Need feedback for collage

[TeeJay!]

Hi!
I am currently making a sort of collage in Illustrator for a competition. I first came up with a sort of "disco"-composition:
http://bildr.no/image/145156.jpeg

But recently I have become more influenced by simple 3D-shapes, and especially "game-stuff":

http://bildr.no/image/145151.jpeg

Does anyone have any ideas of some cool collage to make of these elements? I'm really in the need of some advice on what to continue working with. What more can I add to the first collage?

Thanks a lot!

[PrintDriver]

If you win a competition with our input, do we get part of the prize? :D

You can post work here for critique, but don't expect us to come up with ideas for you. That's your job.

What are the specifications of the competition?

[TeeJay!]

If you win a competition with our input, do we get part of the prize? :D

You can post work here for critique, but don't expect us to come up with ideas for you. That's your job.

What are the specifications of the competition?

Haha.. well actually the competition does'nt have any money-prize. I don't really know how to explain. It is something we here in Norway call "Ungdommens kulturmønstring" or "Youth's cultural exhibition". There is first a local exhibition, and the winners come to an regional exhibition, and the best come to the national. The competition is VERY free. You can do almost everything here. Both performing arts and visual arts. I am hoping to come to the national exhibition. Haven't really seen any vector-graphic works before, as this is an annual thing here in Norway.

BUT: if I will, I will definatly let you all know, and post pictures from the exhibitions and stuff=) Would have shared if it was a money-prize!

[budafist]

Is this an exhibition or a competition?

Is this an entry to get into the exhibition? Or is this a competition for graphics to be used to advertise an exhibition?

My head hurts.

[TeeJay!]

I am sorry I did not make me clear; this "Youth's culture exhibition" is a place where everyone can attend. You just sign up, and if you play in a rock band, dance, act or whatever, you show your performance on a stage. Others that like photography, can sign up to get their pictures exhibited. Then a jury desides what contributitions will come to the next round - the regional exhibition. I realize that exhibition might not be the right word for it, I'm sorry for my language.

This thing I end up making WILL be exhibited here. If the jury likes it, I come to the regional thingy, and if they like it there, I come to the national.

Hope this made it a bit clearer. Or maybe more confusing?

[budafist]

I get it now. :)

This is an art piece for an exhibition at a youth culture expo.

Well, since there is no brief, it's hard to say whether or not you have achieved what you set out to achieve.

[TeeJay!]

Yeah. Thanks for understanding! Well... What I was looking for was what parts that are good and what can be tweaked. I am also in the market for some suggestions to other elements I can add to the collage. There is no right or wrong here, I just need critique. Thanks:)

[Crimson]

My suggestion is change your perspective. The first illy is looking down and that makes it flat. The second are just random 3-D images. I would get out your pencil and sketch more freely without the computer influence to shake your creative leg...

[TeeJay!]

My suggestion is change your perspective. The first illy is looking down and that makes it flat. The second are just random 3-D images. I would get out your pencil and sketch more freely without the computer influence to shake your creative leg...

Thanks for your comment. I will certainly look into the perspective-issue, as I really agree with that the "disco" looks way to flat. I guess I simply have to start drawing some sketches. I really suck at drawing, but it is indeed a better way to get the ideas down quickly, rather than spending hours on perfection on the computer. That beeing said, I don't really have a plan on what the result is going to be.. but time will show. I'll update this post with new stuff when I have time to work with it.

[TeeJay!]

Finally I had some time to work on the project. For some reason I dropped the drawing by hand, and started right into Illy. I figured it would be nice with some more perspective, and so I made a turntable, a mixer and a DJ-dude. Can this be a better aproach? It has to be done in a week or so, but I think this is getting a lot better now with more 3D-look. It is still to empty, though. Any ideas on other elements to add? A sillouette crowd in front? A discoball? Loudspeakers? Maybe some text?

Appreciate comments!

http://bildr.no/image/150183.jpeg

http://bildr.no/image/150184.jpeg

[TeeJay!]

This might be the final product. I have been working a bit with colors and elements to add, and feel like it is something like I was hoping for at the beginning. Of course this could as well be sort of a poster for a Disco or something, but I think it is okay as it is. Still I am very open for comments. Is there something I should add or remove? Something that needs to be changed? Again this is a very open "contest" so there is no right or wrong here.

Appreciate comments and critique!
Thanks
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii280/TeeJay89/Bilde8.png

[budafist]

Why do the dancers look like normal people but the dj has a big egg head?

Is there a reason for DJ Egghead?

[TeeJay!]

Why do the dancers look like normal people but the dj has a big egg head?

Is there a reason for DJ Egghead?

Well... not really. The dancers are stock vectors from iStock but the DJ I made myself. You think I should make him look like a human too? The DJ is a contrast in both color and shape. I somehow think of him as different than the dancers, but I am sure I could try making him more realistic... Thanks for the comment=)

[Ned]

You could make the DJ more humanlike, yes, but I would suggest going the other way and turning the dancers into eggheads (or some other form of stylization). You need to give everything a consistent style. The stock vector art doesn't have a real style of its own. It's generic and overused. You want a style which is unique and your own.

[budafist]

Ned is right, the istockphoto pics are generic and overused. As a art piece you should create something unique.

[TeeJay!]

You could make the DJ more humanlike, yes, but I would suggest going the other way and turning the dancers into eggheads (or some other form of stylization). You need to give everything a consistent style. The stock vector art doesn't have a real style of its own. It's generic and overused. You want a style which is unique and your own.

That could indeed be an exciting approach. The problem is however that I suck in drawing. You might already have noticed. I agree in that I should have my own style. I have made everything else in the collage by myself and should probably make the dancers myself as well. I think I am gonna try to make 2 new designs; one with human DJ and one with Egghead dancers. I'll post when I have time to work on it.

Thanks for your comment!

[TeeJay!]

Ned is right, the istockphoto pics are generic and overused. As a art piece you should create something unique.
Point taken!

[tZ]

If you suck at drawing than bezier curves isn't going to make life easier. Each piece is though becoming incrementally more successful despite the problems.

[TeeJay!]

I have gone totally away from my first idea, since I felt that it had no message. It was just... some graphics for a poster or something. I chose to rather make a "comment" to the greenhouse effect. This is something totally different than the first art piece, but I thought I should keep it in the same thread. It has to be done by tomorrow, so any quick responses?
Hope you like it=)


http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii280/TeeJay89/Bilde1.png
(http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/forum/%3Ca%20href=%22http://s266.photobucket.com/albums/ii280/TeeJay89/?action=view&current=Bilde1.png%22%20target=%22_blank%22%3E%3Ci mg%20src=%22http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii280/TeeJay89/Bilde1.png%22%20border=%220%22%20alt=%22Photobucke t%22%3E%3C/a%3E)

[Typically]

there are some vertical white lines in the sun and part of the globe. not sure if they are supposed to be there. the suns blur doesn't blend into the black smoothly. for the word WATER try using hand written text since its crossed out like a person corrected it. the gradient on the red part of the snow globe looks flat. try adding some shading on the opposite side not just adding highlights.

[TeeJay!]

The lines arent there in the document. Dont know why they show up. Will certainly make some more "handwritten" text. Wil also add some shading. Thanks a lot for commenting=)
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii280/TeeJay89/Bilde2.png