Graphics Design + quarter Life crisis is the worst combination possible.

[Mojovonious]

Well, the day looms near. On monday, i'll be doing my stage. Where? I have no idea. My idiot teacher decided to tell us last minute, because she waited till the last minute to get stages. So we missed out on a lot of good oppourtunities.

One company I can go to, well, someone who did their stage there last year got hired, on a contract basis. And the other place I can go to, its just a woman who designs webistes, and I figured if I do well enough, she might call me once in a while for some help. I can still have a full time job and make some extra cash on the side.

But, stage lasts 3 weeks, then its graduation day.

This is where I'm losing all hope. When I started off, I thought being a graphic/web designer would be such an amazing career, where if I would be good at it, I'd make lots of money. I could work for a company to start off, then eventually open my own company.

Well, reality dawned onto me in many forms.

Please, correct me if i'm wrong. I have no idea how it works in the real world, but this is what I picked up so far.

You essentially have 3 choices.

Working for a company
Working for a design company
Doing freelance

I have problems with all 3. Mainly security issues. If I work for a company, it would only be on contract, so i could not have a full time job. After finishing a contract, i would have to go look for another job. Looking for a new job every 3 months doesn't seem like it'll lead to a happy life.

Design companies are very competitive. And frankly, I'm not that good. Granted I spend lots of time trying to be as good as the best designers, i'm still not very good.

As for freelance, I've heard so many horror stories. People having to go back to work in grocery stores because there isn't enough work.

Once again, it all leads to security. I don't care about the money, as long as I don't have to struggle.

What really gets to me is that for 3 years, i tried harder than anyone else in my classes, learning CSS on my own, doing at least 3 tutorials everynight, learning as many programs as I can.

None of that matters. I was so proud of the portfolio I got online, because I did it all in CSS, which I taught myself. Now I look at it, and wish to god I hadn't sacrified high marks in other classes to get the best looking portfolio.

So i'm 23, and I have no clue what I'm going to do.

Does everyone go through this? Do most of you live lives that are laced with struggle?

Sorry to bring everyone down, but I just want some answers, so at the very least, i can get an idea of how the indistry is.

Thanks.

[morea]

I deal with struggle and self-doubt almost constantly, Mojovonious. It's a personality trait that I do my best to deal with, but sometimes it still drags me down.

Well, they say that you have to suffer for art, and I sometimes wonder if that is true. We do it because we love it, but it can also be pretty darned frustrating at times.

You're definitely on the right track - sounds like you are going above and beyond to get where you want to be, and that will get you far. You're still young, plenty of time to try different things and see what fits best for you.

While each job option will have its drawbacks, they also have benefits! Be strong. Work hard. Never stop learning! Hang in there.

and you should read the book called 'Being Happy' by Andrew Matthews. Seriously. I'm not into 'self-help' kind of stuff, but that book presents a new and different way of looking at the world that is really refreshing.

'They say time is the fire in which we burn.'
- Dr. Tolian Soran</font>

[Mojovonious]

thank you for the thought out response, morea, i appreciate it.

I realize i'm still quite young, but its hard when all your friends are making close to 50,000 a year, and I still work at subway. 'Don't worry guys,' I'd say, 'my future is bright.'

I would love to do design for a living, I love doing it. But i'm not willing to scrifice the well being of my future family for something I love. I'm considering following another field (networking) and doing design on the side.

But what really hurts is that I was lied to for 3 years by my teachers, who would tell us we'd be getting placed into jobs, making 60,000 a year, because they get paid per student, and they don't want people dropping out.

I really had high hopes.

Btw, i assume you get one of these posts at least every week. :)

[morea]

you know what has really helped ME a lot? When I feel overwhelmed, I keep a journal. I write anything and everything that crosses my mind - even if I think it is ridiculous. By doing that, it forces me to put my thoughts into words so I can get them out of my head... and once they are out, I can let them go. It really works!

The beauty of freelance work is that how much you profit from it is often related to how much you put into it. You are a hard worker, willing to do what you have to do, and remarkably mature for your age. You can work a part time job doing whatever you want as a fallback position - maybe typesetting at a newspaper, which would give you some practical prepress type experience? Or just do something you enjoy that might be completely unrelated. That will likely cover your health insurance so you don;t have to worry about that expense while working for yourself.

I made up personal business cards that I hand out to anyone and everyone as part of my networking experience. Maybe the people I give them to will never need any design work done, but maybe they know someone who will!

It's tough when you feel betrayed by your teachers or others whose advice you have taken, but there truly are good opportunities out there, and I am sure you will find one.

While unemployed, I worked with a career counselor who told me that each job you take is a 'stepping stone' on to bigger and better things. Try to look at it that way! It really helps.

'They say time is the fire in which we burn.'
- Dr. Tolian Soran</font>

[Neuro]

There is nothing wrong with doing the networking thing but I think you should at least TRY the design field first. Don't give up. I think you would regret never trying.

Also don't let some ppl's deception ruin you. I know how that is. I am currently in a dead end job were promises have been made and broken over and over again. It does sting. I totally understand that but you have to be better than them!! That's the important thing. Don't let their deception drag you away from something that could be huge.

Morea touched on a lot of great points. I have read that same 'Happy' book and it is great! I would also recommend you find books about designing done by freelance designers. It gives you a great perspective of what they have gone through to get where they are. I think it will be inspiring and enlightening. Jeff Fisher's 'The Savy Designers Guide...' is a perfect example. The best part is he swings by here too.

That brings me to another thing you should do. Make friends on here. Find out more about the ppl on here. Morea and I (we live together - bf & gf) have found great friends on here. Some of them have been where you are and are now on the other side. So they have ideas, suggestions and push that we need sometimes. There are also others that have their own businesses and give great insight to how they got there.

