

[chalsema]

You know, I didn't think so... but now that you mention it, my grandfather had a rather unhealthy fascination with Vanna White.

LOL, my little brother had an obsession with her too when he was about 4 or 5. Only he called her "Banna"... "I wanna watch Banna!!!" :rolleyes:

[DonnaL]

My gf and I are talking through yahoo this morning about this guy.... here's her perspective.... and some good points...

Lyn: put it this way....lets get it back into some perspective.......
Lyn: his intention if honest is to find someone to safeguard his holiday home....
Dee: pro
Lyn: even if he was looking for some "benefits".....he would surely have to know himself ...that it was a long shot to actually "find" someone willing to to that "benefit" thing...?
Dee: very true....
Lyn: so he tries the questions ....gets his answers....and goes from there, he knows where you stand.....so now I'd assume he'll back off....unless he thinks he can get somewhere by pursueing it.......
Dee: yeah... good point baby....
Lyn: it could have been a trap......advertising like that for someone, keeping the rent low ......he must know that he was NOT going to be lucky straight off............then I thought ...maybe he has someone he meets there.......he already has his "casual" woman there.......wanted to know how YOU perceived a situation like that if he brought someone home while he was there....?....so many possibilities if you let your mind wander baby........let's just take it a day at a time.........stop trying to analyse this guy until he makes a direct move or comment to you to confirm or deny what we are assuming...
Dee: yeah..... I'm just gonna have to be cautious with every move he makes.... I can easily be "standoffish" with him but still be nuetral.... know what i mean??
Lyn: yeah I do .....he also knows you can go to the Police........he has to be careful
Dee: yep.... I mean his last words to me when I was in my car and I handed him my phone number was.... I'd like to find a girlfriend.... And from there I said well, you can try a bar? LOL... but he said he doesn't like bars... but I think he's been looking at personals in the newspapers too...
Lyn: yeah.......I think he understands he hasn't a shot in hades with you....US......so he'll get you in there.....all above board.....and keep looking for a girlfriend.....in the meantime he has you to look after the place.....and to talk to when he's there....but knows he won't be taking it further......that's what I really hope anyway........but yeah....I spent some time lying there last nite thinking about it......
Dee: yeah... and like I mentioned on the forum.. I still have a couple months yet and while I'm waiting for my lease to end... befriend him.. get a better feel for him and see if he keeps on asking "questions".. I don't mind a few here and there but if I have to answer them everyday or every time we meet... then I'll have to put up a red flag...
Lyn: yeah....I thought of that too
Dee: be upfront with him and tell him that I'm getting uncomfortable with it... or ask him straight up... what are your intentions? Do you really want ME to move in or are you really looking for a companion???
Lyn: yeah...but give it time baby.......wait and see......this is ideal for you rent wise......you need it too
Dee: yeah I do....
Lyn: but if you feel threatened or uncomfortable......think before committing.......I just want you to be safe for the 5 or so weeks before I get there.......when I do....we can both handle him ...I have no doubt about that

[Ben Kessler]

Bullhead City sounds like my kind of place! I've always dreamed of a town where I could fulfill my dream of shambling on the sidewalk in the afternoon clad only in ill-fitting, colorfully stained jeans, while clutching a bottle of cheap whiskey sheathed in a paper bag and grumbling about the government.

On the serious tip...Maybe I've just heard a few too many nightmare-roommate stories here in NYC, but it sounds to me like you should steer clear of this aging gentleman. Keep your options open...

[DonnaL]

Bullhead City sounds like my kind of place! I've always dreamed of a town where I could fulfill my dream of shambling on the sidewalk in the afternoon clad only in ill-fitting, colorfully stained jeans, while clutching a bottle of cheap whiskey sheathed in a paper bag and grumbling about the government.

On the serious tip...Maybe I've just heard a few too many nightmare-roommate stories here in NYC, but it sounds to me like you should steer clear of this aging gentleman. Keep your options open...

Ben Kessler? COME ON DOWN!!!

[Ben Kessler]

Awesome!

[GraphixNPrint]

Ben Kessler? COME ON DOWN!!!

