rough brochure concept - suggestions?

[carolyn]

this brochure is kind of a "company growth" thing, showing the partnership between a real estate firm, a title agency and a mortgage company. so basically now when you have a transaction with us you can take care of everything involved in buying or selling real estate, all in one office. they specifically wanted a tree, showing the 3 logos branching off of it. and on the inside they wanted a branch connecting the 3 logos, with each company's info in each panel. now since there is so much info to cover, i didn't really have room for any pictures or anything interesting on the inside.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/leaksmoke/front.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/leaksmoke/inside.jpg

i plan on fixing the drop shadows on the maps, and editing all of the text on the inside (word breaks, spacing and overall layout). i kind of just threw the inside page together since i spent the most time on the front panel drawing the tree. so a lot will get changed on the inside panel but i'd love any suggestions you all may have so far. thanks :)

[CkretAjint]

Instead of the top of a tree and the companies on the branches I would show them in the roots growing into 1 strong tree. It is 3 becoming 1, not 1 becoming 3...

I know it's a rough, but there a BUNCH of hyphenations and widows.

[carolyn]

I know it's a rough, but there a BUNCH of hyphenations and widows.
did you seriously just disregard my text disclaimer?

here it is one more time:

i plan on editing all of the text on the inside (word breaks, spacing and overall layout).

[Two-Toe Tom]

for the cover, i'd put the text after the tree, maybe in the bottom right corner. right now the hierarchy is kinda confusing on what should be read/seen first.

i was gonna comment on your text as well cuz i don't read stuff, just look at pictures, so its good that you bolded that disclaimer again :p

[datswhutsup]

i would change the font for the body copy to a serif. if you use a sans serif, definitely use a more elegant sans serif.

everything else is nice.

good luck!

[Danger_Mouse]

I like the Branches idea.

I see what Ckret is saying on the roots and branches, but feel its better as it is. I mean it still works showing they work together for a stronger whole blah blah blah etc etc...., and branches are pertier than roots.

The logos though, seem a little lost on those branches...I'll have to think on it before I offer suggestions...just in here on a quick break.

[carolyn]

The logos though, seem a little lost on those branches...
i agree... my first version had no gray branch florishes at all, just the black tree and the logos, but that seemed soooo boring. but then adding the extra branches does overpower the logos i agree. not quite sure where the happy medium is yet.

[PrintDriver]

I do have to comment on the text layout but only to say I hope you aren't gonna used forced justification when you do it for real. Yech.

[carolyn]

i'm not going to lie to you, i am a fan of forced justification (aah!) as long as there are no hypenations or oddly tracked lines i think it looks nice and clean. is that terrible?

[mojoprime]

mostly from a readability standpoint, forced justification often looks, well, forced. if not done just right, adding in white space, it can look visually cramped and claustrophobic. i mean, our whole point is to get the reader to actually read the copy, so make it as easy for them to find an entrypoint into the document and text. ragged-right is more reader-friendly on wider columns, and by definition adds air and vareity into the text.

one of the hardest things we have to deal with is that even if we like something, it might not be best for either the reader or the piece in general. and that's to hammer your love of forced-justification, but it might be worth revisiting before you've finalized the layout.

[Blazer]

I like your rough concept and I'm sure this is what your higher-ups were looking for! I do agree however that the logos on the tree branches are somewhat lost and I'm not so sure how to 'fix' that just yet... When you quick glance at the front, I'm afraid the tree trunk stands out more and is the first thing my eyes are drawn to - a logo is not readily visible that I can recognize. I'm also curious if you'll be leaving the text in a sans serif font or will go with a serif? Good luck...I look forward to seeing how this morphs! :o)

[Maker]

need more color. black text on white stock is... the least you can do? Is it part of the design spec or could you inject a background color and make the tree, text and other elements a darker corresponding color?

I like justified text, when done right, I'll reserve judgement till the final pressing.

[carolyn]

mostly from a readability standpoint, forced justification often looks, well, forced. if not done just right, adding in white space, it can look visually cramped and claustrophobic. i mean, our whole point is to get the reader to actually read the copy, so make it as easy for them to find an entrypoint into the document and text. ragged-right is more reader-friendly on wider columns, and by definition adds air and vareity into the text.

one of the hardest things we have to deal with is that even if we like something, it might not be best for either the reader or the piece in general. and that's to hammer your love of forced-justification, but it might be worth revisiting before you've finalized the layout.
i actually went back and changed all of the text and agree it does look and feel better left justified. maybe i don't love forced justification as much as i thought i did :D

I like your rough concept and I'm sure this is what your higher-ups were looking for! I do agree however that the logos on the tree branches are somewhat lost and I'm not so sure how to 'fix' that just yet... When you quick glance at the front, I'm afraid the tree trunk stands out more and is the first thing my eyes are drawn to - a logo is not readily visible that I can recognize. I'm also curious if you'll be leaving the text in a sans serif font or will go with a serif? Good luck...I look forward to seeing how this morphs! :o)
not sure about the text yet... i usually only mix serif and sans serif fonts if the title is a heavy serif font and the body is a simple sans serif. but i suppose i could try reversing this rule. hmm.

[carolyn]

better or worse:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/leaksmoke/inside2.jpg

i was thinking if the middle company had a list of services as well, i could do a solid gray branchy box flowing from one side to the other including everyone's services. i don't know if that will happen, but it might look cool.

[Danger_Mouse]

Agree this piece needs more color thoughout to balance out. Logos seem to be the only ones with color and its throwing off the whole piece.

[carolyn]

well the majority of these brochures will be printed in black and white. like, tens of thousands. so they don't really want to pay for color on that many brochures. once i make the black and white version work i'll experiment more with color.

[Danger_Mouse]

^ ah, well the color in the logos threw me off. I would make them black and white to get a better feel for the look. I realize though this is the early stages.

[mojoprime]

carolyn, i think that's so much clearer! it's always good to step away from what's comfortable every now and then...(i should do it more myself... ;) )

i think you're on the right track here. i wish there were subheads in the copy to break it all up some, so it didn't seem such a huge "swath of grey."

you know, something like "What We Offer", "Our Approach" and "Our History" or something like that. it might break up the text a little more.

[budafist]

I'm really not a fan of borders in 3 panel dle brochures. Each finisher folds these things a little different and the front and back panels are always bigger than the 3rd panel so that it can fold inside comfortably. Since the creases are always going to be a little different depending on who you go to for the finishing, the borders can look really wrong when folded.

[dot]

first off, i like your branches and your tree (including the grey, which gives the image depth) although i can't argue with folks about the logos getting lost.
and i like the second version a lot better than the first. mostly because breaking it up with the grey boxes is really helpful (although again, the info about folds in different places is good to know and keep in mind).
but i have to say that i think the style of your branches/tree (which i see as fluid and fantasy-esque) really doesn't match two of the three logos (the first two seem to be making a severe, formal statement).

finally, the middle column is so text heavy that it's hard for me to read (as mojoprime alluded to already).

hope that's helpful?

i mean, i hope that's helpful! :)

[Tea]

It might look more vine like than branch like, but what create some movement through the brochure by breaking up the center panel by moving the logo and the branch down towards the middle or even the bottom. It might not look good at all, but it might create some interest and break up the heavy text. Just a thought.

[carolyn]

i agree the text is quite heavy, i did break it all up with some subheaders which i think helps a lot. i'll post up the revised version next time i'm in the office, thanks for the input everyone :)