Rock bottom

[Patrick Shannon]

Just when my worthless excuse of a job (and an existance) couldn't get any, any worse...I get this in my inbox...

"Hi! My name is ***** ******** I am a 7th grade student of St. Monica School. If I have never watched your kiddos I wanted to make you aware that I do babysit and I am very good. I really like kids and enjoy watching babies, toddlers and young kids. I have two younger siblings of my own. My hobbies include art, swimming and cleaning. My calendar is filling up quickly for the summer. If you have some errands to run, a date with your mate or just need a much deserved Mommy's day out, please call me."

Babysitting flyers.....babysitting flyers. I don't think I should do those babysitting flyers, I really don't like advertising for other people who make more money than I do.

(reaches for his thermal work mug with soda and vodka poured in)

[Patrick Shannon]

Not to mention that this flyer is sexist against males on all levels...isn't there a Daddy's Day out too?

[UmmYeahOK]

I really don't like advertising for other people who make more money than I do.

not to mention advertising for 7th graders who make more money than u... hehe

patrick, man! u've gone a month without posting in soap box. i started worrying about u!

[Patrick Shannon]

I know, I've been slacking. ;) It really hasn't been an easy month with everything that has gone on between now and last month.

My friend just got an excellent new job (his third in the time I've worked where I'm at) and that's just been driving me nuts, so that hasn't helped. Doesn't make sense why it comes so easy for him, and so hard for me (and we're equals at our interviewing skills and respective careers).

[EC]

Patrick? Anybody who notices the inherent sexist qualities in that request is ok in my book. ;)

(the part about "my hobbies include cleaning" makes me want to hire this girl. Or worry that she's a serial killer, not sure which.)

[Patrick Shannon]

Probably means cleaning out your fridge (or even wallet) when you're not home.

Let's make up my own jobs....hmm....let's see.....

"Hi! I am an 80s musician. If I have never watched your kiddos I wanted to make you aware that I do babysit and I am very good. I really like kids and enjoy watching young boys under the age of fourteen and serving them some tasty Jesus Juice. I have several children of my own who were conceived by unknown mothers. My calendar is filling up quickly for the summer due to court dates. If you have some errands to run, a date with your mate or just need a much deserved day out, please drop your boys off at my place. Silence is golden."

M.J.

[paulrandfan]

ahahahahahaha!!!!! Heee-larious!

[~Digital_E.V.O~]

Patrick, man, when, and I stress it but when will you start writing sitcoms... I might turn the tv back on... 'cause these posts are damn funny. You might need a little anger management. The reason i say that is I get the same way when I am mad.
I also need to print your posts to read them on the train home, as my attention span is like 3 seconds long.

[wienerdog]

Thanks for bringing the funny to some real crappy work a lot of us do just for a buck. It's like the BBC series The Office. While it's hysterical, it's also bittersweet because of how truly sad it can be.

[greyghost]

Patrick, man it has to get better. It just has to.

Would it help you if I said I understand?

My neighbor has a cute little grandson. Maybe I could babysit him this summer and make more money (sigh). His parents are doctors. Surely they would pay a starving artist well?