Need Critique

[WR]

ok for those who would like to know what it is for, read the brief sheet first.

this is just the first week within the project and i've very quickly put this idea together... let me know what you think...!

feedback and suggestions wanted...!



click this to read what its supposed to be ---> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/abdulrehman/Brief.jpg

[WR]

the first idea

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/abdulrehman/doublespread1.jpg

[PrintDriver]

Check your spelling.
Weapon, you are going to have to try to do better. Unless your screen printing specs are putting SERIOUS constraints on you.
Do a bunch more sketches. Go look at some illustrated books or illustrated poetry books.
You have a two page spread, can use colors and textures to much better effect.

PD is a grande format digital print dude. His advice/opinions may not apply to the 4color/offset/web world of printing