Internship coming to an end-need some advice

[teniworks]

I started an internship at an ad agency in September and it is coming to an end in Dec. Two weeks ago I had my review with the boss and the Acct. Director and it was probably one of the most intimidating experiences of my life. The first question that the boss asked me was "what do you think you are doing wrong?" Next was, "what do you think you do well?" What comes out of my mouth is something between mush and baby garble. I am not good at answering questions like that at all and it probably didn't help that 1) I felt outnumbered and 2) was sitting under hot lights. Anyway, I answered the questions to the best of my ability and we all agreed on a lot of the things I said I needed to work on. Then I was asked if I knew what I was going to do next (freelance, look for a design firm, stay there, etc.). Since, I told them I wanted to stay the boss strongly suggested that I check in with them every week until the end of my internship for a review of my "progress" and meet with them the day before my last day to see if there is a "position available". I hate being left in suspense. So my question is: Should I start looking for another job now or wait until they let me know what's up? Then if they happen to offer me a job do I really want to stay? I know the knowledge I would get from working there would be immense but, the boss is very...demanding. She screams, curses, and throws tantrums but, has been in the business for 20+ years and knows a good deal. I guess there is the fear of missing out on something or not having a chance like this again.

[budafist]

I hope you have written down all the things you need to work on to improve and make yourself un-let-go-able in their eyes. The review with boss and the Acct. Director should be looked at as a positive experience where you get to learn about yourself and present yourself. Don't be afraid to ask questions about how you are doing and what you can do to improve. Set goals.

Every week write down what you think you need to do to reach these points so that you can memorise them and tell them at your weekly reviews.

It's a good idea to have a look and apply for jobs also. Even if you do end up staying, at least you have brushed up your portfolio and have a good idea of the current market. That can help you if they offer you a job.

A demanding boss is a good thing for an intern. It's better to have a demanding boss while you are learning than one that lets you run astray. If you get upset about it, just watch the world news at the end of the day. It really puts things into perspective.

It does for me anyway. Bad day at work? Watch the news! Look at how many people died horrible deaths today! Wow! I've got problems at all! ;)

[Drazan]

Based on what you wrote, it would seem that they like what you are doing and want you to apply yourself over the next few weeks to improving your problem areas.

On the personal side - DO you want to work for them as an employee and not an intern? You'll probably have more demands on you as an employee, can you handle that? Can you handle her directing a Tantrum towards you if you screw up? Is the money and possible position acceptable stepping stone in your career?

Are there other design positions in your area? How competitive is the job market? Are you confident in yourself and your portfolio that you can apply to the other places?

Never take the fear of "What if..." stopping you from doing something. Lordy, the stories I could tell by throughing "what if" to the wind and diving in with booth feet. I must say though, most times were well worth it.

And if you are not comfortable being in the interview then that will also reflect on the employers choice if they want to hire a toungue-tied nervous person - because they will be sending you on first contacts with clients and don't want their designer to come across as a nervous toungue-tied, non-confident person. Unless you are interviewing for a position that requires little interaction with the client, public speaking goes a long way.

Jade

[teniworks]

I think that both comments ^ are very helpful. I'm working on the confidence issue. It seems as if I lost all of the confidence that I had the moment I hit the door of the agency. I have no idea what's happened to me. Buda, you're right, having a demanding boss has been really good as far as keeping me on my toes and making me a better designer. Whenever I feel really horrible about my days there I remind myself how bad it could be. I have to drive through some rough parts of town where there is a lot of poverty and homelessness. Drazan, I have created some good pieces to add to my portfolio and I feel much better in my abilities to create good concepts more quickly and making a real effort to work on these other issues.

[budafist]

*hugs*

That's to make up for your boss.

Better? :)

I think you will really benefit by having career goals. It will help your confidence if you visualise and then you will start to believe in what you deserve. Once that happens, then you might be better able to handle your superiors. I'm not saying to turn into a cocky, arrogant employee, but somehow I doubt that will happen here.

[mojoprime]

^^i think you should patent those, buda.

teniworks, just remember how much experience and exposure you're getting there. just being in the office is so different than the school environment; that in and of itself is worth everything you've been through.

your confidence will come back, and hopefully it'll be with a true sense of your own talent and value, and not overcompensation (read: arrogance). i seen that happen -- interns come out of an agency experience and suddenly believe they're art director material. not to say you aren't, somewhere on down the road, but in this biz you really do have to pay your dues.

and you're doing it. you'll be so much the better for it, i can't even begin to tell you. good luck!