Personal Logo Variations...critique needed

[loveWINS]

Hey everyone...I'm Jeff, I just registered. I post some over at the HOW forums, and thought I would expand a little bit. Thanks for having me.

Here I have some variations of my 'personal logo' that will influence the my personal identity, which translates into a look and feel of my printed portfolio book, resume, maybe business cards, etc.

The original has been labeled 'generic' by some individuals whom I trust very much. Note the two color separation thing going on in the original...it really has been done to death and I know better than to settle on something easy like that.

If you'll note the sketch (which is supposed to be me), I'm conflicted at the moment as whether to scrap it or not.

Basically what the sketch is supposed to communicate is personality and that I'm not 'hiding', I just haven't gotten the chance to really show what I can do, and am looking for the opportunity to do so. And it also hints at perhaps a personal style of mine, using sketchy hand-drawn things if appropriate.

I think the big thing here is, I want to push personality.

So what I'm asking from you kind folks is your opinion on whether this little sketch I've got is working (conceptually and execution-wise) at all in any of the variations I've got.

In the ones where I've ditched the sketch, I wanted to do something interesting to the type, something hand-drawn since it's something I display in some of my work. These are sitting ok with me right now. I do like the way it looks. For now anyway...

I like the font. I do. Basic but clear.

So...any of this working? Not working?

Any feedback would be much much appreciated. Thanks!

[Tea]

I appreciate the fact you've done some original work and several versions. That being said, I'm not sure if the drawing of you conveys your intention. It looks young and innocent, but a little too timid and shy to me. If I had to choose from the above I would go with number 7.

I guess I don't know if I've seen someone use themselves in a personal logo before, so it throws me. The more I look at it though, the more it gives me a children's book feeling and I don't think that's what you were going for.

[CkretAjint]

It looks young and innocent, but a little too timid and shy to me.

Really? Looks stoned to me.... no offence ment!

[loveWINS]

A stoned child is certainly not what I was going for. hah.

Well, I'd say I'm a step closer to scrapping the sketch. Which will basically be back to the drawing board with the logo at least.

Anyone else?

[CkretAjint]

I think its the beady little clueless eyes...

What if in #7 you make the double 'f's and the double 't's taller and extend their lines across to be one line, but don't squish or cut into the 'burne'

Make sense?

[loveWINS]

Yeah, definetely makes sense. I'm leaning towards 4, 6, and 8. I like the way the sketchy elements contrast the nice clean outlined text.

[NTLemon]

I like the hand drawn sketch idea but not necessarily that particular sketch.

I think a variation on 7, 8, or the original would be good but I would probably stay away from a portrait in the logo, especially because so much can be read into it and the expression is hard to control what you want it to convey.

[nicholaspaul]

I think everyone else is right. Drop the sketch. Leave that stuff to your portfolio. Give people a reason to be curious. Don't spoil the joke and give them everything at once.
I liked #8. I'd work on an entirely hand drawn card. Draw all the type and see if it has the personality you're looking for.

[loveWINS]

Thanks a lot everyone. I thought about trying some hand-rendered type, at least for the logo. I'll post anything of interest.

[budafist]

Yes, I would certainly try tracing the existing text in pen or pencil I don't like the doodling on top of the computer generated text.

[odizzle]

this logo reminds me of demetri martin - that comic who sketches all the stuff from the daily show

[urstwile]

Brought this to mind:

http://i31.tinypic.com/33di92v.jpg

[Blazer]

Hmm, I kind of like the original concept! :) (not sure how versatile it would be?)

Does look a bit shy/timid as others have said - perhaps you could play more with the eyebrows and have the face give off a differen't vibe?

I think you've got a good eye - you'll get something to work out and I'm sure it will be fabulous!

[loveWINS]

Ok, haven't gone the hand-rendered direction just yet, but I've expanded a little on a different version, one I took a liking to. Color is ambiguous at this point, but I like the blue. Looks like a ballpoint pen.

As you can see on 1-4-5, I left the stroke around 'jeff'. I think I like these better than 2 and 3, where I removed the stroke to just leave the freehand 'coloring'. I feel like leaving the strokes lets the sketchyness come through, but it saves it from looking too kiddish because you still have the straight lines of the stroke containing the skribbles.

Where as on 2 and 3, the skribbles come out to play a lot and maybe a little too much. I'm getting too kiddish of a vibe for my taste. Anyone else feel that way or is it just me? Version 2 is simply colored in a little more dense than 3.

I don't think 5 is any fun, but figured it couldn't hurt to see what it looked like.

And for the record, I think doing the whole tagline ('graphic designer', 'designs') with a person's name is super super cheesy and I don't think I need it (do I?), but the placement on it feels good.

Overall, I think the skribbles contrast the simple stroke around 'burnett' quite nicely. The solution plays to a style I like to use, and it has an element to it that can be carried throughout the rest of my promotional/identity pieces.

Thoughts? Thanks!