new stationary/logo crit please!!

[danedawg99]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v433/danedawg99/Hangarlogo.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v433/danedawg99/hangarbus.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v433/danedawg99/hangarenvelope.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v433/danedawg99/TheHangarltrhed.jpg

For a place called The Hangar in Maryville, MO. An old airplane hangar they turned into a restaraunt/theater. Wanted to have aa art deco/40s-ish feel to the design to harken back to the "golden age of cinema". Kind of class it up a bit.

Next i'll do up a menu and some ads. Tear it up for me!

[Eraser Nubbin]

I think you captured the 40's feel, something about the plane bothers me a bit. Maybe the nose, maybe the plane itself needs some more detail. The BW works real well.

[G-Man79]

I dig the concept but the plane itself looks a little flat to me. It almost looked like a knife cutting a hot dog (which might not be too bad if they have great hot dogs!). I think you're on the right track though. Keep at it!

[danedawg99]

eraser, I'm glad you think B&W works. I tried to do this so that it would work in b&W without any color. It's a small company, and the budget is a bit small...

i'll look at adding more detail to the plane. maybe some windows? thanks guys

[Mynock]

mmmm, hot dog. G-Man ruined it for me everytime I look at it I see a hot dog and knife. mmmm

[danedawg99]

DAMN IT, G-man!!!! http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/happy/jestera.gif http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/happy/yelrotflmao.gif

[Shrimp123]

I'd add a few lines for the cockpit, it would look a bit better.

[Mynock]

try moving the wings lower on the chasis that might help make it look more plane-like

[danedawg99]

that might work, maybe some props? I know that alot of older airplanes had 1 prop driven engine on each wing. I just don't want to clutter the design.

[Mynock]

one prop on the nose, you can even stylize it some

[defjoe]

i like it... you totally nailed they crappy plane we use to get as kids.

[wienerdog]

I like the idea of one propellar on the nose. But the style and design really work for me. Sounds like a place I'd definitely check out.

Very cool!

[danedawg99]

defjoe- yeah i had to use my memory of those as a reference as i don't have internets at home. glad to see someone else had those things too!!

wienerdog (I love typing that!!) it's in NW Missouri, so next time you're that way, check it out!! Glad you like it!

[Ghastly]

oh the irony...the confusion :confused:

I like it!!...this to me says the forties..I don't like forties style (absolubtely hate seventies style though), but thats why I like it...cos I don't like it see? and that means you did a good job...ie; it looks pretty authentic to me :cool:

the only thing I will find fault with is the back of your business card...it just doesn't seem to look *right* at the moment

[danedawg99]

oh the irony...the confusion :confused:

I like it!!...this to me says the forties..I don't like forties style (absolubtely hate seventies style though), but thats why I like it...cos I don't like it see? and that means you did a good job...ie; it looks pretty authentic to me :cool:

the only thing I will find fault with is the back of your business card...it just doesn't seem to look *right* at the moment

uh thanks? ;)

so does that mean you like the back of the card because you don't like it? :p Any suggestions about that?

[Ghastly]

the main chassis of your plane non-pleasingly stuck right in the centre but not looking like your logo cos you can't see the rest of it seems to be the thing that kills it...for me anyway...perhaps you could lose it? or move the logo somewhere subtle? :)

I think the grey tagline on a black background without the grey thing behind it would work better.

[chalsema]

I'm not sure about the black background. It looks cool, but also kind of ominous...

[danedawg99]

thanks for clarifying that, ghastly. I see what you mean, thanks! I'll play with it a bit.

[windyhill]

I think it's a very good try and shows some critical thinking but all in all sorry, I don't like it much. Depending on your deadline I think it needs more refinement as (to me anyway) it says "Forties" in only the most superficial ways. Where to begin?

Typography: pretty generic choices and not well executed, e.g., bad kerning between Caps T & H in THE. Also I think reviewing classic luggage labels and other travel ephemera from the "golden age of travel" (actually the Thirties, between the World Wars, and not the Forties as many people think) will help you focus on better type solutions... for example Caps & small caps were used a lot back then.

