The Frankendesigner Project

[Patrick Shannon]

Well, being absolutely bored off my ass I thought I would share my amusing stories about my two weeks notice (so far), and primarily the hunt for the sucker that is going to replace me. I kind of hope they get someone in here soon who doesn't have to put in two weeks, because 1.) I need to train my little Frankendesigner and 2.) I would like some additional time off before my next job if someone else can take the reins.

The ad is running as "GRAPHIC ARTIST for print shop. Pre press exp. necessary. Competitive salary, health ins. avail." Way to go for such a great description. Competitive salary, my ass....who's it competitive with, White Castle? And I don't think having to fight tooth and nail to get my doctor visit bills paid (other than co-pay) is much of an insurance plan.

So this ad is running in the newspaper, and St. Louis is quite a fierce market for designers and you would think that we'd be getting calls up the wahoo. Only a few calls for the position so far, that says a lot.

Anyhow, mein fuhrer's son asked me if any females had called for the position, and I said no. I asked him "Am I not sexy enough?" and he laughed and said it wasn't about that, he thought that females had closer attention to detail. Uh-uh, I see right through that, and not what all of you might be thinking. Here's the facts, about a year ago mein fuhrer laid off our front-counter woman when we were in a dry period. Her termination meant that there was double the work poured on mein fuhrer's son (showing, to me anyway, that her termination was stupid). So what I think is that they are looking for a girl so that they can get her to do the graphics as well as work the front counter as the last woman did. A two-for-one deal, sheesh.

But mein fuhrer is out of the office, so I've been answering phones like I always do. I've spoken with two candidates today, the first one apparently was a former director of some place...."poor guy for calling here," I thought. I answered some of his technical questions and then he asked if what I did was fun. (I couldn't even dignify that with a response.)

But the second designer was a lot more fun to talk to. He asked about our equipment and then asked what the salary was. I said he would need to talk to my boss about that when he came back. "You know, I really hate to ask that up front, but there are a lot of places out there that pay around $8.50 an hour," he said. He cited that he was looking for around $28,000 and after carefully looking in both directions, I whispered into the phone "Not EVEN close." He said he was highly appreciative for me being such a straight shooter and we exchanged closing pleasantries and that was that. (Hey, I gotta look out for my own.)

I simply can't wait to see what he gets in here.

[defjoe]

employers love and hate when you leave. they love it at first cause they think "ooooo I can replace ths monkey for less money" then you leave and they get in Newbie designer that doesn't know CMYK from Index mode and it cause a ton of problems... that is when the hate sets in.

[Eraser Nubbin]

I think if I ever left my job that they would need to keep me on as a file management consultent to tell them where everything was. Either that or I would have to make up a treasure map for each file.

[Jimeda Fork]

Eraser Nubbin - I've been at this place so long that a lot of my folders follow the 8.3 file name (8 charaters - dot - file extesion). So needless to say our naming convention from back then was quite creative. We often joke about someone trying to make sense of it if they were to start new.

Patrick - My wife quit her job on Valentine's day. She was a CPA-Accounting manager responsible for the month end close. She worked from 8 in the morning until around 6:30, traveled home to put our son to bed, then boot up the laptop and work until 11:30 - 12:00. Long story abbreviated: her boss wanted her to stay on until they found a replacement for her. Well, they are the slow moving type of company, they're still paying a temp $180/hour (not a typo) to do her job.

Amazingly my wife found a job before her two weeks were over. Her FORMER boss was pissed to the holy hell that she wouldn't stay on until they replaced her. He thought that his company was the best place to work and no one else could offer anything better. Worse than that, she's a really good worker and he lost out big time.

Good luck at your new job!

[vtwin_gary]

I think if I ever left my job that they would need to keep me on as a file management consultent to tell them where everything was. Either that or I would have to make up a treasure map for each file.


when i took the job that i have now (but only for a couple more weeks) i got about 3 phone calls the first day i was gone looking for files i answered them... next day about 5 more before lunch when i told the new guy to tell steve (the owner) that i was going to bill him $100 per phone consult for every phone call after this one. i never recieved another.

[Patrick Shannon]

You know it's weird, the complaint has always been that employers don't look at resumes closely enough, I know this too well. But I'm on the other side of it now (looking at some resumes emailed to us) and my brain is shutting off looking at some of these. But maybe I can figure out what's putting me off and then use that to my advantage should I job hunt in the future.

I tell you, these people are way too overqualified for this position, they don't know (if they haven't figured it out in the interview) what they're walking into...

[keith1]

I think if I ever left my job that they would need to keep me on as a file management consultent to tell them where everything was. Either that or I would have to make up a treasure map for each file.

That's hilarious, I think the same the way if I ever left this place I'm at.

[Patrick Shannon]

So far it's looking like they're gonna HAVE to open up their wallets, so they're looking for someone experienced (but most of all, they're looking for the two-in-one deal I mentioned).

But gaaaaahhhhhhh! Now the calls are piling in, and guess who gets to answer them while mein fuhrer is away? These resume calls are driving me nuts! But now that I'm sitting on the other side of the fence, I now understand why certain things I did in my job hunt frankly didn't work. Maybe I can continue to observe and learn more about what effectively gets you an interview.

