Patrick Shannon
04-01-2005, 07:58 PM
I was originally going to type it in my post under the Friday topic, but this is just too rich....too rich.
Basically this week has been utterly horrid. Just about every walk-in job received has been demanded rush, and the salesmen are taking everything! But here's the problem: the customers are not accepting what they exactly asked for, they keep batting things back asking for changes (totally not reflected on the original proof) and still expecting it in the same time frame. Before I get to my point, here's some amusing things I have to get off my chest.
One of those jobs is from a female 'designer' who sent her files to me before leaving for vacation. They're in InDesign CS, I have 2, I've told her this on another occasion, she f**ks up. Thus she asks me to take care of setting her reader spread into printer spreads (after trying to derail her with emphasising additional cost) and I basically have to extract pages from a PDF and do everything by hand (it's worth noting that if I had CS, I could have done this so much quicker and easier.) I arrange the pages in order, she comes in to proof (I thought you were on vacation?) and decides to rearrange pages. I have to do everything by hand again. She comes in again, rearranges the pages AGAIN and even creates a mock-up by taping pages where they go with scotch tape.
I follow directions and get to the middle pages and find that I have black pages between two pages (remember, saddle stiched booklet pages have to be divisible by four in order to be binded/stapled. She made 18 pages, and had just wasted yet another great amount of my time. Mein fuhrer must have been on the phone with her for twenty minutes trying to make her understand the concept of printer spreads and why they need to be in sets of four.
The rest of the week is spent practically cleaning up Word files and Publisher files (we even get a WordPerfect document, is that program even still around?), I won't get into that. And almost all jobs are supposedly 'rush.'
So here's another story, because it begins to work into the punchline. This morning, I try to get started (YET AGAIN) on my alcohol marketing posters that a customer gave me (good project), and I get interrupted (YET AGAIN) not five minutes into it by mein fuhrer who has another rush job.......which came in after 6PM last night (WE CLOSE AT 5:30!!) and is needed in twenty minutes! Naturally the customer just brings the stuff in on horrid print outs, no F'N way I'm recreating this (especially in twenty minutes). So it's off to the light table to do a horrid paste up.
Project is finished, deadline hits. I try to start on my beer project again, here comes mein fuhrer AGAIN. 'They have a few changes on this,' he says. Here's what's even more rich, they are now sending the computer file (oh yeah, it's in Word) that they originally did this on (sooooooo........why not do it yourself?). :::UPDATE AS I TYPE THIS:::: This project is still haunting me again, the death date of the person in this letter that the customer did is May 20, 2005. ??????
And now here is probably the most surreal moment proving that logic does not make sense here in the copy shop. I finally yell out 'THIS is exactly why every other place around here charges rush! If you charged rush, then customers would stop to think about what they're turning in before they pay that, and it would eliminate the flippitant bounce backs!'
His response? 'I know, it's ridiculous!'
/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif /DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif /DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif
I think I must have stood there in a stupor for about twenty five seconds after hearing that. In fact, I think I am now dumber for hearing that response.
Patrick Shannon
'Dear valued customer, go home and die. Signed, your friendly graphic artist.'
http://www.patrickshannon.com/mwwc_sm.gif
My War With Culture (http://www.mywarwithculture.com)
Political incorrectness reinvented.
Basically this week has been utterly horrid. Just about every walk-in job received has been demanded rush, and the salesmen are taking everything! But here's the problem: the customers are not accepting what they exactly asked for, they keep batting things back asking for changes (totally not reflected on the original proof) and still expecting it in the same time frame. Before I get to my point, here's some amusing things I have to get off my chest.
One of those jobs is from a female 'designer' who sent her files to me before leaving for vacation. They're in InDesign CS, I have 2, I've told her this on another occasion, she f**ks up. Thus she asks me to take care of setting her reader spread into printer spreads (after trying to derail her with emphasising additional cost) and I basically have to extract pages from a PDF and do everything by hand (it's worth noting that if I had CS, I could have done this so much quicker and easier.) I arrange the pages in order, she comes in to proof (I thought you were on vacation?) and decides to rearrange pages. I have to do everything by hand again. She comes in again, rearranges the pages AGAIN and even creates a mock-up by taping pages where they go with scotch tape.
I follow directions and get to the middle pages and find that I have black pages between two pages (remember, saddle stiched booklet pages have to be divisible by four in order to be binded/stapled. She made 18 pages, and had just wasted yet another great amount of my time. Mein fuhrer must have been on the phone with her for twenty minutes trying to make her understand the concept of printer spreads and why they need to be in sets of four.
The rest of the week is spent practically cleaning up Word files and Publisher files (we even get a WordPerfect document, is that program even still around?), I won't get into that. And almost all jobs are supposedly 'rush.'
So here's another story, because it begins to work into the punchline. This morning, I try to get started (YET AGAIN) on my alcohol marketing posters that a customer gave me (good project), and I get interrupted (YET AGAIN) not five minutes into it by mein fuhrer who has another rush job.......which came in after 6PM last night (WE CLOSE AT 5:30!!) and is needed in twenty minutes! Naturally the customer just brings the stuff in on horrid print outs, no F'N way I'm recreating this (especially in twenty minutes). So it's off to the light table to do a horrid paste up.
Project is finished, deadline hits. I try to start on my beer project again, here comes mein fuhrer AGAIN. 'They have a few changes on this,' he says. Here's what's even more rich, they are now sending the computer file (oh yeah, it's in Word) that they originally did this on (sooooooo........why not do it yourself?). :::UPDATE AS I TYPE THIS:::: This project is still haunting me again, the death date of the person in this letter that the customer did is May 20, 2005. ??????
And now here is probably the most surreal moment proving that logic does not make sense here in the copy shop. I finally yell out 'THIS is exactly why every other place around here charges rush! If you charged rush, then customers would stop to think about what they're turning in before they pay that, and it would eliminate the flippitant bounce backs!'
His response? 'I know, it's ridiculous!'
/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif /DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif /DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/eyecrazy.gif
I think I must have stood there in a stupor for about twenty five seconds after hearing that. In fact, I think I am now dumber for hearing that response.
Patrick Shannon
'Dear valued customer, go home and die. Signed, your friendly graphic artist.'
http://www.patrickshannon.com/mwwc_sm.gif
My War With Culture (http://www.mywarwithculture.com)
Political incorrectness reinvented.