Poster Design Crit

[Carrot]

I'm working on a poster that will be used by a non-profit at an upcoming networking event. They're an organization that provides career and educational advice to under performing African-American teenagers who have demonstrated leadership potential. The poster will be accompanied by one or two postcards; my idea was to create two, since one will be geared towards kids entering the program, and the other will be geared towards the professionals that the organization tries to recruit as volunteers.

The three keywords the client gave me were Leadership, Perseverance, and Commitment. I spent quite a while toying around with different designs, trying to figure out how to convey this. Here are the two concepts I've come up with so far, but I'm not sure if I'm going in the right direction or not. Any thoughts?

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v2_mockuo_02.jpg
http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v1_mockup_02.jpg

P.S. Be as harsh as you like. I'm only getting started in graphic design-- I'm primarily an illustrator-- so if I'm churning out crap, I'd like to know.

[garricks]

Sorry for the drive-by crit, but I only have a moment...v1 made me grin...love the little girl! I'm just not sure how much of an obstacle she's overcoming. Maybe if she was behind a baby gate?

v2 biggest problem is the middle photo. His face is cut in half. Prime no-no in cropping, especially with two other full-face photos in the ad.

I'm sure others will be along with more details. Overall you have the right idea.

[eismont_designs]

I dont like the muted greenish color/gradient with the orange black combo. That might just be my personal tastes though. I agree with Garricks, The one with the baby works the best, it has a good concept that needs to be pushed further. A baby fence would be interesting. Or you should show the thing the baby is trying to get to. A cookie or treat and it is on the other side of the obstacle. How big is this poster going to be?

Look at the grid line for these paragraphs: "You've been over -"
"Why stop now". I think they need to be left aligned with the logo and the person with the diploma. It will just tighten the design more.

Good concept though.

[CMYK girl]

Version 2 is the stronger layout. but don't like the L going into the picture. Wouldn't crop off the guy if you're not cropping off the girls. Mabye you can find another guy photo?

Version 1, sure a baby is cute but the headline is kerned badly and never break a word (overcoming). Play with the size of the type to keep that from happening.

Keep at it, good start.

[Carrot]

Thanks guys! I played around with it some more and came up with something different and, I hope, stronger.

I poked around stock sites some more and came across a series of images of a kid playing on a jungle gym-- there lay more potential in that, I thought, to show overcoming an obstacle, so I pulled one of the more dynamic ones from the set and tested it out.

I also pulled all of the text from the poster except the email & website address. My worry is that the poster might be a bit vague now, but considering that it's going to be used more as an eye-catch at the booth than as an actual, out-in-public poster, I think that taking out the info helped a lot.

The logos are proving to be quite the pain in the butt. The version with the green bar is my favorite, but it doesn't suit Pitney Bownes logo, due to it being on a white bar. The version with the white stripe suits all the logos better, but I think the solid bar of white may be a bit jarring against the rest of the poster. Also, as you can see, I'm really not sure what to do with the organization's logo-- the fact that it's on a white background is giving me all sorts of trouble.

Any thoughts?

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v1_02_02.jpg
http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v1_02.jpg

[WillGraham]

Hey carrot I actually think I like the colors and the font size in the first one. The kid looks kind of scary too.

[doctorsax13]

"Tomorrow"

[Carrot]

doctorsax- Thanks. I didn't even notice that. :o

willgraham-- did you mean the green version or the orange version? I took a look at both and decided that the orange version did have a nice punch to it that was a bit lacking with the blue; the blue is more business-like I think, and I've been trying to avoid designs that are overtly business oriented, as that won't catch the eye of kids who are looking to go into the program. Here's a new orange version, with a different image of the kid on the jungle gym.

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v3.jpg

Here's a revision of the blue version as well, with more whitespace added around the organization's logo.

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v4.jpg


(http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v3.jpg)

[Wizarekill]

Is it me or does it look like the kids head has been edited on....

[Carrot]

On which version? Other than clipping masks, neither of the photos have been edited, unless the stock photographer did so on their end.

[Wizarekill]

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v4.jpg, just look a bit wierd in my eyes, his head seems too far forward for comfort :D

[jddj]

http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v3.jpg (http://www.ajw-art.com/critique/poster_v4.jpg)


I like this one, though the only thing I'm not sure about is the text, maybe a bit too much going on.

[Pointyhat]

I just kind of glanced. I have no clue what the ads are selling. Is it a school or laundry detergent? Why is the guys head cut off in the first ad. That's prolly what threw me.

[balin]

hey Carrot.... i think the last one works very well. I do like how the little boy´s face makes it seam like he´s struggling (thats the whole idea). I love the lay out..it works very well for me.