Crit for Work In Progress

[pen1susa]

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m143/samrossel/holywater.jpg

Hey so this a work in progress, its for a made up bottled water company called Holy Mountain Water. I'm trying to get the Holy right but can't seem to, the water is supposed to be ripples in the water. I'm just sorta stuck in a rut, it just looks so flat/amateurish and am trying to push it to a nicer appearance but am not sure how. Anyhow thoughts/suggestions would be very helpful, thanks.

-Sam

[PrintDriver]

I keep trying to make your word "water" read as a relfection of "holy," which is because of the reflection of the cross.

This being homework of some sort, you can get away with the Holy Water reference. I seriously doubt it would fly on the common market. If the name is Holy Mountain, you need to put the words "Holy Mountain" in there, not assume an intuitive leap on the consumers' part.

Back to the image though... Try not to use your words as the shapes you are trying to accomplish. That is making them more than illegible. Start with the shapes and try putting in the words. Sounds the same but isn't. Do up some sketches (either comp or by hand, I don't want to start that argument ;)). You are stuck in a concept and need to get out. Look at some photos of Alaskan mountains rising over lakes. That might get you some ideas.

[The Zep]

It's not meant to be a logo, isn't it?
It's just an artwork, maybe a poster, am I right?

[Totem-Media]

Yeah, "holy water" is not the same as "Holy Mountain Water." One is used in religious ceremonies and the other is a drink.

I see what you're trying to do, but I'm only seeing the H and O and reading "HOPE," not HOLY in your mountain.

[drawingguy]

I'm not sure you want to spell water with an upside down cross.

[Yossarian]

If this is a logo you shouldn't be working in color yet. It needs to work in just black and white first.

When it's time to start thinking about colors, ask yourself this question. "What colors do I associate with nice, clean, refreshing drinking water?" I tend not to think of yellow and brown, especially yellow and brown used together. I find it decidedly unrefreshing.

[Grfk Dzgn]

I read that as:

HOE
WEAR

...and thought you spelt wear wrong.

[Silent$nake]

I'm not sure you want to spell water with an upside down cross.

Ya, that might not go so well. But i like how u made the "water" text feel ripply. And "Holy" is kinda trippy lol

[lucdesaulniers]

I'm not sure you want to spell water with an upside down cross.

Not I would want to drink it!:eek:

[gomez09]

i thought its for a church activity or charity program.. not for manufacturing bottled water

[imtom]

..

[GrumpyKate]

I saw
HOE
WEER

Is it a logo or a poster/advert? Two different things to design. Which one are your going to do?

Holy Mountain might want to branch out into juice. . . .

[seamas]

I think you need to seriously clarify what you are trying to get across and work out several sketches.


Are you trying to be funny?

Bottled water that is implied to be "holy water" has "FAIL" written all over it.

Not sure what other denominations make use of Holy Water, but I would venture a guess that the idea of commercially available drinking water marketed as "holy water" would be offensive as hell to many Catholics. Hell, I haven't been a Catholic in decades and the idea still revolts me.