Ben, stay away from my shopping cart and bridge, I laid claim on those days ago! :p

[urstwile]

While I agree with everyone's comments so far, is it possible that he has the view that lesbians (and gay people in general) are ravening casual sex maniacs unable to form committed relationships, and thus is asking you questions from that level of concern?

Ultimately though, you need to do what you need to do to feel safe. Your girlfriend makes some good points, but if you're going to be uncomfortable for 5 weeks until she gets there it might not be worth it.

[DonnaL]

I dont' think I'll feel completely uncomfortable but I will be watching what I say and watching his every move... might even make myself scarce when he comes home on the weekends... easy enough to do I suppose...

[Ben Kessler]

Relax, Graphix. I'm sure Bullhead City is full of picturesque places that derelicts like us can call home.

[morea]

While I agree with everyone's comments so far, is it possible that he has the view that lesbians (and gay people in general) are ravening casual sex maniacs unable to form committed relationships, and thus is asking you questions from that level of concern?

I had thought about that too, until I read that the last thing he said to Donna was that he 'really needed a girlfriend'. That statement, in that context, gave me the squirming heebie-jeebies.

[morea]

not to harp on this (sorry Donna!) but I really get a bad vibe from this situation.

I am sure that you are perfectly capable of fending this guy off in a verbal situation, and probably in a battle of wits, too... but you don't really know him very well. He could be the kind of guy who gets drunk and forces himself on people. Aren't most cases of rape and murder perpetrated by someone the victim knows?

The big red flag - to me - is that it sounds like this guy isn't taking "no" for an answer. He figures that maybe if he words the question differently, or if he tells you how lonely he is, or if he gets you alone, he might be able to convince you to change your mind about the 'commitment' you've made to your gf. His pursuit of that line of questioning, and then telling you how much he wishes that he had a girlfriend seems really creepy.

I'd look into other options, personally... have you considered checking out hostels or other places that might offer room and board? (How does the YMCA/YWCA work? It might be worth looking into that.)

I can certainly sympathize with funds being short, but there's got to be someplace you can stay without compromising your safety. :(

[Virgo Nightingale]

If he was asking that question in an attempt to guage the number of visitors you'd have...

I can understand his wariness about there being many strangers (aka casual sex partners) going in and out. That's a valid concern on the part of the landlord; he just wants to protect his property.

The way he brought it up however, was inappropriate and inexcusable. Your sexual practices are noone's business but your own and who you have sex with. If he was concerned about throngs of people going in and out, he should have asked if you plan to do a lot of entertaining at home, or simply stated that he doesn't appreciate when his tenants have a multitude of visitors. There's no excuse for delving into the personal and intimate details of your life. He has no right to do so.

If I were you, I wouldn't take the place. I would never feel comfortable enough to ever take my clothes off, I'd be too worried about hidden cameras (a little paranoid? perhaps; totally irrational? not entirely, these things do happen). And I would tell him exactly why: you were very put off with his questioning of your personal sexual life and would never feel comfortable there.

[Ben Kessler]

Morea and Virgo, I'm with you guys. To be honest, I think it's likely that this guy is just a harmless perv, but why run the risk? A lot of things can happen in five weeks, and I've heard many stories of people whose roommates promised never to be around but were constantly at home.

[captain spanky]

it's easy for a bunch of us on teh intarnets to speculate about whether this guy is a lonely nice guy or a freakysexfiend... we have no idea how the guy came across in 'real life'... I say a bunches of stuff all the time that could be construed as really bad if it was typed on a screen with no obvious tone of voice, but which actually is a jovial bit of banter... only Donna can tell if this guy is being genuine..or if he is as fake as a thai he/she's bald man in a boat.
I think common sense should prevail here... if he gives cause to feel unsettled, use caution and try and find somewhere better. :)

[DonnaL]

Ok, well he did ask me if I was a neat person... he didn't ask me if I was a party person. He does know I work full-time and do schooling online, because I mentioned that I needed an internet connection.

But he never asked me if I invited people over. Perhaps I should turn around and ask him questions? Maybe put the ball back in my court?

[DonnaL]

Oh and as for trying to stay at the "Y".... that would be fine for me, I suppose... but I have a small dog and then my gf will be coming here for 3 months...

