Pineapples and Politics

[LeftBrain Artist]

This message just in from my gf

"If someone had said that the pineapple is the perfect fruit to explain politics, or would be a good analogy... I don't get it. How would you use a pineapple to explain politics? Do you get this?"

I don't get it. Its going to drive me nuts. Has anyone here ever heard of such an analogy?

[Mynock]

It works. For you LBA you don't get politics, and politics drive you nuts. For me it's like so. I know it's spikey on the outside, but I do like the insides chopped up into little pieces and served in the a think syrup. The relation is undeniable.

[MD]

Many years into the future, God layeth down his mighty robes and strapethed on his NFL foam finger. He headed to his own personal 50-yard-line seat at his own personal stadium and readied himself for an exciting week of professional football … played to his specifications, of course. On either side of him was an empty seat for whomever he deemed worthy enough to be his guests at the game.

The Lord hath just taken a rather large bite of a chili dog and wiped some dribbling cheese whiz from his chin when the spirit of Peyton Manning came walking down the concourse.

“Do you mind if I sit with you God?” Peyton asked, sort of confused.

“Well, my son,” said God mildly, “What do you think it is that makes you worthy of such a seat?”

“Uhh … well, during my career I played football like a warrior. I ignored injuries, I lifted my teammates and I always thanked the guys around me for allowing me to have so much success on the playing field.”

“Hmm,” God responded, “It sure seems like you’ve made your contribution. Please, have a seat on my right.”
Peyton obliged and began enjoying the game from the best seats in the house. A few moments later, as God and Peyton Manning shared a pile of spicy nachos, another spirit made his way down the concourse.

“Is this seat taken,” asked Tony Romo with a smile.

“Well, my son,” said God gently, “It is not taken as of yet. However, it is reserved for someone most worthy. Do you think you are that man?”

“I’d have to say that I am,” Romo claimed. “For one, I always made it a point to treat the game like a game and have fun with it. But, at the same time, I remembered that my teammates and my city were counting on me, and I made sure to take it seriously as well. I think I was able to find the perfect balance.”

“That is quite an accomplishment,” said God with a grin, “I believe you are the man to take the seat at my left.” Romo took his seat and snagged a stray nacho from the plastic tray, and the three miracle men took in the sights and sounds of barbaric poetry ringing from their private playing surface.

They were silent in their observations for a long while, until something from the stands caught their attention. This time, it was the spirit of Brett Favre who was making his way down the steps. There was an awkward moment of silence as the two legendary spectators, and the Lord, glanced nervously from Favre to the row of occupied seats and back at Favre again. They simply had nowhere to put him.

But that didn’t matter much, because Brett had no intention of missing the game. Instead, he looked God directly in the eyes and, with a sly grin, said, “Hey buddy, I think you’re in my seat.”

[MD]

To answer your question could it be that a pineapple like a politician has a tough outer skin that prevents it's core from being corrupted?

[LeftBrain Artist]

I think you're right, its got something to do with the tough outer skin. But this is what I told her;

Pineapples are yellow on the inside, the Yellow River is in China, the Chinese have dragons in their parade, dragons have scales, scales measure weights, weights like you find in a health club, clubs are used by crooks to beat you up and take your money, just like politicians take your money.

[morea]

a google search revealed a reference to the movie "Little Nicky" and a joke therein about hell and Hitler's daily rectal pineapple fittings.

Does that help?

[LeftBrain Artist]

Nope. Don't help at all.

Do pineapples refuse to answer any direct questions, instead saying "I'm glad you asked that question,...." and then they don't answer that question but instead give you a response from one of their three or four rehearsed talking points?

Or at some point recently did the major pharmaceutical companies invest large amounts of money in pineapple plantations?

[Mynock]

They both start with the letter "p"!

[morea]

Nope. Don't help at all.

I might remind you that Hitler was a political figure, and that most politicians seem to behave in a way that indicates that they may, in fact, have something lodged firmly into place in that general anatomical area.

NOW does it help? :p

[LeftBrain Artist]

Good idears, all of yous, but an analogy usually means you're comparing one thing to another. So I'm trying to figure what qualities a pineapple might have that are similar to politics, and by politics I'm assuming they mean the general phenomenon of political machinations, and not particular individuals.

Oo. Just had a revelation. Politics are like pineapples because they're hard to get into, but once your in, its pretty sweet.

Does that work?

[Mynock]

Good idears, all of yous, but an analogy usually means you're comparing one thing to another. So I'm trying to figure what qualities a pineapple might have that are similar to politics, and by politics I'm assuming they mean the general phenomenon of political machinations, and not particular individuals.

Oo. Just had a revelation. Politics are like pineapples because they're hard to get into, but once your in, its pretty sweet.

Does that work?I like it, but wouldn't coconut be a better analogy along those lines?

[morea]

Perhaps if you had two empty halves of coconuts and were banging them together?

[LeftBrain Artist]

I like it, but wouldn't coconut be a better analogy along those lines?

Shonuff. Or an africanized bee-hive.

[GraphixNPrint]

I hate when people use the word analogy ... sounds like a rectal disorder! :p

[frankster]

Shonuff. Or an africanized bee-hive.

African or European bee-hive?

[LeftBrain Artist]

Perhaps if you had two empty halves of coconuts and were banging them together?

Where would you get the coconuts from?



Wait for it.

[LeftBrain Artist]

I hate when people use the word analogy ... sounds like a rectal disorder! :p


I hate when people use the words rectal disorder ... sounds like an analogy.

[Red Kittie Kat]

lmaooo LBA :D

[balou]

A google image search turned up this on deviant art (http://yuliya.deviantart.com/art/Pineapple-Politician-equals-38392342)...but it's appropriate I guess. It also included some reference to Bob Dole...Dole...pineapple...

http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/6789/pineapplecg1.png (http://imageshack.us)

[balou]

But why don't we just ask the pineapple?

http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/5551/pineapplehead7ml6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[morea]

http://i14.tinypic.com/4qd4l0o.gif

[balou]

sidetrack: that pineapple head image came from this site...

http://www.tableheads.com/

Apparently they hire out as entertainment!

Interviewer: Tell us about some major accomplishments in your last position?
Interviewee: I worked hard and was promoted as head melonhead.

[Navian]

It is probably better than asking an artichoke Morea.

[morea]

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c343/gdfmorea/silly%20things/eek.jpg




*thud*

[PrintDriver]

Politics like Pineapple because
you have to cut off the bullshit to get to the real truth? or
Pineapples symbolize 'welcome' as in "yer welcome to it"? or
to get to the core of the matter you need to get through the spin(es)? or
if you get to the core of the matter you find it was all sugarcoated?

PD should not post when toasted...:P