Your critiques please.

[RiZE iNK]

A postcard mailer that I was asked to re-design.

First the original..
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s234/carbone1028/yitzy_5x8-2.jpg

Now my design...
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s234/carbone1028/GFI_TakeControl-1.jpg

Advice and constructive criticism greatly appreciated.

[holycow77]

Makes me feel dizzy - and out of control.

[Randomhero]

Both cards look pretty good, but unfortunately both images reflect the opposite of control. The one $ sign is really rusty (no control over the object and/or weather) and the other one is is shaky/blurry also defying control. It's just how I see it :p .

They are pretty well set up but I don't agree with the images.

[RiZE iNK]

ok the reason behind my choice of image and radial blur is because some peoples financial situations might be spinning out of control -which this is where they can relate to the effects of the image. but the center is a calm blue and it says TAKE CONTROL. I try to stay clear of the typical traditional blunt advertising. I was going to have a man holding a globe or something of that matter but it was just too cliche.

thanks for your opinions though.

[holycow77]

It's a good idea to have the whole "spinning out of control" thing going on, but it's like a shampoo salesman with dirty, stinky hair trying to sell you shampoo by pointing out how horrible his hair is. It would be much better showing the positive as opposed to the negative.

[RiZE iNK]

It's a good idea to have the whole "spinning out of control" thing going on, but it's like a shampoo salesman with dirty, stinky hair trying to sell you shampoo by pointing out how horrible his hair is. It would be much better showing the positive as opposed to the negative.
Yea I hear ya. Well when I was comming up with the concept of designing this ad I wanted the building to represent the world and how financial situations can get out of control, and the center when it is calm and under control to represent GFI. And GFI is hope for people with financial burdens who want to take control.

[Skeedio]

I really like the idea but looking at it makes me dizzy.
Is making the picture a little out of focus an option?

[RiZE iNK]

I really like the idea but looking at it makes me dizzy.
Is making the picture a little out of focus an option?

I see what you guys are saying. It can def get a little dizzy, although I think more so on the screen bc it is emitting light where as when its printed its not as bad.

I could def lessen the radial blur on it while still giving the same effect. Ill try it out.

[RiZE iNK]

Heres 2 more options. One with minimal blur, I dont like at all, I remember why I chose to put more of a blur on it. And then I have no blur, which works very well IMO.


http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s234/carbone1028/GFI_TakeControl_MBlur-1.jpg
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s234/carbone1028/GFI_TakeControl_NoBlur-1.jpg

[gra-designers]

lot better without blur

[BJMRGTIVR6]

hmmm, the first (your version) can be dizzy. The slight blue looks like a mistake. Then the regular version looks crisp but wonder if it is so much going on that (even though the buildings point to the) text doesn't have the same focus. Maybe be overlaying the real dizzy over the regular and erase some of the dizzy so just some buildings look blurry or perhaps put a soft blur at either the top or bottom of the buildings for a smaller depth of field feel and then more focus on teh text.

just thoughts.

[Nia]

Makes me feel dizzy - and out of control.

Same here, I like the first one better!!!

Actually, I feel sick after looking at that!

I wonder how epileptic people would take it...

Only saying that casue my sister is epileptic...

[Danger_Mouse]

I liked the first two concepts you originally posted. Nothing wrong with showing lack of control. It's also offering the solution. i think it works. Makes me dizzy, makes the point. I like it. I even like the second over the first.

Some of the text could be larger though.

[RiZE iNK]

hmmm, the first (your version) can be dizzy. The slight blue looks like a mistake. Then the regular version looks crisp but wonder if it is so much going on that (even though the buildings point to the) text doesn't have the same focus. Maybe be overlaying the real dizzy over the regular and erase some of the dizzy so just some buildings look blurry or perhaps put a soft blur at either the top or bottom of the buildings for a smaller depth of field feel and then more focus on teh text.
just thoughts.
Thank you. Very helpful suggestions.

I liked the first two concepts you originally posted. Nothing wrong with showing lack of control. It's also offering the solution. i think it works. Makes me dizzy, makes the point. I like it. I even like the second over the first.

Some of the text could be larger though. Yes I also realized the text under the headline can be a little bit larger.






Thanks everyone for your help.

[filthydesign]

i think your image doesnt make any sense without the blur, but the only problem is you should look to the positive side of taking control… an image that shows someone taking control or someting under control as oposed to the cityscape would make much more sense.

[Emagdnim]

perhaps having a dividing while line on one side you have your building spinning out of control on the other side you have calm skyline with text in blue skies....

I don't know how that would actually look, it's a try and see kind of thing.