Just do me a favor and don't give up! Not yet!! You are right about you being young. You are and you need to give it a try. Just keep your chin up and keep moving forward.

Hang in there!!

** Personal Blog (http://neuro-i-carmotur.blogspot.com)
** Business Blog (http://catseyecreations.blogspot.com)

[Mojovonious]

Thanks guys,

I think ill pick those books up. Thankfully, I have lots of ambitions, projects I would like to complete before i leave the earth. Mostly, I just want to do something cretaive, something I could leave behind, something with meaning.

Design is great for that, and i hope i could find a good job doing it. Thanks for the welcome too.

btw, my site could me found at

8bitstudios.net/andrew (http://8bitstudios.net/andrew)

not the strongest, but i just started with CSS.

thanks again, i really appreicate the responses.

[D-Zine]

Great points and advice guys ^^

The way I feel is that every career has its ups and downs. That's life, and things happen. I would much rather have those ups and down doing something I love.

It takes time to get to where you want to be, and to be making the money that you think you should be making. Some people get there right off...others work their way up from the bottom. Take my job for instance - I work for a small company that has 2 publications, both newspapers. I have been around alot of designers in ad agencies and such who looked down on my job and see me at the lower end of the business - its easy to see when they feel they are better than you as a designer. Sure being at this job isn't my ideal design job whatsoever and sometimes I feel like I am wasting my talent...I have been there so long (5 years) that sometimes I feel almost as if I have wasted my career at this job and the lack of creativity is a real bummer - to the point that sometimes when I take on some freelance, I am worried I am not good enough. It even keeps me from trying to get extra work at times. Then I take on something and realize that hey...I've got the talent and I can do this. It helps swing my confidence in my work back into the right direction!

So..your first design job, or first few even may not be exactly what you are looking for but they will help you learn and help make you a better designer. As morea said...every one really is a stepping stone. You never stop learning in this field. The longer I am a part of this forum, the more I realize I don't know and the more I learn here. This place is an excellent resource for you!

I think that we all go through struggles at some point in this field. As I stated above, I have a lack of confidence in my work frequently but at the same time I can't imagine any other career. I don't have a 'back up' career and I don't intend to get one either. I have goals and dreams that I haven't reached yet, but I haven't given up on them either. You have to decide in your heart and mind what you really want to do and what is best for you.

I remember thinking when I was in college that I wanted to work in some big company and make lots of money too. When I graduated and actually got my foot in the door, I realized that wasn't what I wanted at all. I of course wanted to design but I didn't really want to be in some huge company where my boss had no idea who I was...and money - yeah its great but I would rather work in a place where I feel comfortable and happy at...then making tons of money and being completely miserable. You have to find whats right for you. To do that...you have to step into the field and take your chances. This is the best time for you to do it. If you mess up - its ok because you are still young..and you are single so your responsibilites are minimal compared to 10 years from now or so.

So my thinking is you have to suck up the lack of confidence and just get out there. Continue working hard and doing your best and take a chance!

'No more yanky my wanky! The donga need food!!' - heh

Post Edited (D-Zine) : 4/13/2005 3:42:50 AM GMT

[Mojovonious]

Thanks D-Zine.

These are the exact responses I was hoping for. I love to learn new things, and I think I'm a rather quick learner. I want to accumulate as much as I possibly can in my lifespan. I guess the next step is for me to just get out into the world and SEE how it works, and not base my decisions on insecurities, specualtions and fears.

I'm very interested in the Business, learning how things work. I know that if I go into a company, Ill work crazy hard, because I strive to be the best I can. I don't like to compete with other people, but I end up hating myself if I know I could be doing something better, and I'm not trying. In a sense, I compete against myself. Hopefully, this is something employers are looking for.

As an example, I really got into Web Standards. I won't do a site if it can't get validated. So I brought it up once in class, and no one knew whatI was talking about, not even the teacher. Most people in my program see it as school work, while I see it as something to be proud of. Some of the most recent and best parts of my life have been slaving away on a website, and then validating it and being greeted with a nice 'VALID CSS!' or 'VALID HTML!'

Its really a big thing for me. So hopefully, i could keep doing what I love and make enough money to support a family, and to give them a good life.

But what do you guys think about how websites are becoming less of an art and more of a product? Do you think sites like templatemonster.com will ruin the internet? In my experience, if a client could get a website for $1,000 off a template site, and pay someone to throw content in for 300 bucks, or pays a designer $5000, they'll take the template. That kind of worries me.

[GTMUK]

I've been having the same issues recently - wondering whether to jack in my current job and take a risk on something I've wanted to do for a while (being creative) - I've looked down the graphics design route but £9,000 before I even get started is too much for me due to the UKs new government fees scheme.

So.....I've decided to throw everything I've got into web design as a first step and gain as much knowledge as I can - it's the first step but your last point is something that is worrying me - because I don't want to get stuck doing generic civil service websites with boring images and colour schemes - I want to do something that allows a bit of freedom (don't we all) - I think they're will always be a need for web designers though because some people seek out the individual style as opposed to the mass produced blandness of bulk templates......the key I think is having enough skills that your individual style is competent enough to beat off templatemonster.com et all's obvious lure....

[Magnus]

And then you can be like D-zine and myself, and be stuck at a job where you don't do anything creative, and begin to doubt your own abilities.

"Sometimes I do what I want...most of the time, I do what I have to." (Cicero, from "Gladiator")

"There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path." (Morpheus, from"The Matrix")


"It's not cheating if you win...do what you have to do, but don't sacrifice your own honour in the process." (Taken from my iaido instructor, and modified by me)

"I am serving my time in hell on earth...at the job I am currently employed at." (Magnus, about his job)