Abusive relationship....

[sscheer]

Has anyone ever experienced a relationship where it was either physical, verbal or emotional abuse? How have you dealt with it? The reason why I ask is I have been dating this one guy for 2 months and he has belittled me and made me feel bad about myself. The relationship ended Saturday night, but how does someone like myself who had feelings for this guy just stop having feelings and stop caring about him? I wish I did not feel so stupid in this situation.

[D-Frag]

Im glad you got out, now stay away and you should be good. Don't feel stupid, feel releived that you are not involved anymore and move on with your life, there will come a time when you meet someone who will treat you with respect and care for you.


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[sscheer]

I am just to the point where I am sick of men. And that is a horrible way to be and to even think. I agree with you though that moving on is the best thing to do.

[Debz]

yeah move on and keep yourself occupied with other things so you wont get upset as much, etc etc.

i was in a relationship where the guy was a real jerk and tried to make me think it was a normal thing.. Finally one day.. i just got fed up and said see yuh!!

anytime u feel like u need 2 talk to him call a friend or do something construcive. Just try your best and never give in.. if hes anything like my ex he may contact u again. Ignore it.. good luck :)

http://uploader.co.uk/images/debz22222.gif

[Tyger]

Anyone who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve you. The best way to get over him is to move on and realize that you made a good decision. A True man would never abuse a women verbally or physically. I'm sure there's someone out there for you scheer, but remember true hapiness comes within first...then extends outward.

The Tyger is on the prowl...

<img border="0" src= "http://www3.sympatico.ca/ermin.monzon/Tyger_signature.jpg">

[D-Zine]

Yep...it seems impossible, but you have to just forget...and move on. It's alot easier to say than to do, but you can do it...First you have to realize, believe and KNOW that you don't deserve that kind of treatment...you can't move on until you know that...remember that.

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Who says doodling isn't constructive?!

[sscheer]

Thank you for the advice. I am moving on with my life, but I am starting to wonder why I attract men who verbally abuse me. This was not the only relationship that I have had problems. But anyways, I am done with it. Thanks again.

[defjoe]

He's a bum and not worth your time. I wouldn't even think twice about it. move on and have fun. Maybe you need to find a nice girl?

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'

[Debz]

lol yeah i have a bad habit of attracting psychos as well!! i feel ya on it! hehe :/

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[DeleteYourself]

The abusive behavior is probably just a product of this dude's own insecurities, and most likely as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you. Good for you for getting out. You did the right thing.

And knowing's half the battle!

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[sscheer]

Yeah, I agree. But I am not into women. Just into men. The thing is, it is hard to find a decent one.
[quote]
[quote]

defjoe said...
He's a bum and not worth your time. I wouldn't even think twice about it. move on and have fun. Maybe you need to find a nice girl?
</div>

[defjoe]

sscheer said...
Yeah, I agree. But I am not into women. Just into men. The thing is, it is hard to find a decent one.


[/quote]

DAMN! /emoticons/icon_confused.gif

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'

[D-Zine]

It's hard to find a decent anyone these days...I think its just as hard for men too. Thing is...ya can't look...you just gotta go with it...and when it happens...it happens.

Ahha hahhah ROFL @ Joe and damn!

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Who says doodling isn't constructive?!

[Magnus]

Now you'll know for next time Sarah. Take each experience and learn from it, then apply what you've acquired. If you don't, you're just asking for more problems.

- There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

[Kool]

Sorry I'm so late on this one Sarah. I'd wondered what happened to you. Here is one of those corny sayings that just happens to make a lot of sense:

Life is like a grindstone - whether it grinds you down
or polishes you up, depends on what you're made of.


/emoticons/cool.gif

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'I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me.' Abraham Simpson

[Big Perm-dizzle]

start sleeping around....jk

"In the past couple of weeks your kids have touched me, and i'm pretty sure i've touched them too" - Jack Black (School of Rock)

[sscheer]

I like to hear that someone was thinking of me. Thanks Kool. I have been very busy and doing alot of reading these days. Other then that, I am starting to question if I went to school for the right field or not. Kinda scares me. I love the design stuff, but very frustrated. </div>
Anyways, thanks for wondering where I have been. </div>



Kool said...
Sorry I'm so late on this one Sarah. I'd wondered what happened to you. Here is one of those corny sayings that just happens to make a lot of sense:

Life is like a grindstone - whether it grinds you down
or polishes you up, depends on what you're made of.


/emoticons/cool.gif
</div>

[sscheer]

I don't want to be really brutal to myself, but why am I such an idiot and accept this guy back into my life after him practically begging me, and appoligizing? Hate myself because of it.

[defjoe]

kick is ass to the curb woman! Your a good looking chick... you can get someone who treats you right!

'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'

[Magnus]

LMAO @ PERM

- There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

[sscheer]

I know I can do better. And why I am giving him a second shot at this I don't know. I know I am not desperate to have any man in my life, so that is not it. Wish I wasn't such a losser who makes bad choices.

[D-Zine]

Are you saying to took this guy back...as in you are dating him again?? ugh...you should move on..for sure.

http://coastalcarousel.com/GDF/metatag3.jpg

Who says doodling isn't constructive?!

[sscheer]

I know. Why do I feel like I am going to learn my lesson the hard way. I just don't get myself sometimes as far as why I believe that this guy is going to be good to me and not say anything belittling. Trust me, I am not too pleased with myself and don't know why I am in it again. I just can't figure it out.

sscheer you have to take responsibility for your action. You have to make a decision and stick to it.

