Best. Spam. Ever.

[Bladez]

Ever get spam emails that just have absolute nonsense in them? I got one of the best ones EVER today, and I just had to share. The last sentence is my favourite :D

A jersey cow around a tuba player self-flagellates, or a resplendent ski lodge slyly cooks cheese grits for a pit viper. When a cab driver is lazily mysterious, the incinerated scythe eats another CEO about a maelstrom. The paper napkin living with a bullfrog buys an expensive gift for a fruit cake. Now and then, an unstable turn signal plays pinochle with the earring. The blithe spirit beyond a reactor earns frequent flier miles, but a self-loathing ball bearing makes a truce with the salty mastadon.

[Virgo Nightingale]

WTF is that supposed to sell? Reads like Quark jabber.

[Audentia]

you get weird spam at your office Bladez. You and your office mate who posted last week on FB some weird stuff.

Though I am wondering... why you are even bothering to open said spam and read it?

[Bladez]

It was in my personal email, not my work one, so in the window that shows names/subjects, it puts a preview of the email beside it automatically. I read the first line and was all WTF??? so I had to check it out *LOL*

[Typically]

salty mastadon might be the most awesome combination of words ever!

[Bladez]

LOL! And I love that it has made a truce with the self-loathing ball-bearing.

[Typically]

i should read through spam to find interesting lyrics. i bet i could come up with some crazy stuff putting a bunch of it together :D

[TheBluePanda]

LoL "self-loathing ball bearing "

That is pure gold.

[garricks]

Mmm. Salty mastadon. Maybe with a nice brown sauce and some mashed potatoes?

[Craig B]

A lot of spammers use tricks like that to get around spam filters ... here's an article that explains it more (http://becomingparanoid.com/2006/03/29/e-mail-security-detecting-spam-ii/).

[garricks]

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon and spam.

[John G]

eggs and spam imo.

It's probably code e-mails from the mob.

[Bladez]

eggs and spam imo.

It's probably code e-mails from the mob.

Damn....does that mean I'm next to be Whacked?

I KNEW I shouldn't have accepted that kiss from Don Giovanni

[John G]

Your only chance is to ask a favor on this the day of his daughter's wedding.


Good luck my friend.

[Audentia]

Bladez do you mind changing your life insurance policy to my name from your Mom's before you get whacked please? I'd really like to be able to afford to stay at our fancy new place. ;)

[tuliptree]

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon and spam.


I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!
:D


Lol, that's pretty hilarious Bladez! Perhaps we could do random album covers based on spam text instead of wikiquotes.

[Bladez]

Bladez do you mind changing your life insurance policy to my name from your Mom's before you get whacked please? I'd really like to be able to afford to stay at our fancy new place. ;)

Yea......how 'bout NO! then you've got no reason to whack me....wait....that came out wrong!

[Audentia]

ROFL!!!
Omg... I'll be sure to never *whack* you again.
Ha, that is some good payback. :D

[Typically]

looks like you'll be doing the whackin for awhile bladez :D

[Bladez]

http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/2144_sadness.gif

[garricks]

Zippers for ALL! :D

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a249/garricks/BBU%20avatars/zip-zip-animated-animation-000408-l.gif http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a249/garricks/BBU%20avatars/zip-zip-animated-animation-000408-l.gif http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a249/garricks/BBU%20avatars/zip-zip-animated-animation-000408-l.gif

[PrintDriver]

Didn't you know?
Salty mastadon IS spam.
:D

[Drazan]

http://www.crispyontheoutside.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/spambacon.jpg

heh, that is all.

[budafist]

Cheese grits are good, but I don't do fruit cake.

[urstwile]

I'd love to see Ze Frank do a version of that email, similar to the way he did this one (http://www.zefrank.com/request/index_better.html). :D

[doctorfoz]

well, he's got me convinced.
*hurriedly sends off bank details to Mr Mangura*

:) nice find, Urst!

[tuliptree]

I looove Ze Frank! But I'm having problems with the link. :( I will conquor!

[vtwin_gary]

a SPAMologue.
i'd like to see him do one of the grow inches emails i get on a daily basis

[JPnyc]

I find it somewhat reminiscent of Jim Morrison's lyrics...

[urstwile]

I think the email Bladez posted is coming from someone who's channeling William Faulkner. :D

[tuliptree]

lmao urst!!!