Why the starburst? Seems to overcomplicate the look. The plane also looks a little too simplified. The shape suggests a flying boat but where are the engines? No rudder too... you wouldn't get me to fly in *that* plane!

Business card, Front: Hmmm. Again, too busy. I hate the double rules. Bleeding the plane off the right end serves what purpose? Repeating it is bad enough but hard to read fonts and type too big competes with logo. No need to mix type weights IMO... again, the bold type competes with the logo.

Business card, Back: Conjuring up Humphrey Bogart is iffy as he enjoyed sailing better than flying. I hate the type bleeding off, hard to read. Also no quotation marks? Aren't you quoting someone?? The plane abstraction was a good idea but why center it? Use a more dynamic approach.

Envelope: I hate the rules... sure, Streamline Moderne and all that but doesn't really add anything, does it? Also, who will remember to flush the address right? Who types that way on business correspondence??

Letterhead: Why is the logo on the right side now? I find that inconsistant and sloppy. Also the address up at the top and the other contact info down below? Have you actually seen any letterheads from this period? Plus the rules again... they just scream 70's to me.

Enough tearing for one day?

[danedawg99]

wow. thanks for taking me seriously, windy. i'll take it in and see what i can come up with.

[Magnus]

^ ^ Disregard that post. What a bunch of flagrant "look at me, I'm trying to sound smart by spewing my chunky opinion backed up by design principles I made up myself, based on my opinion."

Seriously, windyhill old bean, there's critiquing logos and design pieces, then there's going out of your way to be anal retentive and pointing out specs of dust that have absolutely no significance to the overall design.

Your entire post could have been summed up with "Maybe needs a bit of tweaking with the design and layout." But instead you just wasted minutes of your life that you can't get back with your rubbish. It wasn't even helpful, it was entirely deconstructive and assinine.

If this is how you conduct yourself as a GD'er...you need some growing up to do. Go back to your other forum.

[Mynock]

thanks Magnus, you just saved me from reading their post.

[Magnus]

lol....hey, if I can save someone time in their lives, I'll consider it my good deed for the day.

[keith1]

I love the idea. Then again I love retro designs. I personally don't like the fonts though. I do like the plane and the star in the background. I think the plane needs refining, put some propellers on that mug. Here's a link that may be of some helpful inspiration http://www.ephemeranow.com/

[windyhill]

was to discuss what's not working and how to improve it? Why open the floodgate if you don't wanna get wet?

I think it's still a work-in-progress and needs more refinement. It's a good first try but all I see are Art Deco and travel cliches heaped together in the hope that they will work together. But then I'm perhaps being too professional. Forgive me.

"Magnus" you seem to have an issue with criticism. What gives?

[keith1]

Honestly I think windyhill had a lot of good advice and went out of his way to go over everything. Yeah he did come across as a pompous ass but on a second read of the critique nothing ggressive like "it sucks" without giving direction. Just my .02.

[ikyut]

very constructive like, i realy like that?

B & W works great. very nice work!!!!!!!!

ikyut:cool:

[windyhill]

but it's so hard to make them look right. A little more research will help this project along, trust me.

danedawg99: I'm not trying to sound superior as some have suggested, just pointing out a few things that immediately jumped out at me... hey, it's only a crit, only one person's opinion. I'm not trying to tear you down to make me feel better. Really.


keith1: that's a great site you referenced, but I'm a pompus ass because:
I expressed my opinion as a seasoned designer (24 years)?
I know about this period and Humphrey Bogart?
I recognize bad kerning when I see it?
I mistook this for a serious forum?
I have high expectations?
:¬o

Mynock: read my post and make up your own mind... don't be a sheep.

[morea]

windyhill: it was a thoughtful critique, and I'm sure that danedawg appreciates your advice.

We do consider this a serious forum, and many up and coming designers have learned a lot by posting their work here. While we try to be encouraging and tactful, the purpose of a critique is to point out things that may need improvement.

I think that the only point of contention folks might have had with your post was the final comment, "enough tearing for one day?" We like to think of our critique section here on GDF as constructive rather than destructive.

