When you're unemployed, everyday is Friday

[Kool]

All you, Saturday night losers, Freelancing on the side, Dissertation writing, Bubba Ho-tep liking, Returning from away, New pants ripping, Dead beat client trashing, Yakking for 8,500 minutes, No breakfast eating, Debating the debate, Boobie island finding, Out of a job, Spreading em at a storage unit, Offended by Donald Duck, I'll flash ya if ya vote for me declaring, Skinny women, killer hooter viewing, Wall painting, New beer sampling, Breached, Kitten fans, Tiny node hating, Graphic designers!!!

Have a damn fine weekend!!! /emoticons/cheers.gif /emoticons/cheers.gif

Last weeks GDF Saturday night loser party was a big success. Should we make this a regular thing? Are there enough of us losers to make it viable? /emoticons/cool.gif


http://home.comcast.net/~rnick9/qotweek.gif
This week- Clueless clients:

Magnus said...
Yep, I just had a guy call me for a price quote on a...flyer, no wait, a newsletter.

Me: 'Ok, is it something you have on a disk that you can bring in?'

Idiot '....errrrr....I did it with Microsoft Publication.'

At this point I think to myself...wtf is microsoft publication? Here we go...

Me: 'well, that may be a problem, since we tend to stay away from Microsoft products, but if you bring it in, we can see what we can do with it.'

Idiot: 'What do you use for programs?'

Me: 'The big 3...Quark, Illustrator and Photoshop...we're also capable of outputing from pdf and we can also do In Design.'

Idiot: '...eeeeeeeeehhh....Well, how much would it cost?'

Me: 'Well, that's hard to say, it would depend if it's print ready from your disk or not, or if we have to play around with it to make it work.'

Idiot: 'Oh....well....errrr....aaaaaaaa.....'

Me: 'What size would you be looking at?'

Idiot: 'Standard Size.'

Me: 'Standard size...as in 8.5 X 11 or 8.5 X 5.5?'

Idiot: 'Uhhhh yeah, 8.5 X 11. How much would that cost?'

Me: 'Well, it is still pretty hard to give you a price, will it be full colour? Black and White, 1 or 2 colours?'

Idiot: 'heeeeeeeeeeeeee....gegegege...It's colour, how much do you think that will be?.'

At this point I'm starting to get testy...this stupid ******* doesn't realize it's kind of tough to give a price quote over the phone when the client has no idea what the specs of the job are or when we don't know what we have to do to it, or how long it will take to do.

Me: 'Look, we really need to see this job in order to get an idea of what it will cost. Do you have a printed sample?'

Idiot: 'huuuuuhhhh...uhhh....I have a printed sample, yeah. Have you ever printed any newsletters off before, what did they cost?.'

Me: 'No you f*uckhead, we just opened up yesterday, and until then we ran an illegal business importing illegal immigrants.'

That's what I wanted to say...but what I really said was:

'Um, yeah...we've ran everything from black and white to full colour, any size and everything in between that would blow your mind. However, we based their cost on a number of factors (voice hardens a bit here) that cannot be determined over the phone.'

Idiot: 'Can you just give me a ballpark number, on 50 newsletters, uhhhhhhh....4 pages?'

Me: 'Well, how much of the work will we have to do...?

Idiot: 'Well....huuuuurrrrrr...I'll supply the content, you do it.'

Me: 'Sure...one sec.'

I put the phone down, and took a deep breath. I figure cost of printing an 11X17 two sided in colour, on regular bond...say $10 to open his piece of shit disk, and another $20 for screwing around time...subject to change. And that was if the frigg'n thing would open, and we didn't have to do much to it...give me the content...haahahahah.

Me: 'Ok, ballpark cost you're looking at about $230 plus tax, based on minimal work. If we have to create the job, then it'll be more based on an hourly rate.'

Idiot: 'Oh, but I wanted a price on 100.'

Me (Thinking to myself: You said 50 you shit toothed, broken english, wierd soundmaking *******!) 'Ok, then double that for good measure!'

Idiot - Ok, so about $230...ok then.'

Me (in my best jim carrey impression) 'Ok then sir, Thank you, bye bye now.' <Click>

I hope he never calls back.

morea said...
I had one client who was *completely* lost giving specs. Here's an example.

Me: ok, how many colors will be printing?
Her: it's a two color job.
Me: ok, so what colors (if they were our 'standard' colors it would cost less)
Her: blue and white
Me: but your paper is white, so that doesn't count. how many colors are in the logo?
Her: two.
Me: ok, so what is the second ink color?
Her: white

DAH!!!!
/emoticons/violent.gif

defjoe said...
I got a good one... just happened to me

just got this call from this chick.

Chick: 'I'm so and so from so and so, we want to do a banner for this conference that is coming up, this something you can do'

Me: 'Yup, no problem'

Chick: 'Is there a cost?'

