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  • 3 years of my life giving to her now she wants a break

    seems like my perfect day would have been spoiled somehow. it seems for months i have been looking for a job in my field (graphic design) with no sort of way in. i finally get a job with a corporate printing firm and i get full health coverage 401k dental etc.;. i am in the color graphics department and it is only 3 of us SO GOD KNOWS luck had nothing to do with me getting this position(GOD IS GOOD). any ways have been in a 3 year relationship and for 2 years my girl (fiancee) have been doing the whole distance thing. today she made it real clear to me that she wants a break etc. and i am cool with it. but like any man my mind is wondering where i go wrong or what the hell is she actually up too.

  • #2

    She wants a break?! You’re in a long distance relationship, technically that's already a "break". Look man, women need three things, the proverbial 3-A's if you will - Attention, Affection & more Attention. A phone call from 1800 miles away every few days just isn't gunna cut it for long. They need companionship, and if your not there to give it to her, theirs plenty of men she can get it from. I’m not saying she's cheating on you, but my guess is she found someone else. I don't know you personally CLDriver, but I don't think you did anything to directly merit the "break - (up)". You've been in a relationship with this girl for three years, and you've probably known her even longer. She probably had fantasies about getting married and moving off to a big house in the suburbs to live the rest of your lives together, but the whole long distance thing has challenged her expectations. The point is - the longer (& further) you’re apart, the less she thinks about you, & the greater urge to start a fresh relationship. Don't take it as a personal fault, this is just the nature of the beast, long distance relationships hardly ever work out, it's just the beginning of the end. The fact that you guys have lasted two years is an accomplishment in itself, so don't let this get you down. Two things are possible; either she will eventually realize how much she misses you and wants to renew the relationship again, or she will move on, giving you the opportunity to start a fresh relationship with someone within your own postal code. Either way, it's better that your current long distance situation. Best of luck CLDriver...and sorry, didn't mean to get all "Dr. Phil" on you.

    Post Edited (vwanga) : 9/28/2004 6:38:38 AM GMT


    • #3
      Good luck CDL don't worry man your young, in NYC and there are about 6 Million more girls out there to choose from.

      Graphic Design Heroes! Call me Captain Type Caster. I’ve fought off “The Evil Cosmic Sans” for year but it seems “Dr. Extreme Untalent” keeps bringing him back. I must find a way to defeat this evil creature.

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      • #4
        That's tough, man. . . sorry to hear that things are tough right now. Just remember that things always have a way of turning out fine, even though we can't always see the 'big picture'.

        You've gotta do what you've gotta do.
        "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot


        • #5
          Damn I am sorry. Things happen for a reason IMO.. Just remember that..


          • #6
            it means she got close to someone else, long distance very rarely works. not your fault, it's just human nature to want to be with someone. I say let her go and you move on as well. If it is meant to last you will get back together.

            'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'
            'I'm the damn designer, bitches!'

            Check out my indie comic book!
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            Check out my indie comic books at and


            • #7
              Echoes what defjoe said. You can't do long distance and expect it to work for too long...I think Kool has the record that I know of, which was over a year I think.

              "It's not cheating if you win."

              - A VERY wise person.


              • #8
                I have to agree. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I was in just didn't work out, wasn't meant to be. I think she probobly got close to someone else too. Women in general are very needy when it comes to needing to be with someone. By that I mean...being able to see that person whenever, being able to roll over in the middle of the night and feel that person beside you...its just the way most of us are. When I was dating in my LD relationship, we talked everyday...sometimes 3 or 4 times a day but talking with someone and actually being with them are 2 totally different things. The distance runs you down so I found out. Sure you are 'with' someone...but you aren't really WITH them...know what I mean?

                I say let her it was 3 years and I know its rough. Seems I have wasted ALOT of time on very unsuccessful relationships but its all part of life and a learning experience. Let her go and enjoy not being attatched for awhile. Concentrate on your new job, as we all know you have been searching for a job for a long time! Its great you are working on the printing end to learn that. Its the best experience you can get to help futher your design career. Trust me! Congratulations and good luck!

                Boobie Island or Bust!
                I blog, you blog, we all blog!


                • #9
                  Good luck, CLD. Things will work out, I'm sure. Enjoy your new job and keep your head up!

                  Support Music and Arts Education | | 'You have no chance to win.' | GDF Mac Death Squad, Son


                  • #10
                    maybe it's what they call perfect timing.

                    :: Durable and doable in a swimsuit, yet not designed for surfing, cliff diving, extreme groping and other high-impact activities. ::


                    • #11
                      ^^ what Unc said! ^^

                      Boobie Island or Bust!
                      I blog, you blog, we all blog!


                      • #12
                        I feel for yall

                        the ladies make no sense plus they suck

                        congrats on the job

               - portfolio
               - the company I work for


                        • #13
                          Not all women are bad. It's just that half the people in the world are below average. Think about it!

                          You've gotta do what you've gotta do.

                          Post Edited (morea) : 9/28/2004 2:34:16 PM GMT
                          "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot


                          • #14
                            Yeah..agreed! not all of us women are bad...some of us actually make sense ;o)

                            Boobie Island or Bust!
                            I blog, you blog, we all blog!


                            • #15
                              Best of luck!!

                              If there is a problem, there is always a solution!


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