I'm gonna look into some cheap motels with internet access, small dogs welcome, type places... but as I mentioned earlier, Bullhead is sleezy... I might be amongst a bunch of other sleezy guests. Sleezy hotels tho, gross me out too...

I'm in a pickle huh?

[darlinglauren]

Hi there, I don't think I've ever posted on GDF, but I've been a lurker for a loooong time, even before I signed up. Anyway, this topic really caught my attention and after reading it, I have to respond.

The book someone referred to earlier is called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. It sounds like the book anyway. I highly recommend it to anyone. I'm an in house graphic designer and freelance writer, designer and illustrator, but I also have devoted 10+ years to the study and teaching of self-defense, particularly to women.

My advice: trust your gut. Try not to justify the situation, just really think about the situation and potential problems and drama that can arise. Hey, if you think you can handle it, fine, but make sure you are going into it only after asking him lots of questions and making sure he is aware that people know you are there while making sure other people really do know you are there, which includes giving as much information about him and the address as possible to seevral people. If he's uncomfortable with all of the questions and doesn't want you there because of that, then that helps with your question. Otherwise, if he is legitimate and not hoping to convince you to have a relationship of some sort with him in the future, he should understand how important it is to know more about a situation, particularly one involving a stranger, before you get in it.

I have been in a similar situation and it turned out all right. I currently rent out a room in a house in expensive Orange County, CA-no lease, month-to-month, etc. The guy I room with and rent from is in his late 60s and a perv, definitely. He was looking specifically for a professional, single young woman to move in-supposedly because women are "cleaner" and he didn't want a couple moving in. Valid, but unlikely. He liked to tell me stories about girls he's dated, how he likes to date younger women, his escapades with secretaries and moments in life as a sugar daddy, also mentioning friends of his in those kind of situations. He would never directly ask me to do anything or if I would do anything, though; he's more of a passive sort that tries to get me to bring something up based on his prodding, because he does this with all sorts of things. If someone isn't direct, though, I tend to ignore it, which I did in these cases. Like you, I would give him suggestions where to look for gilrs or maybe talk about my preferences in life and how the thought of being with a guy even 10 years older was pushing it, let alone 50 years, but that was in reference to a discussion of one of his friends who "took care of" two young women.

Other than passive offers for me to be some kind of eye candy to something he's going to-something I also get out of-he's stopped doing it and is now obsessed with finding women to date on places like Craig's List and singlesnet. I knew I could handle him and while I started off paranoid about hidden cameras and things like that, by being strong in demeanor and attitude toward the whole thing, it's turned out all right and he's turned out to be harmless. I never got a bad or even uneasy gut reaction from him, though, maybe because he tried to gage me in a more offhand-albeit still awkward-manner. Be aware of any uncomfortable feelings you have.

And speaking of Craig's List or something, have you tried to do any kind of internet searches looking specifically for rooms to rent? Not everyone out there is a perv and there are always options. I mention Craig's List, because I know they specifically have a section for renting rooms and maybe you can look in areas that may not be right where you're already living, but still drivable as far as work is concerned. I know people who advertise for things like that and I think they're non perverted people, as far as I'm aware anyway, so I'm sure non crazies exist on the site. Will your girlfriend be able to help with any kind of payments so perhaps you two can move onto a different situation, or even a hotel or hostel, for the remaining time?

Sorry for the long post (one of the reasons I don't tend to post; I get long-winded sometimes in my love of writing:)). Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for you. Trust your instincts!

[urstwile]

Great post, darlinglauren, you raised many good points. :)

Welcome to GDF, by the way.

[frankster]

He liked to tell me stories about girls he's dated, how he likes to date younger women, his escapades with secretaries and moments in life as a sugar daddy, also mentioning friends of his in those kind of situations. He would never directly ask me to do anything or if I would do anything, though; he's more of a passive sort that tries to get me to bring something up based on his prodding, because he does this with all sorts of things.

I had a very inappropriate employer like this that I left a job because of. I avoid these particular types of older men like the plague. After leaving the job, several business assiciates of that company revealed that he had spoken innapropriately to them about both myself and another female employee during business meetings!! Disgusting behaviour both socially and even worse in a business environment.

