A little hash-up of a business card, please go at it .....

[bdamit]

My second effort: I have used an image of my own, typically Mallorcan fashion.
I want to portray a simple, clean image.

My strengths are technical illustration, layoutwork and photo and 3D.
I have a few happy clients now, and wish to leave a trail...

The card. I am stuffed for fonts at the moment, so where do I go with this then?
Please be brutal,but pleasant.http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Thanks awhttp://www.graphicdesignforum.com/undefinedfully.

[EC]

I love the image!

But I don't think the top fonts are working. Too stretchy, not enough space to breathe.

Try using the bottom font for the whole sha-bang. Keep the type uniform where you can, maybe just make your name a bit bigger, everything else the same size? Nice to give the email a different color punch, and the bullets, too.

Overall, nice job!!

[bdamit]

Thanks EC. The top font is not pleasing, its true. when you say the same font, do you mean caps as well, or just the same spacing and less s t r e t c h i n e s s, because it is in fact, all the same font. I just did the stretching myself...I shall de-stretch it right away!

[LSD-ZIN]

Ben - what about a constructivist type font that shouts out for the top font ? These ussually seems to go with the white/blacl/red colour scheme.

WRT to the tel for the license plate why not put tel on the handle of the boot - would seem to fit better.

All in all, looks good!

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[EC]

yup, just less stretchy. :) I like how you did the numbers on the car myself. You put them in an unexpected place so ... I likee.

Something else you might try is not centering the text. Just for kicks and giggles of course.

[Bobbysky]

Yep EC touched on somethings I would have said, streching the text and centering the text. One thing I would do is use a thicker weighted text on your name, make it really stand out, then have a light version of your email address. And another thing, it's not very professional to have a hotmail address, invest 100 bucks and get yourself a website with your own url and email addresses, that Is in my opinion of course. You might also put graphic designer, photographer, and 3d on top of each other down the right side, but if not try and 'space or kern' it out not strech so that it aligns with the left and right side.

Good start though, I also like the picture of the old car. The phone numer was very clever, you might want to make 'Phone' as like a crome piece of the car, like a car emblem.

Bobbysky

[WR]

I'm liking the image a loy. Though the phone number idea is great, I'm not to sure about the legibilty. Just seems hard to work out for a few of the less clever. I didn't notice it too, not after some one mentioned it. I can imagine a person with the card in their hand looking from corner to corner for it. Try work on the legibility of that.

about the type, it's not working at all. How about having the type all vertical and right justifying it? Might get interesting... or leave it horizontal but right justify it all. Try it, see what happens and posts your discoveries.

You might want to consider introducing some of that green of the VW into the title too. That is a VW right? (1960's Mod special?)

With a Hotmail email address, I'd try and hide it a little, not having out up front as Bobby's said, it just seems to put a less professional image in minds of people. Try Gmail as an alternative, the name doesn't sound as bashed as Hotmail does. Know what I'm saying?

Keep going at it, it's almost there. Good luck!

[bdamit]

Crikey, I go to bed and when I get up, POP. There you all are. This is excellent, great ideas. I have to work now, but I'll churn out a few variations this evening, and get 'em posted.





ciao for niao.http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/thumbsup.gif

[bdamit]

Blimey. after some serious tweaking (read starting from scratch), I left the original idea, and then came back to it.


Too much red in the first attempt, disorganised, horrible, unfinished. So I killed the car, replaced it with parasols. I think its too empty now. Then I put the car back in, accidentally scaled up, and it looks better. The old text over the photo routine. Safe.


Tweaks later, I'm left with something I like, butmaybe it's a little confused now...





Thanks guys,any more?http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/thumbsup.gif http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/thumbsup.gif





PS sorry about the multiple images, got to cheat the one pic per post rule...

[EC]

Dude, these concepts are really beautiful. I am having a hard time choosing one. Just when I think I've got my favorite, another one catches my eye.

One thing I'd like to see is a less modern font, something a little more classic. Maybe, maybe ... a serif?

Maybe keep the web address in this font at the larger size as it is now, then compliment it with something more subtle ... smaller and tighter for lack of proper terms. The body text still seems a bit overwhelming, I'd love to see it compete less with the image. Again, just suggestions. Many of these stand on their own as excellent as they are.

Great job!

[Ulysses]

I like the first car design, but I kept seeing black and white dalmations in the window. Seems I was the only one!?
As for the other latter variations ... I just cannot choose one over the others.I'm thinking more on the right-most tow, but adding a black gradient at the bottom instead of the red block (it doesn't work for me).

[bdamit]

Hey thanks guys, I know this is going to do my (and your) head in. I've got this museum poster thing going on with the card right now.


EC: I thought I was going to get slated for using old fontshttp://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/biggrin.gif . I don't know if its a relevant comment, but the 'scene' in mallorca is abit young, and everything is 'up to the minute', or olde worlde traditional. I plumped fora modern minimalist font, as it suits my crowd a little better. I hope. Young architects and the like.


Itamused mewhen I read Bobbysky and WR comments about hotmail addresses, because I have been subconciously cringing every time I have giventhe 'hotmail' addressto someone, so I found a suitable web/email domain. Now I can get on with the website. Bet you can't waithttp://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif


Ulysses: I thought the original image was a bit busy, but only after I put the second lot together! If you refer to the reddish rusty one on the right,I agree that the reds compete a little. I'll go fiddle.


