Madora
05-03-2004, 09:39 PM
Cross-posted from my LJ... I posted this Friday:
While I was at work today I decided a few things:
1) I NEED to get out of that job.
2) No job is worth the amount of stress I have at this one.
It’s not that I have a difficult job. In fact, under *normal* circumstances my current position would be a cake walk. I swear though, my boss has to be like Satan spawn or something. I was “talked to” three times today. Not about stuff that was any big deal and not about stuff that wouldn’t normally happen occasionally no matter who was in this position.
To illustrate my point: She asked me to create a brochure. She wanted it formatted exactly like one we did for a different company, the text had roughly the same layout and word count and I was to use the same graphics. So basically, same brochure just a few sentences different. Well, I opened the previous brochure and substituted the text while she stood over my shoulder and watched. Well, I meant to hit “Save As” so I could give it a different name... instead I hit “Save” by mistake and accidently saved over the previous brochure. (Please to note: I have NEVER done that before in the 2 and a half years I’ve been in this job!) Honest mistake right? It would only take me 10 minutes or less to fix. My boss proceeds to say “Meghan, that is not acceptable. You need to be better about not doing that. You do it all the time.”
WTF?? I’ve NEVER done that before!!! Yet here she is telling me to be better because I do it all the time???
Every time I turn something in to her, even if it is a first draft, I feel as if she scrutinizes over it just to find something to be mad at me about. I feel like she is looking to find some reason to get rid of me... which BTW she hasn’t yet been able to find anything to even write me up about.
It’s just way to stressful to be in a situation like that. If it were stuff like me constantly being late or really pancakeing up my job I’d understand, but this is stuff as petty as not having a first draft being absolutely perfect and ready for print... even if the mistakes were text related (stuff she and other members of our staff are responsible for) and not design/layout related.
3) I need to look into Stress Leave benefits and what I need to do to actually go on Stress Leave.
When you spend at least 20 min. of the work day (that is only 5 hours long) sitting in a bathroom stall crying your eyes out in frustration and feeling like there is no one in the office you can go to... SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG.
I’ve never been like this with anything else in my life, so I’m fairly certain it’s the job and not me. Even when I was ultra stressed out about my freshman art review in college I was not crying over my frustrations. I felt like I could work towards getting rid of those. Now I feel like no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do it will never be good enough for my boss.
4) Said Stress Leave will begin as soon after I get back from VA Beach as possible. If I do not have Stress Leave benefits I will put in my resignation as soon as I return, effective June 14th.
I’m setting this up as a timeline so that I have some time to get things together and hopefully line up another job. If I do not have another job by then I feel that I have to go through with the resignation anyway, if only to force myself into action on the job front. I will never leave this job if I don’t set a date and force myself to go through with it.
5) Beginning this evening I am filling out applications, writing cover letters and sending out resumes anywhere and everywhere I can.
No excuses. No saying “Oh, I can do that later,” or “I still have a week before the posting closes.” It will be done this weekend and I will continue my campaign to find a new job until I succeed!
So, I feel a bit better now that I’ve written all of this out. I also feel more determined to follow through with all of this. Today I reached my breaking point sitting in the bathroom crying (because my *new* office doesn’t have a door like my old one used to) because I felt like my boss was out to get me and there was nothing I could do about it. Since I believe a person is solely responsible for their happiness or lack thereof: I’ll be damned if I sit around any longer and let my boss make me feel miserable in this stupid part-time piddley ass job that I don’t like anyway!![b]
"Who am I? Where did I come from? Who are these demons, and why do they relentlessly cross my path?"
While I was at work today I decided a few things:
1) I NEED to get out of that job.
2) No job is worth the amount of stress I have at this one.
It’s not that I have a difficult job. In fact, under *normal* circumstances my current position would be a cake walk. I swear though, my boss has to be like Satan spawn or something. I was “talked to” three times today. Not about stuff that was any big deal and not about stuff that wouldn’t normally happen occasionally no matter who was in this position.
To illustrate my point: She asked me to create a brochure. She wanted it formatted exactly like one we did for a different company, the text had roughly the same layout and word count and I was to use the same graphics. So basically, same brochure just a few sentences different. Well, I opened the previous brochure and substituted the text while she stood over my shoulder and watched. Well, I meant to hit “Save As” so I could give it a different name... instead I hit “Save” by mistake and accidently saved over the previous brochure. (Please to note: I have NEVER done that before in the 2 and a half years I’ve been in this job!) Honest mistake right? It would only take me 10 minutes or less to fix. My boss proceeds to say “Meghan, that is not acceptable. You need to be better about not doing that. You do it all the time.”
WTF?? I’ve NEVER done that before!!! Yet here she is telling me to be better because I do it all the time???
Every time I turn something in to her, even if it is a first draft, I feel as if she scrutinizes over it just to find something to be mad at me about. I feel like she is looking to find some reason to get rid of me... which BTW she hasn’t yet been able to find anything to even write me up about.
It’s just way to stressful to be in a situation like that. If it were stuff like me constantly being late or really pancakeing up my job I’d understand, but this is stuff as petty as not having a first draft being absolutely perfect and ready for print... even if the mistakes were text related (stuff she and other members of our staff are responsible for) and not design/layout related.
3) I need to look into Stress Leave benefits and what I need to do to actually go on Stress Leave.
When you spend at least 20 min. of the work day (that is only 5 hours long) sitting in a bathroom stall crying your eyes out in frustration and feeling like there is no one in the office you can go to... SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG.
I’ve never been like this with anything else in my life, so I’m fairly certain it’s the job and not me. Even when I was ultra stressed out about my freshman art review in college I was not crying over my frustrations. I felt like I could work towards getting rid of those. Now I feel like no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do it will never be good enough for my boss.
4) Said Stress Leave will begin as soon after I get back from VA Beach as possible. If I do not have Stress Leave benefits I will put in my resignation as soon as I return, effective June 14th.
I’m setting this up as a timeline so that I have some time to get things together and hopefully line up another job. If I do not have another job by then I feel that I have to go through with the resignation anyway, if only to force myself into action on the job front. I will never leave this job if I don’t set a date and force myself to go through with it.
5) Beginning this evening I am filling out applications, writing cover letters and sending out resumes anywhere and everywhere I can.
No excuses. No saying “Oh, I can do that later,” or “I still have a week before the posting closes.” It will be done this weekend and I will continue my campaign to find a new job until I succeed!
So, I feel a bit better now that I’ve written all of this out. I also feel more determined to follow through with all of this. Today I reached my breaking point sitting in the bathroom crying (because my *new* office doesn’t have a door like my old one used to) because I felt like my boss was out to get me and there was nothing I could do about it. Since I believe a person is solely responsible for their happiness or lack thereof: I’ll be damned if I sit around any longer and let my boss make me feel miserable in this stupid part-time piddley ass job that I don’t like anyway!![b]
"Who am I? Where did I come from? Who are these demons, and why do they relentlessly cross my path?"