Me: 'Yup, $15 a linear foot'

Chick: 'Ohhh really, wow how much is a linear foot'

Me: 'Uhhmmm... 1 foot, 12 inches'

Chick: 'Oh, wow that's a lot of money can you do less then a foot?'

Me: 'Well yeah but it's a banner, you want a banner less then a foot big'

Chick: 'Oh yeah that's right'

DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

people are completely stupid

I love children but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

LMFAO! Those quotes are the funniest quotes I've read in a long time. Have a good weekend everyone!

http://www.cbcamerica.com/images/webshots/benjobanner.jpg
Graphic Design Heroes! Call me Captain Type Caster. I’ve fought off “The Evil Cosmic Sans” for year but it seems “Dr. Extreme Untalent” keeps bringing him back. I must find a way to defeat this evil creature.

Capt. Creative bring me those comps…

[Magnus]

HAHAHAHAHA....Man, I just read defjoe's...that's the bomb!

Happy Thanksgiving all you Canucks! We get a long week-end! Whoooo hooo!

"It's not cheating if you win."

- A VERY wise person.

[morea]

Good ones Kool! I always love your friday post. Have a great weekend, everybody!

and btw, I'm sure I'll stop by on Saturday night to see if anybody else is online.

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[Drorain]

Happy friday, off all weekend down to the cape, off monday too

http://www.grivakisgraphics.com/images/img_logomark.jpg

~Everyday, All the Time, Without Fail!

[Debz]

LOL Yeah ima be a loser this weekend too!! hell im a loser every weekend and I LOVE IT!!! Ill prolly be playin CoH tho but ill check the board out.. :P

I am goin to my see bob (my ex) and gettin my car speakers outta his garage.. then goin to my boy will's house and designing a bus. cd for him and hes makin me dinner.. lol. then im in allll weekenddddddddd!!!!

BTW!!!! I owe less then 10k on my car as of 1hr ago!! woohoO!!!! :D

VERY NICE QOTW!! when i remember bout dumbass customer crap ill post it up for yalls. i get some nice things..

Oh like..

Me: 'SO do want this item printed???'

Them: ' NO I just want those lines and the Statue of Limitations stuff on there...'

Me: 'Well thats printed.. it has printing on it'

Them: 'No its not... it comes that way'

i wanna be like cuz we PRINT IT THAT WAY DUMBASS!! We also sell em withOUT printinnnn!!! rar!

people r stoo0opid

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>

[D-Zine]

HAPPY FRIDAY everyone!
Great quotes as always Kool!

Well, another week eh? Glad this one is over for me. In this week my boss has managed to find about 4 NEW things that are extremely time consuming for me to figure out HOW to do. ohh lucky me.. :o( We had a girl not show up Monday...on a deadline day, in the classifieds department. After much thought and consideration, I decided to hire my sister for the 2 day job. Would mean more money for her which means more for ME since she pays me rent and bill money every month :o)

So Kool quit his job thank GOODNESS...benjo is starting a new job - YAYAY, people are starting school...busy times!!! This weekend I have a good bit to do! Either going downtown tonight to catch the end of Oktoberfest, or hittin the movies. Tomorrow is a cookout at a friends and then Sunday I am going to work on my friends computer in Hilton Head. Poor guy - he has NO idea WTF he is doing! ROFL!

Happy weekend folks! Oh and Kool - i think the saturday night thread was alotta fun and we shoudl do it again!!

/emoticons/cheers.gif

Boobie Island or Bust!

[DeleteYourself]

Great QOTW, Kool! Enjoy your extra extended, super-long weekend! Have a great weekend, everyon!!!

/emoticons/cheers.gif

http://www.dafenix.org/todd/newsig.gif
Support Music and Arts Education | www.dafenix.org (http://www.dafenix.org) | 'You have no chance to win.' | GDF Mac Death Squad, Son

[snypa]

damn, friday already? this week went by very fast for me. tonight a friend of mine is playing a live set on the radio and i'ma go with him. the guy who hosts the show told us we can bring some drinks as long as they're in a flask or something... that should be fun!!! not much else for me this weekend. might stop by on sat. night. hope everyone has a happy weekend. as always, great quotes kool! that thread had me dying.

...and remember, tuesday is soylent green day

Oh man Happy Thanksgiving to you Canadians! I wish it was Thanks Giving already for me, ummmmmm I'm hungry.


Oh and I'm putting my second car on the road today, well tomarro but today I'm getting all my paperwork. 1993 Ford Probe got if off my sister but I think it needs some work so I'll be working on it this weekend.