It's certainly appreciated when a veteran of the industry takes the time to offer feedback on another designer's work. Welcome aboard. I am sure that you will be a valuable addition to our community.

[keith1]

keith1: that's a great site you referenced, but I'm a pompus ass because:
I expressed my opinion as a seasoned designer (24 years)?
I know about this period and Humphrey Bogart?
I recognize bad kerning when I see it?
I mistook this for a serious forum?
I have high expectations?
:¬o



Yes, you're too damned knowledgable & you rule with an iron fist. ;) I guess it comes off that way when you're new to the forum and come off preachy sounding on your first post in a sort of cocky manner. I don't have a problem with your crit, I'm just saying I can see how others would.

[danedawg99]

Hey y'all let's not fight!! At least not in here.

windy, again thank you for taking the time to crit the work i posted. Yes, this is a WIP, that's why i posted it here. You did come off a bit *******-ish, but oh well, this is the internets, nuance gets lost in cyberspace... and i like the starburst. :p

Morea, I think that was in response to my post's "Tear it up for me." Proving that Windy did, actuall read my post.

Everyone else. I appreciate you sticking up for me, but I DID ask for it. Windy's just trying to help. :D

[Mynock]

Mynock: read my post and make up your own mind... don't be a sheep.

I think I need to put something in my sig about my love of sarcasm. What's wrong with being a sheep? They have endearing qualities like:

They hate to be alone--that's why they live in flocks (groups of sheep).
Sheep are very gentle animals and are easily frightened.
They flock together for protection because they can't really protect themselves.
Sheep have been a friend to people for over 10,000 years, providng both meat and clothing.
Sheep are valuable because they often graze land that other livestock cannot. Sheep eat grass and hay.
One of the best things about wool fabrics is that they are flame resistant, so they are safer to wear.
Wool also provides excellent protection from cold and wet weather.
Even if your wool sweater gets wet from snow or rain, it will still keep you warm. Wool also wears well and lasts for a long time.

so there :P

[danedawg99]

I think I need to put something in my sig about my love of sarcasm. What's wrong with being a sheep? They have endearing qualities like:

They hate to be alone--that's why they live in flocks (groups of sheep).
Sheep are very gentle animals and are easily frightened.
They flock together for protection because they can't really protect themselves.
Sheep have been a friend to people for over 10,000 years, providng both meat and clothing.
Sheep are valuable because they often graze land that other livestock cannot. Sheep eat grass and hay.
One of the best things about wool fabrics is that they are flame resistant, so they are safer to wear.
Wool also provides excellent protection from cold and wet weather. Even if your wool sweater gets wet from snow or rain, it will still keep you warm. Wool also wears well and lasts for a long time.

so there :P

They are also dumber than bags of sh!t. I've seen 1/2 a flock of sheep kill themselves trying to sqeeze thruogh a hole in a fence no bigger than their head which one had already gotten stuck in.


Turkish sheep leap off cliff to their deaths (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4665511.stm) :eek: :D

[morea]

AND if you pick them up, they scream! :D

[Mynock]

I also heard that there is a breed that if you don't sheer them they die of heat stroke, or I just made that up.

[Kool]

LOL at Mynock.

I thought it was a good crit windyhill, welcome to the forum.

[Ryan8720]

I think the back of the card is too dark. Needs more contrast. I have to look at my monitor from different angles to see the wings. Maybe it will look better in print though.

I don't like the font for "The Hangar". For some reason it always reminds me of a safari or something.

[windyhill]

morea: I was only responding to danedawg99's own choice of words like he mentioned. It did make my approach, however, a bit more strident than normal and I'd expect the same level of criticism if I posted a logo too.

keith1: I promise to be less preachy

mynock: I love sheep but hate lamb... what's wrong with me?

danedawg99: you'll get the first crack to crit my next logo project, if I ever get one... right now it's just boring DVD packaging.

magnus: "specs(sic) of dust that have absolutely no significance to the overall design." Last I looked graphic design was a detail-oriented profession. The devil is indeed in the details my Canadian friend and I try to whack dat debil as often as I can. One small mistake may be overlooked, many small mistakes and the Space Shuttle crashes.