You don't know what you want out of life, and you don't have dirrection. You should join a self help group or something cause I don't get a good feeling about the decisions you make. Is your mom's or any caring relatives around? Stick to them like glue cause you need someone that loves you around.

I wish you the best sscheer and hope you learn that you are what you choose and nothing more nothing less.

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'Adventure, Excitement, A Jedi craves not these things.'
'Anger...fear...aggression. The dark side of the Force are they.'

[Magnus]

I think you're just a tad on the weak-minded side. Ever see an abused woman emphatically deny that her husband or such beats them? Then they go on to say it's their own fault, or they deserve it.

Honestly sarah, get your $hit together. Not only are you wasting your own time and money with this guy, but there's a serious risk to your mental, and possibly your physical health here.

When people go ahead and repeat their mistakes, without at least trying to avoid or correct them, I find it extremely difficult to feal anything other than contempt for them.

- There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

[axoi]

There is an old saying that goes with this.

Hurt me once shame on you.
Hurt me twice shame on me.

Learn from your mistakes. Admit you were wrong. Kick his ass out and move on. ( wow that rhymes. ) You have neither the time nor the energy to waste on people who are too stupid, imature, or just plain bad to be around. Remember that you have but only one life to live. Don't settle.

To thy own self be true. - Shakespeare. He was right 400 years ago, he's still right now.

If you were to give advice to someone in your position, what would it be?

- Bill

[e-man]

Always nice to be with someone, but not at the expense of loseing yourself. You are the only person sscheer who can sort this out. You are in the loop, and not looking at it's nature. Have to agree with Magnus, but being a perpetual optimist (even after those little hiccups in the road that people refer to as 'character building') I'm sure you'll realise that it's only a matter of time before this guy refers back to type, and the subtle character assassinations will start to appear again. If not, maybe he'll do a good enough job on you to stop you being creative. Having no self confidence and no self belief left, why bother eh?

Anyhow, good luck.

[court6478]

You're being played. Stop it.

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The 'Lettering Guy' says: 'It's not only what you say, but how well you say it.'

[sscheer]

WEll, as of Easter Sunday, this sucky relationship is over. I can't live like this, so I broke it off after I seen him get violent and with all the argueing and yelling on his part. *****.

[DeleteYourself]

Awesome. You did the right thing.

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Yes that was defiently the right choice. Congradulations!!!

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'Adventure, Excitement, A Jedi craves not these things.'
'Anger...fear...aggression. The dark side of the Force are they.'

[MADE]

sometimes its hard to break it off with someone you have feelings for. you just have to be strong and even if he comes back begging again, try to remember what he did to you. and usually guys like that come back...talking from my own sad experience.
you ll just end up wasting years waiting till they grow up , but i dont think they ever do..

[sscheer]

I agree. I find myself having feelings for him, because we did have a first few good weeks, then I just seen a side of him where he was verbally abusive, and very very down right nasty when he did not get his way. And yeah, he is begging me back again and I can't go back to him. He keeps saying he made a mistake but how many times should I allow someone like that into my life again. Yeah right, I don't think so. Too bad if he can't get his way all the time. </div>
I realized that I really like being single. Maybe I will just give up men altogether. </div>



MADE said...
sometimes its hard to break it off with someone you have feelings for. you just have to be strong and even if he comes back begging again, try to remember what he did to you. and usually guys like that come back...talking from my own sad experience.
you ll just end up wasting years waiting till they grow up , but i dont think they ever do..

[MADE]

Yes. He sais he made the biggest mistake of his life...and blah blah blah. He'll tell you anything you want to hear so you 'll get back together. But the more times you forgive him, the worse its gonna get, because he would think that what he does is normal , since you r forgiving him...
Dont waste your time on him...
You will find someone better!
'those who make us cry, do not deserve our tears
those who deserve, will never make us cry'

[sscheer]

Now I am just beside myself. This guy is not hearing me out as far as I don't want him to be my boyfriend anymore and as much as we still talk and I have no plans on dating him, he still calls me his girlfriend, and thinks we are going to get back together. He has asked me before about moving in with him, but I won't. Not with all the problems and his attitude and bad temper.

Too, he thinks I still have strong feelings for him when it is the total opposite. Yeah, I did have feelings for him, but with seeing this side of him that I never want to see again, I feel nothing towards him. ITs to the point where he is not even hearing me out and making it sound like I still want him because that is what he wants. And I just can't.

What's to do? I do want to talk to him, but talking would be it.

[Magnus]

Is it just me, or is this a no-brainer????</div>
Sarah, when you call it quits with someone, especially under the circumstances in this case, WHY THE F*$K ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO HIM??? This guy obviously has some issues in anger management and communication, yet you're still keepin the proverbial "door" open for him, if only a crack, by keeping in touch. No guy just want's to be friends with a girl he just dated. They want all or nothing.</div>
Maybe you should stop giving him the impression that you like him by cutting your ties to him. Nothing worse than some broad who keeps a guy on the line because she's being selfish by wanting to be "friends". Tell you something honey, guys don't work this way. All you're doing is making things worse on him and you. So close the chapter and start writing a new one. </div>
Bottom line? Quit screwing around and end things once and for all. You'll never be "true" friends with this guy, and trust me, it's definately not what he wants. So be an adult and do the right thing here for both of you, and end it. </div>
If you're ever in a bookstore, pick this book up, you need it: </div>
Relationships for dummies (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0764553844/qid=1082821493/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-5744498-1454531?v=glance&amp;s=books)</div>


- There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.