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  • Perfect Comebacks -

    What's your favorite?
    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
    10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
    11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
    20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
    24. Do I look like a people person?
    25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
    27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
    34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
    37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
    39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
    40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
    Viki Anderson Graphics & Design on Demand
    Through the Looking Glass




  • #2
    It's a toss up - my favorites are:

    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

    although I think reuber is going to use #40 on me before the day is out...
    "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

    Comment


    • #3
      Haha those are classic, I will have to remember some of those for the soccer field.
      Telling a guy that I screwed his sister is getting kind of old
      match in the gas tank, boom boom

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh the number of times I have wanted to say the first one to my boss!! Oh I think I lost count. LOL!

        Comment


        • #5
          the best comeback for any situation is, "oh yeah? Your mother!" because it leaves everyone so confused that it's normally a good way to end a conversation.

          Of course, you shouldn't say it to the wrong person, or you may end up picking your teeth up off the floor.
          "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

          Comment


          • #6
            Yeah but Morea, saying "your mother" usualy ends up in more flings, more insults about mothers, or flying fists. If you can keep a level head and use those ^ comebacks, and the opposing person keeps resorting to the "your mother/sister/brother/father" insults, it shows you have more control than resorting to saying something that will cause someone to get really PO'd lol. I've seen it happen time and time again.
            pas·sion
            If there is no passion in your life, then have you already lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you, and you will find great things happen for you, to you, and because of you.
            -T. Alan Armstrong

            Comment


            • #7
              oh, I didn't realize. You see, I'm a test tube baby.
              "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by morea
                oh, I didn't realize. You see, I'm a test tube baby.
                Wha? No bellybutton?

                Comment


                • #9
                  I had one tattooed on so I don't feel weird at the beach.
                  "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    They are all great - Very funny stuff
                    www.kerryrowberry.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by morea
                      I had one tattooed on so I don't feel weird at the beach.
                      Now that is QOTW material. Nice.
                      __________________________________________________
                      I like to beat up pacifists, because they don't fight back ...

                      N.A.N.K.A. "We Kick Because We Care."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        lol!

                        It was nice... a womb with a view!

                        Last edited by morea; 01-27-2006, 10:49 PM.
                        "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          "6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

                          I hereby dedicate /\ that quote to brother Rockem.
                          "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." -Yogi Berra
                          [I]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by morea
                            lol!

                            It was nice... a womb with a view!


                            OMG! What is that poor kitten doing in that condom?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              oh my!
                              "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

                              Comment

                               
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