I hope you find somewhere to live that you can feel comfortable.

[DonnaL]

Wow!! Very interesting to say the least! Thanks for posting Lauren....
I haven't heard from him since I posted this... and I've written down a bunch of hotels/motels to call...

Yes.. my gf will help me out as much as she can, it'll be tight, which is why I'm trying to find something extremely inexpensive... since it'll be only my income, she'll try to help with rent but whatever money she has will also be going towards my flight out... and she will be supporting me until my Visa is finalized in Australia since I can't work while I"m there... not yet.

I'll pass your post along to her to see what her comments are....

[darlinglauren]

Thank you:) We'll see if I can post semi-regularly now that I've started:D

[DonnaL]

Don't feel bad about not posting Lauren, I've been a member for nearly 4 years...... and I'm only at 250 posts...... I lurk a lot too.... <blush!>

[D-Frag]

i get a bad vibe too, and donna if you are really that desperate I know of plenty of gay friendly people who are looking for roomates. let me know if i can help you out in anyway since im in the same state

[DonnaL]

OHH thanks D-Frag.... I can't drive far... if you've seen one of my other posts.. my car is on it's last leg and refuse to have the repairs needed to keep it running. Another reason why I was kinda hoping for this place.. it's a mile from work and I can buy a cheap bike at Wal-fart or K-fart and peddle... peddle... peddle
LOL!!

If you know anyone in Laughlin or Bullhead.... it would be great if you could relay the message??? My lease ends Dec. 22nd.

[D-Frag]

wow we have a laughlin here in AZ? haha, news to me. Ill ask around but your kinda in the boonies. I don't know if your confortable with "Ravers" at all, but I know of plenty looking for roomies and although they are kinda cooky they are an exceptional "open" bunch that don't criticize or judge others so its a nice living environment.

ill ask around and get back to you. if you wanna pm maybe a mapquest of the general area you are in I will see if anyone pops up on the radar so to speak.

[DonnaL]

wow we have a laughlin here in AZ?
OHHH that's Nevada! DOH!!! LOL...... Hey that'll work too!

[D-Frag]

i tried to PM you but it says your not accepting PM's, so here is my reply...

holy carp, you are very very far away.... ummm, don't know if I know of anyone in bullhead/laughlin area. your barely in AZ girl, haha. ill still ask around but I don't think I even know of anyone out that way.

[DonnaL]

OHHH am I??? Oh well.... <hugs> for the thought!!

I'll figure somptin out.... but everyone here has been very helpful!!

so...........


HUGS for ALL!

[morea]

yay for free hugs! :D

[DonnaL]

Ok...... just got a phone call from this guy... wants to meet with me next Monday night after work... to introduce our dogs to make sure they get along. So here's my chance to reverse the situation a little? yeah?

What should I look out for in terms of his questions and what questions should I ask him?

*might not be able to reply straight away - at work*

[GraphixNPrint]

I would be blunt; "After our initial meeting I have a couple of concerns. First, I am in a committed relationship, if this will pose a problem please let me know now. I am wanting to find a decent place to live without complications, and I would think you are looking for a responsible person to assist with your expenses here, so if this is a good arrangement we will be ok. As you know my girlfreind will be staying with me for a few months; I also want to be assured this will not be an issue."

See what he says.

[DonnaL]

*takes out notepad*

Thanks Graphix.....

[Ben Kessler]

I forgot to say before that I have actually been in situations similar to this one. I move into a place with a female roommate, and before I can even unpack the woman tries to git with me. My solution has always been to play En Vogue's early-90s hit "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" for the heartbroken roomie. To the En Vogue accompaniment, I do a feisty dance with a lot of finger-wagging and head-shaking. By the end of the song, the unwanted attraction always disappears completely. I guess great music has that effect on people. :)

[Kool]

^^^ http://koolsplace.com/images/icon_rofl.gif

[morea]

lol, Ben... you crack me up. :D

[CkretAjint]

haha... you guys and gals are to much.

Best of luck with the situation Donna! I know how rough it is living with crappy roommates and landlords!!!

[DonnaL]

thankies!!

I'll keep ya'll posted....