[greyghost]

Congrats on the new job, Patrick!

I used to have to go through the resumes to pick a new designer or editor out (I was an editor for a year, then went off to be a designer). And yes, you DO learn quite a bit about what not to say or do on the resume or while calling!

[paulrandfan]

Congrats again Patrick! I know how you feel about desperate designers and being overqualified for positions, I've been on both sides. My overwhelming dedication to my industry has led me to look out for candidates more than my employer.

[Patrick Shannon]

Well, they've been chosen, a woman with quite a bit of experience and a long history of working at some prepress place. Now before I go on, I know exactly how hectic it is being a solitary designer working on extremely redundant things back to back, so every now and then a mistake gets through on proofs. That can be blamed on very tired eyes. But to proceed, I took the day off yesterday, so they had this woman make some changes on some business cards in my absence.

The client phoned me today (much at my confusion at first since I didn't recall working on them) and said both business cards had typos and mistakes on them. :/

[Ghastly]

Well, they've been chosen, a woman with quite a bit of experience and a long history of working at some prepress place.

Hmm...does she *have* quite a bit of experience and a long history of working at some prepress place or... does she *allege* she has quite a bit of experience and a long history of working at some prepress place. (I bets its the latter)

[paulrandfan]

It's always rewarding to know your replacement doesn't hold a candle to you :)

Secondly, they are business cards, it's not a book,...how does one make multiple mistakes on a piece that doesn't have that much text. Furthermore, if this was her first project on the job...you think she would have been extra careful to get things right....


mmmmm....

[morea]

or it could just be that she has *cleavage*

[Ghastly]

Yeah!...thats probably it (though if she wasn't the only well endowed applicant then my point still stands...sort of)

[Patrick Shannon]

Ghastly: Good, good question.

PaulRandFan: I'll give her a little benefit of the doubt, unless you're making business cards from scratch, stuff like that is thoughtless, repetitive...so you tend not to put much thought into it. There have been times when I have been trying to plow through a pile very, very fast (this *is* the fast food of printing) and I made a ridiculous oversight. On the other hand, I can blame that on boredom, low moral....and hell, maybe subconsciously I frankly didn't care. There was a reason that I had a flawless record and worked my tail off at my job before Krap Kopy.

BUT.....that comment about her "first job" is too true. I was a nut about double/triple checking errors in my own portfolio, because I would be mortified if there was problems in my own stuff that I cared about.

Morea: Uggghhh.....she's like 40, and not one of those attractive forty year olds either.

[jimintn]

It could have been she was trying to impress with the speed, and quality took a hit. No excuse for a mistake on the first job. And Patirck, for all of us over 40's....thanks for making us feel so good!

[morea]

lol @ jimintn :D

[paulrandfan]

The woman who replaced me in my last job was forty something too...Any speculation on whether or not they are paying her more or less than you?


mmmm...

[Patrick Shannon]

Probably more, my ears can hear a pin drop and I think I heard a "$12/hr" mention somewhere, although I could be confusing that with another candidate. (If raises came on time once a year, that's what I'd be making now)

My friends as well as my mother ask if that personally infuriates me, but I honestly don't give a damn at this point.

[idaho]

Damn Patrick, that guy is cheap! I was making $16/hr working in Indianapolis for a sister company of yours and I know that the Indy area has a lower cost of living. You were getting robbed.

Good thing you are getting out.

[Patrick Shannon]

Damn...well, that's all the problem of my successor now. F**k Kwik Kopy and f**k I.C.E.D.

[idaho]

F**k Kwik Kopy and f**k I.C.E.D.

I can't argue with that although ICED isn't the one determining your pay. It's your cheap ass boss. Believe me when I say he's not the only one whose cheap when it comes to those franchises.

Having been to ICED's HQ in Houston and having met a lot of owners, I can tell you that they are all the same. Cheap as hell!

It's a shame you didn't get to go to Houston. It was a nice place with all the free beer and wine you can drink (believe me when I say "I put this to the test") and the naked women. It's all such a blur. Let's just say I had to be carried onto the plane to go home the next morning.

[Patrick Shannon]

I can't argue with that although ICED isn't the one determining your pay. It's your cheap ass boss. Believe me when I say he's not the only one whose cheap when it comes to those franchises.

Having been to ICED's HQ in Houston and having met a lot of owners, I can tell you that they are all the same. Cheap as hell!

Oh, I'm aware of that. However, it's your second paragraph that fueled my comment about I.C.E.D. (the owners under their banner).


It's a shame you didn't get to go to Houston. It was a nice place with all the free beer and wine you can drink (believe me when I say "I put this to the test") and the naked women. It's all such a blur. Let's just say I had to be carried onto the plane to go home the next morning.

My employers are all "good and righteous" people (whatever) and wouldn't participate in something like that, man oh man...what a waste..... ;)

[idaho]

I didn't realize that there were any stores under the ICED banner. I thought that every store was a franchise.

They are good franchises to have because they are goood money makers when they are run right. One store in Kentucky has consistantly been a multi-million dollar company in terms of sales. It's all a matter of who's running the show.