Have a great week everyone!!!

http://www.cbcamerica.com/images/webshots/benjobanner.jpg
Graphic Design Heroes! Call me Captain Type Caster. I’ve fought off “The Evil Cosmic Sans” for year but it seems “Dr. Extreme Untalent” keeps bringing him back. I must find a way to defeat this evil creature.

Capt. Creative bring me those comps…

[D-Zine]

New ride for Benjo..sweet! Congrats!

Yes..Happy Thanksgiving to allour Canadian members /emoticons/cheers.gif

Boobie Island or Bust!

[defjoe]

Doing a comic show this weekend. Hope to sell a ton of issues. Also it's a Buck Rogers reunion. HA! Erin Gray still looks damn good!

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'
'I'm the damn designer, bitches!'

Check out my indie comic book!
www.assassinsguild.net/ (http://www.assassinsguild.net/)

[Debz]

o0o happy thanksgivin!! :) SO what is your tradition in canada for thanksgiving?

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>

[Neuro]

Happy Friday ya'll! This week has been hell. Almost killed a coworker...for fun. Had it out with our biggest freelance client. Found out my printer is crapped out...after buying the ink. Thank god it's Friday...I need a drink!http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/emoticons/cheers.gif

Thanks for the laughs Kool! Needed that. Got to love the customers. You wonder sometimes how they remember to put their pants on in the morning before going to work!!

Everyone have a great!! http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/emoticons/thumbsup.gif

When I die, I have a free ride to Heaven! I will have alreadydone my time in Hell...at the local printshop!!

[Debz]

Cats Eye Creations said...
Thanks for the laughs Kool! Needed that. Got to love the customers. You wonder sometimes how they remember to put their pants on in the morning before going to work!!

i woke up and my pants were off (i usually wear sweatpants to bed).. LOL DUnno how that happened!? /emoticons/blink.gif i thought it was odd.. was that TMI? lol

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>

[snypa]

ok, everything just went to sh!t. don't feel like talking about how, just wanted to state it

...and remember, tuesday is soylent green day

[D-Zine]

damn snypa! sorry to hear that! Beers on me k!

Boobie Island or Bust!

[snypa]

that sounds good. could you ftp me some whiskey? i could really use some right now! :)

...and remember, tuesday is soylent green day

[morea]

sorry snypa - here... let me fax you a burger!

/emoticons/burger.gif

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[Debz]

here ya go snypa.. /emoticons/yeah.gif sry bout ur bad day.. /emoticons/cry.gif

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>

[Tyger]

have a good friday and great weekend all!!

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ermin.monzon/Tyger_signature.jpg

[snypa]

hey thanks, y'all
make it a veggie burger, morea. no meat for me

...and remember, tuesday is soylent green day

[morea]

n/p snypa... I'm into Boca burgers too.

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[D-Zine]

I can ftp you that beer if you like ;o) Whats the addy? LOL

Boobie Island or Bust!

[morea]

Hey DZ, how do you send an FTP file?
/emoticons/rofl.gif

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[D-Zine]

ROFLMFAO @ Morea!!

hahaha!! I knew SOMEONE would remember that one!

Boobie Island or Bust!

[Silence04]

lol... have a great weekend guys!

<SUP>www.jdcgraphics.net (http://www.jdcgraphics.net/)<SUP>- currentlyunder construction
http://www.jdcgraphics.net/banner.gif

[DivineDesign]

Happy thanksgiving in canada already?? damn..

I'm so late..I have been working on a falsh assignment for school all morning...so happy late friday. For those of youthat know about the Navy thing, I got another letter from my Matthew yesterday. He seems to be doing well. Only 4 weeks to go!!!! He had some hard physical training last week b/c some guys in his division got everybody in trouble. So their punishment was that, on top of having to stand all day. And, he didn' get to make his phoen call b/c of that. If i see who those guys are wheni got up there. Its not NOT going to be pretty. He LOVES getting all his letters, and um....blah blah blah....misses me and lives me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. lol :)

I will be a saturday night loser again, I am babysitting agian. lol. So here's my RSVP...see you there.

****Debz4Prez****2004****DD4VP****

"BAN!"



Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.

[Kink]

Wahoo to Thanksgiving weekend... boooo to winter coming closer.

Just a thought for everyone....

You know you're a computer geek when....
... you understand the statement...

'...could you ftp me some whiskey?'

That was priceless!!

Don't dunk the cat in the water!

[Debz]

ohmygod i loveeeeeee winter!! :) xmas, turkey day, snow days!! its the best time of the year!! :)

oh and MY BDAY IS soonnn which means ill be at electronic botique this month!! buahahah!

DD: We can have those trouble makers sufferr when we are in office.. LOL!

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>

[DivineDesign]

damn skippy.....i'm bout ready to drop kick them for making me miss a call from him. HMMPHHHHHH

****Debz4Prez****2004****DD4VP****

"BAN!"



Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.

