Nightclub Flyer

[hagarack]

Hello again, this is my second post in a row but I'm not gonna start spamming, don't worry, have just built up a couple of things I'd like comments on :)
This one (http://hagarack.deviantart.com/art/Xenon-Flyer-95152258) is a prospective flyer for a made-up nightclub's opening night. I like the colours but am worried about the placing and orientation of the text. I know the look I'm aiming at but only in a vague way in my head and am not sure the way I've done it works terribly well. The size could be a little off too - one of the reasons it's in this format is because I used a photograph I really loved that was already to these dimensions. Could work as a unusual shape or not get noticed because of its narrowness.
Anyhow all crits and comments appreciates. Thanks.
By the way if you haven't read my other post this is work for a portfolio hence why it's a made up nightclub :)

[Mynock]

Do you mean dance not danze?

[hagarack]

No, I meant Danze. Alternate spelling seems to be all the rage with the kids :). I just thought it looked cool, basically and you can still tell it means dance.

[Mynock]

Looks like a typo to me. I'm glad I don't have to do any designs for dance clubs, I dunno I kind of like to follow the rules of grammar and spelling.

[hagarack]

Fair enough. The type is mostly just placeholder anyway cos I made it up to fill in the space. Any comments on the visual elements?

[gnubler]

Is that a silhouette of an oil well drill? That's what it looks like to me.

Nix the danze, it makes it sound dumb.

[steve2112]

great bookmark but i can hardly read the open night text on the bottom. While i am all for odd size flyers i think this one might be too narrow. Working with such and extreme size you should have all the text that is going to be in it already. It would suck if the promoter hits you up with "this has to be there" junk and you have no room.

I second good grammer. though i can not do it to well but i have a proofreader to fall back to.

the design itself is cool but it just will get lost in the sliver of paper

steve

[gnubler]

I second good grammer. though i can not do it to well but i have a proofreader to fall back to.

We noticed. Is today retard day or something?

[hagarack]

No - it's an angel statue. Given knew what it was before it's probably easy for me to know what it is. Looking at it again it does really look like an oil well drill. Curses. Perhaps the wings need to be more prominent so it actually looks like an angel :) Thanks for the pointer - when you're looking at a thing for a long time you often lose what it actually looks like rather than what it means.
Given two no gos on the danze I'll think about changing it for the portfolio presentation. I will assume that if I do end up getting work in the future the employer will have to supply text so may not have leeway there. Not sure if designers are allowed to change content dependent on how it will come across to the viewer.
@ Steve, I had a similar feeling about the size. Maybe a little narrower than usual but not that narrow. There isn't much space for text, this is true - I have made a bookelt beofre which kept getting added to and made my life hard so it would be rather irritating to have that happen again. Will get a copy printed during the weeks so can have a better idea of what sizes would work better.

[NTLemon]

Yeah 3rd nix on "danze."

Although I did see the angel right off the bat, had to go back and look again to find the oil well.

[filthydesign]

i saw the angel, it looks good for what its meant for, one of those glossy club flyers some dude hands you on campus when you walk past. thats what it is, and there is a whole other design culture out there that caters to night clubs and car shows. I say good job only bit of critique i can give is, dont outline a serif font it looks akward if you do tone down the stoke a bit.

[hagarack]

Perhaps it's like one of those optical illusion chappies. I'll leave the background image as it is anyway - don't have enough time to mess about with it too much - interview soon. I suppose I thought it would sound like Dance if you think of it as German with a hard sort of z sound. Obviously it doesn't :). Thanks for the advanced critique on the font and stroke - exactly the kind of stuff I like pointed out to me having only really had myself to critique it before. All your comments have been really useful to me. I appreciate it.

[Thijsjanssen]

Yeah 3rd nix on "danze."

Although I did see the angel right off the bat, had to go back and look again to find the oil well.

same here :P

A little point to look at, the collor of the text.
Maybe white, so it jumps out of it... now it is one collor massa.

thats all..

gr.t.