[Virgo Nightingale]

Just got this one, complete with varying justifications, fonts and colors, among some jpgs hocking various ED pills:


trust me, you'll want her working her magic on you.
my happy little life
and it's so yummy
really really happy.
i love that she's an expert knitter and yet chooses to create very simple pieces;
simple is always prettiest to me.
corned beef is cheap meat, a head of cabbage is less than 50 cents, and i bet you have all the ingredients for the bread in your cupboard. you should make this meal tonight!
i am trying to be a patient, kind mom. pis
and my wheels are turning with projects to put together for a locals knitting class.
my sister and hair stylist, coco, is coming to utah county once again to meet our hair needs.
she's amazing.
my homekeeping secrets
she never looks like a senator from krypton on the red carpet.
i love the color palette and obvious softness.
i am so grateful for quiet time with the scriptures.
like this one, from sweet mary, that she left on the clean room post: "Your house seems so organized.
happy happy days.
i always enjoy knitting lacy stuff but this pattern was especially fun, super easy, and portable.
ok, i'm off to knit...
wooohoooo!" is this MOLLO
here's an irish blessing from us to you...
i LOVE this picture and am so inspired to keep the needles moving.
ps- did i say i would sew this past saturday? i meant next saturday! haha!
may the light always find you on a dreary day.
pps- our topic of convo for the night was this article from the wall street journal.
kiss me, i'm irish
time for a new spring look...

[Typically]

now that is an odd combination of thoughts.

[Bladez]

*spooneyes* ahhh...better.

I love the line:
she never looks like a senator from krypton on the red carpet.

[budafist]

Just got this one, complete with varying justifications, fonts and colors, among some jpgs hocking various ED pills:


trust me, you'll want her working her magic on you.
my happy little life
and it's so yummy
really really happy.
i love that she's an expert knitter and yet chooses to create very simple pieces;
simple is always prettiest to me.
corned beef is cheap meat, a head of cabbage is less than 50 cents, and i bet you have all the ingredients for the bread in your cupboard. you should make this meal tonight!
i am trying to be a patient, kind mom. pis
and my wheels are turning with projects to put together for a locals knitting class.
my sister and hair stylist, coco, is coming to utah county once again to meet our hair needs.
she's amazing.
my homekeeping secrets
she never looks like a senator from krypton on the red carpet.
i love the color palette and obvious softness.
i am so grateful for quiet time with the scriptures.
like this one, from sweet mary, that she left on the clean room post: "Your house seems so organized.
happy happy days.
i always enjoy knitting lacy stuff but this pattern was especially fun, super easy, and portable.
ok, i'm off to knit...
wooohoooo!" is this MOLLO
here's an irish blessing from us to you...
i LOVE this picture and am so inspired to keep the needles moving.
ps- did i say i would sew this past saturday? i meant next saturday! haha!
may the light always find you on a dreary day.
pps- our topic of convo for the night was this article from the wall street journal.
kiss me, i'm irish
time for a new spring look...

Are they trying to sell corned beef? Because I want corned beef now....and a head of cabbage. Kiss me I'm Irish!

[Virgo Nightingale]

Another one of those crazy ED drug-hocking ads:

