Kool
10-06-2011, 04:24 PM
He says some pretty funny stuff sometimes. He says a lot of other boring technical stuff too that probably helps someone now and then. But for some reason I feel compelled to post a bunch of the funny ones.
Here are some recent goodies...
Nobody needs a toilet in their logo. Not even the suggestion of a lifting lid...
Even toilet makers don't put toilets on their logo.
Hmm... at least if I was gonna offer a scam contest for designers, I'd make the prize a trophy that's both shiny and glittery. Then they could put it on their shelf and point to it. If I could make it smell like bacon, even better.
I charge 12lbs of bacon per idea. How many would you like to buy?
Every time a logo changes, someone needs a sign... :D
How many people does it take saying "Photoshop is fine for logos" before everyone starts believing it?
I'll print anything you send me. But if you want that logo on the side of a building in 3D letters that light up, it will cost you money for me to fix your photoshop logo into a vector thing that a CNC will read. And I'm going to up my price very soon. No joke. This photoshop thing is already rampant. And it is wrong. Anyone that believes Photoshop is for logos should have their computer taken away. Or at least banned from selling their creations as Graphic Design.
</rant>
Unless you go to Friendly's.
The Happy Endings there are Ice Cream.
But did you have a representative selection of fish? Say a bass, and, and a catfish, a pickerel, and a trout...A rainbow trout to represent the gay fish... :p
Nope. Not surprised at all.
I'm currently looking at the good old Photoshop jpg placed in an Illustrator .eps file.
It frightens me that this can still happen... Adobe should put a keyboard voltage capacitor in there to give 'corrective stimulus' if someone tries to do that.
"are you sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
"yes"
"Are you REALLY sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
"yes"
"OK. You asked for it." BZZZZZZLLBZZZZLBZZZZZzzzzzzZAP!
"ow"
How can it scream 'Diet Coke' when the label is too fat for the can?
For years I was putting oil paintings into a local juried art show, sometimes getting in, sometimes not. There was quite an uproar the year a little 3" x 4" thing done in Photoshop won the first prize (the three top prizes got their own show together in the fall.) It was an abstract Photoshop whiz bang, not even anything truly awe inspiring.
The next year I entered a big orange-yellow square and called it "Close up of a School Bus at One DPI"
Needless to say, I was juried out, but some of them got the point.
Haven't been back to that Arts Council since.
Here's a few classics...
I only got into tech theatre cuz I wanted to be one of those guys wearing the cool headphones...
Seriously...
Could be the part that needs coffee is the component between keyboard and chair?
Hmm..."I just look at the Playboy mag to try to find the retouching"...
Yeah, that might just fly. No one believes it when I say I'm reading the articles.
A calculator (so the wrong scaling can be justified.)
A clock (so you know that 3 minutes after you send that 600mb wad-file via FTP you can go home.
A Calendar (for marking GDF special days - you thought I might mention something about deadlines there, didn't you.)
I want an alpaca. Do they eat bad proofs?
How would I know you're 15? They're brass, not crystal.
Some colleges are like the community daycare pageant. The kids paid their entry fee, they get a part in the show. No one said it had to be a good part.
I think the toilet paper roll must be a chick thing. I don't care what way it goes on there. If it goes on. Why do people get so upset if you just leave the new roll on top of the old tube for the next person to change while they're sittin there with nuthin to do??? At least I got out the new roll. Sheesh.
We're sorry.The designer gods are busy right now preparing bacon in a shiny new frying pan that attracted their attenion while wandering in the baking aisle to pick up a cake mix...or was it a pie filling?
Here are some recent goodies...
Nobody needs a toilet in their logo. Not even the suggestion of a lifting lid...
Even toilet makers don't put toilets on their logo.
Hmm... at least if I was gonna offer a scam contest for designers, I'd make the prize a trophy that's both shiny and glittery. Then they could put it on their shelf and point to it. If I could make it smell like bacon, even better.
I charge 12lbs of bacon per idea. How many would you like to buy?
Every time a logo changes, someone needs a sign... :D
How many people does it take saying "Photoshop is fine for logos" before everyone starts believing it?
I'll print anything you send me. But if you want that logo on the side of a building in 3D letters that light up, it will cost you money for me to fix your photoshop logo into a vector thing that a CNC will read. And I'm going to up my price very soon. No joke. This photoshop thing is already rampant. And it is wrong. Anyone that believes Photoshop is for logos should have their computer taken away. Or at least banned from selling their creations as Graphic Design.
</rant>
Unless you go to Friendly's.
The Happy Endings there are Ice Cream.
But did you have a representative selection of fish? Say a bass, and, and a catfish, a pickerel, and a trout...A rainbow trout to represent the gay fish... :p
Nope. Not surprised at all.
I'm currently looking at the good old Photoshop jpg placed in an Illustrator .eps file.
It frightens me that this can still happen... Adobe should put a keyboard voltage capacitor in there to give 'corrective stimulus' if someone tries to do that.
"are you sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
"yes"
"Are you REALLY sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
"yes"
"OK. You asked for it." BZZZZZZLLBZZZZLBZZZZZzzzzzzZAP!
"ow"
How can it scream 'Diet Coke' when the label is too fat for the can?
For years I was putting oil paintings into a local juried art show, sometimes getting in, sometimes not. There was quite an uproar the year a little 3" x 4" thing done in Photoshop won the first prize (the three top prizes got their own show together in the fall.) It was an abstract Photoshop whiz bang, not even anything truly awe inspiring.
The next year I entered a big orange-yellow square and called it "Close up of a School Bus at One DPI"
Needless to say, I was juried out, but some of them got the point.
Haven't been back to that Arts Council since.
Here's a few classics...
I only got into tech theatre cuz I wanted to be one of those guys wearing the cool headphones...
Seriously...
Could be the part that needs coffee is the component between keyboard and chair?
Hmm..."I just look at the Playboy mag to try to find the retouching"...
Yeah, that might just fly. No one believes it when I say I'm reading the articles.
A calculator (so the wrong scaling can be justified.)
A clock (so you know that 3 minutes after you send that 600mb wad-file via FTP you can go home.
A Calendar (for marking GDF special days - you thought I might mention something about deadlines there, didn't you.)
I want an alpaca. Do they eat bad proofs?
How would I know you're 15? They're brass, not crystal.
Some colleges are like the community daycare pageant. The kids paid their entry fee, they get a part in the show. No one said it had to be a good part.
I think the toilet paper roll must be a chick thing. I don't care what way it goes on there. If it goes on. Why do people get so upset if you just leave the new roll on top of the old tube for the next person to change while they're sittin there with nuthin to do??? At least I got out the new roll. Sheesh.
We're sorry.The designer gods are busy right now preparing bacon in a shiny new frying pan that attracted their attenion while wandering in the baking aisle to pick up a cake mix...or was it a pie filling?