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Tyger
10-08-2004, 08:58 PM
Chair Man of the Board

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive''s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, '...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.'




Bad reception

A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, 'How is much is this TV?'
The salesman said, 'Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes.'

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, 'Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes.'

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, 'Sorry we don''t sell to blondes.'

She replied, ' I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?'
'Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave.'


Twelve Inch Pianist

This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.

“Hey, what's that?”

“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”

“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.

“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”

“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ermin.monzon/Tyger_signature.jpg

DivineDesign
10-08-2004, 09:01 PM
LMAO @ the pianist joke!!!!!!!!!!!!

****Debz4Prez****2004****DD4VP****

"BAN!"



Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.

D-Frag
10-08-2004, 10:37 PM
Im gonna submit a Bush one in lite of the upcoming election.




An tragedy, and accident, and a great loss

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word 'tragedy.'

So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: 'If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.'

'No,' says President Bush, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raises her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'

'I'm afraid not,' explains the exalted leader. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: 'If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaims President Bush, 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'

http://www.pillargraphicdesign.com/dfrag/simpsons.gif
A Tribute To Homer S.
"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a blender."

"Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

"Ooh, the internet is on computers now."

"Son, when you attend sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."

"To start, press any key. Where's the 'any' key?"

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
digitalcamwhore (http://digitalcamwhore.deviantart.com/gallery/)

Nina
10-08-2004, 10:51 PM
LOL!!


Nina

Tyger
10-08-2004, 11:58 PM
Ha! Luv it D-Frag!

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ermin.monzon/Tyger_signature.jpg

10-09-2004, 12:15 AM
LMAO @ D-frag and tyger.

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Graphic Design Heroes! Call me Captain Type Caster. I’ve fought off “The Evil Cosmic Sans” for year but it seems “Dr. Extreme Untalent” keeps bringing him back. I must find a way to defeat this evil creature.

Capt. Creative bring me those comps…