[hagarack]

Good point about the text colour though I think the bright pink provides quite alot of contrast to the black if printed on glossy paper. Not sure how big the text is gonna come out - will have to get it printed and readjust. I was thinking of using black and white if needed on lower grade paper. I like keeping the possibility of going black and white if needs be.

Edit - sorry, looked at flyer again and see you meant the text on the blobby things. Good point. It does kind of blend. I'll check it out.

[tZ]

hagarack wrote:

cos I made it up to fill in the space


I think that is the problem. Design isn't about filling in space. If anything its about taking away.

[hagarack]

I guess I meant placeholder text rather than making text up to purely to fill in gaps. It's good to keep aware of making sure there is sufficient space and how the space is used. I hope they go into that in the course :) There was more text but I decided it was superfluous and cut it. I have to get better at cutting things that don't work though, it's just such a wrench when you've spent so long at it and everything else is aligned with it etc. Thanks for the comments

[martyng]

I'm an inhouse designer for a company that owns a lot of clubs and bars, so flyers and the like, make up a lot of my day to day design work.

So lets see... you have an angel silhouette, which I couldn't see until you pointed it out and you have some paint splodges. Clubs especially, like to have their own style and identity, not just random things that you think are cool. To be honest this probably could work as a generic club flyer, I've seen worse from rival clubs, but in no way does this say that a new club is opening. You would need to hammer in the fact that this is for an opening night - promos, celebrities, DATES etc etc.

I know it's a portfolio piece, but if you treat it only in that way, then you will be struggling.

[B'elanna Torres]

I recognized the angel directly when I opened your flyer, but the words at the bottom (I think with Opening) is too small in my opinion. If you want to tell the people about a grand opening - you should TELL it on the flyer - it might have some more importancy in your design.

[hagarack]

I am aware of the importance of aiming a flyer towards its target maket and reflecting the style and identity of the club. To this end I made a flyer for a club which I would probably go to myself, thus making it appealing to me will probably mean it would be appealing to other potential customers. Of course I could be wrong about that but in imagining what kind of clientele it would have it was the best I could do.
The spots are there to provide some to pull the eye on to the text which I think they achieve.
I don't think there's enough of an emphasis on it being a new place either which I was going to address. The details of dates are somewhat small. I'll have to think about what to emphasize most - what's going on in the place or when it's going to happen. The dates do need to be bigger having said that.
I did have an idea of the potential club this could be for in my head when doing the design as I think it's essential in design given the communication element of it so it's not a piece of art solely in that sense. It needs to convey information clearly about the thing that it's advertising. All of your comments have got me thinking about this more. Thank you.

[hagarack]

Right. I've modded it up a bit (http://hagarack.deviantart.com/art/Xenon-flyer-modded-95379405) to make more emphasis on the opening. Not sure if the balance is right though. Want to make the "free" part most obvious to get people to read it. Colour change in text is good I think but not sure it should be all the text except the nightclub name. Now that seems to fade a little with the bright white lettering. Have left stroke size way it is as IMO doesn't look as nice when toned down on screen. Another matter when it's printed so will reassess then. Any comments welcome. Also just realised the colours dont show up as well on the website as they do on my computer. Due to lack of technical expertise I'm not sure how to fix that. Anyway if you think the colour looks a bit washed out it could just be because of that. Thanks :)

[B'elanna Torres]

Like this one better - contrast in text is better.

[filthydesign]

much better I still think the stroke on the white should be a tiny bit thinner,
i like it

[Emagdnim]

that's better. The only other thing that is tugging at me (and this is picky) but I'd change the date to "August 30th" Rather than 30th August. Or at least add an "of".

[Rosger]

Man, I'm seeing those paint splashes everywhere these days :eek:

[SpugNothuson]

Is it just me or is it more reminiscent of Godzilla with wings?

[ensculpt]

You're getting good design feedback, it may just be me but I kinda get insulted by flyers that ask me questions.

[xc-runner]

That thing in the background looks like some kinda weird gourd

[M4ven]

Is it just me or is it more reminiscent of Godzilla with wings?

rofl | I see it too.