I am kind of stuck on the small one third from left and the similar neighbouring fourth, myself....

[Bobbysky]

Okay, the third one to the right on the top strikes my fancy and the one next to it (to the right), but there are a few more things until it there. One, what's your REAL NAME, i'm assuming it's BEN, but BEN WHAT. What I would do is replace the email address with your full name, then put your email address & phone number in smaller type directly below it. I don't know, compositionally, if this works, but you need your name in there. I like the way the card is going though. Your emai just doens't have to be as pronounced because your website is so bold, it's kinda redundent. Good work keep it up

[bdamit]

Ha good point, doubled up the web address!


I was hell bent on getting the web address on there, and I forgot my name. BUt the web is the important bit, so that can remain prominent, but I shall put a surname in there, somewhere. I wish my surname was SKY,- so clean and short. http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


'MITCHELL' is a swine to get to look right.http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/frusty.gif





Back tomorrow......http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

[EC]

I do think that's relevant! Good choice then. I do think you can stand to reduce the size a bit, though. I think that would make it look even MORE modern.

(And watch your edges, I noticed a couple of these were flush with the edge, leave room to consider that when you have them cut, they will shift around a bit ... don't want any important info. to get chopped.)

[Bobbysky]

Your last name isn't that long. Hey my real name is Robert Schuyler (pronounced Sky-ler), but I kinda got the bobbysky nickname when I was in grade school and it kinda stuck. I guess in that way i'm lucky, but Ben Mitchel isn't that big a name to deal with, it's much shorter than Ben@, plus is a lot more you can do with it. Run with it.

[bdamit]

Bobby, you missed an 'l' of the end of my name. hehe makes all the difference! Here's the revised edition with unique font, and EC: the new smaller font, just for you. I also resized the background to be a little more descriptive of the traditional 'olde worlde' SEAT car that the spanish were compelled to use in the 60/70s (Works for trendy CAMPER shoes, so it has legs).


Anyhoo, I am cutting my own cards, crazy I know, but they are printed in batches on photo paper at my favourite photo printer's.





So here you are.....

[EC]

excellent.

If you go with the card on the right (don't kill me, k?) ... skootch the domain name over to the left just a tad so the vertical space between it and the edge is equivalent to the space between the red text on the right and the right edge. Know what I'm sayin'?

Then again you might have done that on purpose so that it lays on top of the grill more. ?? On the right card, you might also try the domain name BIGGER like you have on the left side, leaving the other letters small as they are (it looks like that might fit perfectly in that space between the left edge and that vertical car doo-hickey sticking down from the red bar?) EDITED TO ADD ... I am not sure about this, it's just something you might try. I am big into 'trying' things. lol I do like it the way it is.

Ok I am totally being nitpicky now, this is really great. I love it.

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Post Edited (EC) : 4/16/2005 12:46:02 AM GMT

[Bobbysky]

Ben, I still think that you should either scratch the email, or put it below your actual name. Not BenMitchell@IB-, you need to have your straight name on there just plain and simple Ben Mitchell. Me personally I like the one on the left better. I like how big the website name is. The only problem is that the .com kinda gets lost in the grill. It's just about there keep going you'll be happy when your done. But really please put your full name without the email address attached to it. Later

[EC]

What bobby said.

[Bobbysky]

I just had a good idea while looking at your card. You should put your name up the side where your email address is. Then in the top bar you could have the web address, email, and phone (all relevant together because there 'contact' info) And they should be all the same size type. That would look pretty damn badass.

[wango]

Not bad, but I think the red in '.com' does not contrast enough with the background image. I would focus more on utilizing contemporary stylings in conjunction with good typography & engaging color tones, over irrelavent stock imagery. I think if it does not directly-correlate with what you do, it has no business on your business card (x-pun). If you think about it, you only get a few seconds at best to convey your message & services on such mediums (unlike websites, brochures/flyers) before it's thrown away, or discarded into the eternal abyss that is wallet or roledex. Though imagery & illustration is a powerful tool, if it doesnt instantly convey your aptitudes - I think it is a waste of space. But I like your typographical orientation thus far, you just need to find a common theme that can include the contact information better. Also, don't underestimate how small business cards are, contrast is your enemy right now, choose your colors wisely. Good luck, can't wait to see how this evolves. :)

- Critique-Nazi (t-shirts & merchandise coming soon to an Ebay near you!)

-What is Love you ask? Love is something special - like between my dogs butt & the carpet...

[bdamit]

Well I had a go at your last suggestions, and also tidied up the background, and maybe its working better now. I don't know if the whole thing looks a bit framed by the text, but I think it reads well.


I'll go to get a sheet printed this evening and let you know what I think...





Great job guys, hope to be of help soon.http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/worshippy.gif

[bdamit]

Wango, Wango, where did you come from at this late hour??? http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/blowingup.gif


Now you're going to get me going again...lol, Here's a quickcomplimentary colour change. Let me know....http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/DesktopModules/dotNetBB/emoticons/thumbsup.gif

[WR]

Orange!

[Bobbysky]

Looks good to me. Your choice between color they both work in my book.

[EC]

the type is great! Either color is great, but I have a feeling that the red is going to print better for you.

[wango]

Love the orange...

-What is Love you ask? Love is something special - like between my dogs butt & the carpet...