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  • PrintDriver
    Reply to Happy Last Friday of August!!!
    PrintDriver
    Kitty and Kool, thanks for the years of making Friday mornings fun.

    Re other chat platforms, I've given up fighting "progress"
    I'm waiting for drones to deliver my groceries...
    Today, 03:52 AM
  • kibblex
    Illustrator Gradient on Grouped Objects
    kibblex
    I've been working on my logo. I pathfinder'd the P out of the B and now the pieces are grouped. When I apply a gradient from the gradient panel, I can't seem to adjust it with the gradient tool the same...
    Today, 03:26 AM
  • PanToshi
    Reply to Happy Last Friday of August!!!
    PanToshi
    Thanks for keeping the home fires burning for us all this time, Miss Kittie. It is sad to see the QOTW go, but there just haven't as many jokes of late.

    Have a great weekend everyone! Enjoy...
    Today, 02:48 AM
  • PrintDriver
    Comment on Happy Last Friday of August!!!
    PrintDriver
    Your last sentence holds alot of truth. Members are socializing elsewhere. It's only a matter of time before the traffic doesn't support the upkeep.
    Today, 02:40 AM
  • Kool
    Comment on Happy Last Friday of August!!!
    Kool
    I didn't mean the forums time had past, just the Friday post.
    Today, 02:07 AM
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  • Gracious Redneck Living (FUNNY!)



    Gracious Redneck Living


    1. Never take a beer to a job interview-any job worth having will already have it stocked.


    2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.


    3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.


    4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.


    5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered rude to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.


    DINING OUT


    1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.


    2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.


    ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME


    1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.


    2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are.


    PERSONAL HYGIENE


    1 . While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.


    2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days, however, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.


    3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of her finger foods.


    DATING (Outside the Family)





    1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.


    2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."


    3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 pm; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


    THEATER ETIQUETTE


    1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.


    2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


    WEDDINGS


    1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.


    2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.


    3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.


    4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


    DRIVING ETIQUETTE


    1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.


    2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.


    3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.


    4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.


    5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.



    allen harkleroad<a target="_blank" href="mailto:H@rklerod" target=_blank>
    </A>"Sleeping on the job.... again"

    Visit Our Magazine: www.DesignerToday.com

    Get inside my head at www.DontFear.com

    ZoneDeals.com BETA
    Allen Harkleroad
    Father of Graphic Design Forum


    "Bored? Who has time to be bored?"

  • #2
    [img]/emoticons/blink.gif[/img] [img]/emoticons/rofl.gif[/img]

    "Who am I? Where did I come from? Who are these demons, and why do they relentlessly cross my path?"

    Comment


    • #3
      LMAO



      'You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.' H. J. Simpson

      Comment


      • #4
        I love redneck jokes, mostly cause i know several of them in real life (people that ARE redneck jokes).

        You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it sexually stimulating..... [img]/emoticons/wink.gif[/img]


        allen harkleroad<a target="_blank" href="mailto:H@rklerod" target=_blank>
        </A>"Sleeping on the job.... again"

        Visit Our Magazine: www.DesignerToday.com

        Get inside my head at www.DontFear.com

        ZoneDeals.com BETA
        Allen Harkleroad
        Father of Graphic Design Forum


        "Bored? Who has time to be bored?"

        Comment


        • #5
          *is a redneck*

          --
          When I buy stickers for folks in prison, I bring milk not backyard meth - it's a prison party!

          Comment


          • #6
            LOL



            'Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.'
            - Albert Einstein
            ProudPenguin
            P r o d u c t i o n s


            Comment


            • #7
              geez, that's way too close to home!

              ...you might be a redneck if you've used an ironing board as a buffet table...

              :: i go out on friday night and i come home on saturday morning ::

              Comment


              • #8
                good stuff....

                Unc please dont use jokes that start 'you might be a redneck' Jeff Foxworthy makes my skin crawl

                JK - I do hate Jeff Foxworthy - and 'the get er done' Guy

                otto veblin = Zartan


                'yes here is your logo' - zartan
                'um dont like it can you add a swoosh?' - zartan
                'No I am the designer bitch now pay your bill!' - zartan
                - client leaves -

                Comment


                • #9
                  well lah-dee-dah.

                  pahdonnay mwoah.


                  (FANTASTIC avatar, allen!)

                  :: i go out on friday night and i come home on saturday morning ::

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ha....ha....he....he......lmao!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wake up, old-timer! Thanks for the laugh!


                      Support Music and Arts Education | www.dafenix.org | 'You have no chance to win.' | GDF Mac Death Squad, Son

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        hey i just woke up, where is everybody? Man everyone must have gone to bed (LOL).


                        allen harkleroad<a target="_blank" href="mailto:H@rklerod" target=_blank>
                        </A>"Sleeping on the job.... again"

                        Visit Our Magazine: www.DesignerToday.com

                        Get inside my head at www.DontFear.com

                        ZoneDeals.com BETA
                        Allen Harkleroad
                        Father of Graphic Design Forum


                        "Bored? Who has time to be bored?"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          HA! You're too much Allen!

                          I like cheese. It is tasty.
                          "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ho Morea,
                            Actually I am a little less, dropped 30 pounds since last thanksgiving <g>, was 249 now i am around 219...

                            (LOL)


                            allen harkleroad<a target="_blank" href="mailto:H@rklerod" target=_blank>
                            </A>"Sleeping on the job.... again"

                            Visit Our Magazine: www.DesignerToday.com

                            Get inside my head at www.DontFear.com

                            ZoneDeals.com BETA
                            Allen Harkleroad
                            Father of Graphic Design Forum


                            "Bored? Who has time to be bored?"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              oh and CowgirlExpressions it should be "am a redneck", as in I am a redneck (LOL) <g>

                              Now let's git er done!





                              allen harkleroad<a target="_blank" href="mailto:H@rklerod" target=_blank>
                              </A>"Sleeping on the job.... again"

                              Visit Our Magazine: www.DesignerToday.com

                              Get inside my head at www.DontFear.com

                              ZoneDeals.com BETA
                              Allen Harkleroad
                              Father of Graphic Design Forum


                              "Bored? Who has time to be bored?"

                              Comment

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