What insect is good at maths?
An account-ant
A is given a yellow brick by his dying grandfather. The grandfather tells him it's a special brick and not to ever sell it or give it away or to ever bounce it from a high building, it's a bouncing brick. The man didn't believe him but sure enough the brick bounced and was wonderful. He loved his yellow brick and carried it everywhere. One day a billionaire came to him and said that he wanted the yellow brick and the man wouldn't sell it. Eventually the billionaire offered an amount of money the man couldn't refuse. He passed on the same warning of not bouncing the brick from a height. The bricks new owner was delighted and the first thing he did with his new brick was to go to the top of the tallest building and threw it at the ground as hard as he could and the brick whizzed up into the air, never to be seen again.
Why do cowboys carry horses?
Because they're too heavy to carry
A sandwich and a banana walk into a bar. They go up to the bartender and say, "Bartender, get us each a beer!" The bartender turns to them and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You stay on ahead and I'll hang around here
A man is going to get on a plane with his very special budgie. The budgie can talk, sing and juggle at the same time. The only thing is the budgie needs special attention all the time or he'll stop performing forever. So when the owner tries to board the plane with the budgie the crew stop him and tell him the budgie can't be on the plane. He's very distressed at this news and continues to argue. He eventually convinces the crew to bolt the cage to the wing and for him to have a window seat, it costs him a lot of money to arrange this. He sits at the window playing with the budgie, rubbing the window, blowing kisses and the budgie loves it. Half way through the flight he needs to go to the toilet. There's a nun sitting beside him and he asks her to play with the budgie while he does his business. When the man comes back from the toilet the nun is shaking and apologizing. The man is saying "what happened?" and the nun says "i was sitting here playing with the budgie having a great time and next of all BAM a yellow brick knocked the whole cage right off the wing"
An account-ant
A is given a yellow brick by his dying grandfather. The grandfather tells him it's a special brick and not to ever sell it or give it away or to ever bounce it from a high building, it's a bouncing brick. The man didn't believe him but sure enough the brick bounced and was wonderful. He loved his yellow brick and carried it everywhere. One day a billionaire came to him and said that he wanted the yellow brick and the man wouldn't sell it. Eventually the billionaire offered an amount of money the man couldn't refuse. He passed on the same warning of not bouncing the brick from a height. The bricks new owner was delighted and the first thing he did with his new brick was to go to the top of the tallest building and threw it at the ground as hard as he could and the brick whizzed up into the air, never to be seen again.
Why do cowboys carry horses?
Because they're too heavy to carry
A sandwich and a banana walk into a bar. They go up to the bartender and say, "Bartender, get us each a beer!" The bartender turns to them and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You stay on ahead and I'll hang around here
A man is going to get on a plane with his very special budgie. The budgie can talk, sing and juggle at the same time. The only thing is the budgie needs special attention all the time or he'll stop performing forever. So when the owner tries to board the plane with the budgie the crew stop him and tell him the budgie can't be on the plane. He's very distressed at this news and continues to argue. He eventually convinces the crew to bolt the cage to the wing and for him to have a window seat, it costs him a lot of money to arrange this. He sits at the window playing with the budgie, rubbing the window, blowing kisses and the budgie loves it. Half way through the flight he needs to go to the toilet. There's a nun sitting beside him and he asks her to play with the budgie while he does his business. When the man comes back from the toilet the nun is shaking and apologizing. The man is saying "what happened?" and the nun says "i was sitting here playing with the budgie having a great time and next of all BAM a yellow brick knocked the whole cage right off the wing"
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