all day the kids hung out at that corner played on that grass got drinks out of that hose went through the secret passage way in the juniper bushes and only left the area to go around the block over and over again sometimes it was on bikes with banana seats sometimes roller skates sometimes big wheels sometimes walking even occasionally on skateboards with cardboard boxes on them (our cars)
remember how i was so proud that my room was clean and i was knitting well i still am
and then i realized i love her so much
Taking the valentines happy girl
at 18 i planned to live the tahoe hippie life forever one day i felt compelled i knew it i just had to leave i packed up my car and moved to the central coast
even more obsessed with flickr than usual of late
what im listening to this morningagain
im loving babies & mamas sunshine happy rooms and cool colors
what a few hours on a sunny day can do for you
Off to the kindergarten valentine party
all kits are shipped phew
but the main thing i love about this picture is tree cover you can see in the upper right corner thats how it was all around the block even on really hot days you could find a great place to play in some serious shade everyone had a huge tree or trees somewhere on their property and bushes and ivy and a great variety of things the only reason we had those young trees on the corner was because my mom sold our big palm tree to some palm springs landscapers ha
ok its hard to stop i love every song
like this one for instance my older brother uploaded it while reminiscing about the old buggie he rebuilt in the 80s
secondly i must say i know carbohydrates arent bad i know bread is life and wheat is the staff of life a lot of fruits and veggies are quite sugary/ starchy for almost everyone eating all these foods in moderation will do them fine but remember i am trying to regulate an abnormality to a diabetic sugar is the devil to someone with celiac disease wheat is the devil to someone with milk allergies dairy is the devel and what ive come to believe that for some women who dont ovulate high blood sugar may be their devil and it definately is mine
let me preface this by saying that there is no one size fits all eating plan for someone with hormonal issues for some women cysts irregular cycles lack of ovulation and too much testosterone and its effects are directly related to bad insulin regulation in their body for these women they may be able to restore better regularity with avoiding blood sugar spikes by not eating carbohydrates therefore eliminating the insulin problem that is why so many women can conceive with metformin or glucophage because these medicines work at that level
seriously though my closest friends are fun real and honest good entertaining in love with life a little crazy down to earth deep and incapable of bs
cate what did you play on the computer then
i am given glimpses of the why and the good and the reasons and the plan the bigger picture and the necessity for some to not fit the mold
from anthro

[Audentia]

I really don't understand what we are supposed to get from those spam emails... so weird.

[Bladez]

*LOL* those ones read like a bad acid trip!

Tho, I'm sure Lewis Carroll could make sense of it!

[Virgo Nightingale]

They're written (or copied and pasted from random crap) like that in an attempt to fool spam filters. If the software detects a good amount of text with few red flag words, it assumes it's a legit email and lets it go through. Though I don't understand the point of the different sizes, colors and justifications. :confused:

[Red Kittie Kat]

That's probably to keep you reading ... ooh this part must be something different lol :p

[Lilithness]

my co-worker got some interesting spam at his house one day. the text inside wasn't what was interesting so much as the address. for some reason they had his last name as "Jynkimithiad" which is ridiculously nothing like his last name.

[Virgo Nightingale]

Geez, another one today:


Yummy fabric ready to ship
snacks NUTS i would die without nuts i love roasted almonds cashews peanuts i also love those roasted edamame they taste like nuts even though theyre not and nuts taste really good with a few slices of swiss cheese also deli meat slices celery with peanut butter on it a few whole grain crackers with cheese beef jerky sugar free snack packs stuffed mushrooms hard boiled eggs string cheese protein bars crudites and more NUTS
and the dishes she cleans for me i dont even have to rinse before putting things in the dishwasher anymore and how warm she keeps my toesies while im sitting at the desk working on the computer who needs slippers it seems her only desire in life is to be close to us and all she asks for is an occasional pet and some food and water truly my lowest maintenance friend
let me explain Buoy
she follows me around all day just in case she might be needed for something anything cute little penny is just a wee dog but she feels strongly that part of her duty is to scare the crap out of anyone who gets near our house just so they know no one is going to mess with her family not on her watch she is undeterred by bigger animals and scary men- they all get yelled at to stay away
but i couldnt stop looking at the picture because it shows the place where i played for the first 12 years of my life
dear anne shirley its been a long time since i last wrote but i need your advice i am planning a primary activity for this spring since our theme for the year is my eternal family and we like to have our activities point the children to what they are learning i thought it might be nice if we have a picnic on or near the grounds of the mt timpanogos temple and let them bask in the beauty of that place and reflect on the importance of their own eternal family
from toast
like this one for instance my older brother uploaded it while reminiscing about the old buggie he rebuilt in the 80s
remember when the weather was warm and we would go to the park when daddy got home from work and we would bring homemade bread and fruit to eat for dinner and we would be drenched in golden light and the cousins would come meet us for some wild rides down the slide
valentines day preparations
we gave the universe one out- if grant found a job he loved before springtime wed stay put even though we wanted to go to cali really bad and even though grant had been looking for a different job for a long time
i had a really tumultuous teenager-hood i was a happy and smart little kid it was surprising when so much angst welled up inside me
she didnt want to print off her name- signing was a must
and then i realized i love her so much
i remember that too it was really fun i hope it gets warm again real soon i cant wait to go to the park again with you two love mom
what do you look for in a best friend