[uncle carbunkle]

Debz said...
o0o happy thanksgivin!! :) SO what is your tradition in canada for thanksgiving?

roast moose and beaver tail. the men wear elk-skin pants and the women wear gourds. other then that, it's pretty much the same as yours. except our beer is better.

:)

:: Durable and doable in a swimsuit, yet not designed for surfing, cliff diving, extreme groping and other high-impact activities. ::

[Debz]

beer is nasty :p ty unc.

i want me sum beaver tail. :x

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/Debbz/kittenz.jpg

[Ryan8720]

I had today off school because of the monthly faculty meeting, but I didn't get to sleep in because I had to do job shadowing for careers class.

Anyway, I went to a printshop for my shadowing. It was interesting. The guy taught me some stuff about Photoshop and Illustrator that I didn't know. I was the biggest printer I've ever seen (and the biggest camera, but they don't use that anymore). He said the printer can print 15,000 sheets an hour, is that a lot? I even got to play with the G4 and it's cool looking mouse.

I even got witness some client stupidity. The lady comes in and is trying to figure out how to set the bleed for her weird folding ad thing (which she is making in MS Publisher). After some complaining from the woman, the graphic design just said to make 6 separate sheets in Publisher and he'd put them back together.

And after that some other lady called in at 11 asking to have her job done on Sunday.

http://www.edgewebdesign.org/images/misc/ryan_staff.gif (http://www.edgewebdesign.org)

[morea]

Debz!!! I love the new avatar and sig!!! Is that your cat?

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[Debz]

awee yeah thanks :D

the orange cat is Bitz and the Dark one is Nibblez..

they r brother n sister :) 1 1/2 yrs old. :)

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/Debbz/kittenz.jpg

[morea]

AW!!!! So cute! /emoticons/cat.gif /emoticons/wub.gif

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[D-Zine]

Ryan - thats great that you did your job shadowing with a printer!!!

/emoticons/cheers.gif

Aslo...I find this disturbing for some reason: www.afunk.com/cabbage/pictures/004.jpg (http://www.afunk.com/cabbage/pictures/004.jpg)

ROFL

Boobie Island or Bust!

[D-Frag]

I took the day off today, im really stressed out, gonna try and relax this weekend and send a resume package off to Channel 10 news (fox) there looking for a designer with TV experience and I got it...wish me luck, have a great weekend!

http://www.pillargraphicdesign.com/dfrag/simpsons.gif
A Tribute To Homer S.
"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a blender."

"Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

"Ooh, the internet is on computers now."

"Son, when you attend sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."

"To start, press any key. Where's the 'any' key?"

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
digitalcamwhore (http://digitalcamwhore.deviantart.com/gallery/)

[Debz]

morea said...
AW!!!! So cute! /emoticons/cat.gif /emoticons/wub.gif

thankieee!! /emoticons/cat.gif

*</font> Vote</font> Debz</font> &</font> DD</font> 2004</font> *</font>

I will end terrorism</font>, Stupidity</font>, Laziness</font> and eliminate all the slackers who drag us down</font>. Do not screw wit me.. buahaha! Debz & DD - 2004</font>
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/Debbz/kittenz.jpg

[morea]

Good luck DFrag!

The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.

[DeleteYourself]

Good luck, DF. If they don't take you, hijack the station Airheads style and demand a job (or at least that they play your tape).

DZ: wtf?/LOL/huh?

Unc, can you post some pictures of you in your elk-skin pants?

http://www.dafenix.org/todd/newsig.gif
Support Music and Arts Education | www.dafenix.org (http://www.dafenix.org) | 'You have no chance to win.' | GDF Mac Death Squad, Son

[D-Zine]

Delete - I dunno man. For some reason I found that disturbing!
But NOT as disturbing as what I posted earlier in CNSFW!
LOL
just...ewe

Boobie Island or Bust!

[Nina]

LOL @ Kool
that was really funny
tonight I'm leaving my 11 months old baby girl with my mother in law for the first time since she was born and we are going out to a friends house to have a cassual dinner party, I'm looking forward to it
http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/emoticons/hop.gif
happy weekend everybody
http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/emoticons/cheers.gif


Nina

[Ryan8720]

Poker night tonight.

http://www.edgewebdesign.org/images/misc/ryan_staff.gif (http://www.edgewebdesign.org)

[uncle carbunkle]

poker? i don't even know 'er!

poker? you poker, you brought 'er.

poker? damn near killed 'er!

:: Durable and doable in a swimsuit, yet not designed for surfing, cliff diving, extreme groping and other high-impact activities. ::

[Ryan8720]

I won too. It was beautiful. At the beginning of the night I was losing, then the person that was winning went all in and lost. Then I came back and won.

http://www.edgewebdesign.org/images/misc/ryan_staff.gif (http://www.edgewebdesign.org)