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You know that guy PD...

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  • You know that guy PD...

    He says some pretty funny stuff sometimes. He says a lot of other boring technical stuff too that probably helps someone now and then. But for some reason I feel compelled to post a bunch of the funny ones.

    Here are some recent goodies...

    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Nobody needs a toilet in their logo. Not even the suggestion of a lifting lid...
    Even toilet makers don't put toilets on their logo.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Hmm... at least if I was gonna offer a scam contest for designers, I'd make the prize a trophy that's both shiny and glittery. Then they could put it on their shelf and point to it. If I could make it smell like bacon, even better.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    I charge 12lbs of bacon per idea. How many would you like to buy?
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Every time a logo changes, someone needs a sign...
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    How many people does it take saying "Photoshop is fine for logos" before everyone starts believing it?

    I'll print anything you send me. But if you want that logo on the side of a building in 3D letters that light up, it will cost you money for me to fix your photoshop logo into a vector thing that a CNC will read. And I'm going to up my price very soon. No joke. This photoshop thing is already rampant. And it is wrong. Anyone that believes Photoshop is for logos should have their computer taken away. Or at least banned from selling their creations as Graphic Design.

    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Unless you go to Friendly's.
    The Happy Endings there are Ice Cream.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    But did you have a representative selection of fish? Say a bass, and, and a catfish, a pickerel, and a trout...A rainbow trout to represent the gay fish...
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Nope. Not surprised at all.
    I'm currently looking at the good old Photoshop jpg placed in an Illustrator .eps file.
    It frightens me that this can still happen... Adobe should put a keyboard voltage capacitor in there to give 'corrective stimulus' if someone tries to do that.
    "are you sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
    "Are you REALLY sure you want to save this as a .eps file?"
    "OK. You asked for it." BZZZZZZLLBZZZZLBZZZZZzzzzzzZAP!
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    How can it scream 'Diet Coke' when the label is too fat for the can?
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    For years I was putting oil paintings into a local juried art show, sometimes getting in, sometimes not. There was quite an uproar the year a little 3" x 4" thing done in Photoshop won the first prize (the three top prizes got their own show together in the fall.) It was an abstract Photoshop whiz bang, not even anything truly awe inspiring.

    The next year I entered a big orange-yellow square and called it "Close up of a School Bus at One DPI"
    Needless to say, I was juried out, but some of them got the point.

    Haven't been back to that Arts Council since.
    Here's a few classics...

    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    I only got into tech theatre cuz I wanted to be one of those guys wearing the cool headphones...
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Could be the part that needs coffee is the component between keyboard and chair?
    Originally posted by PrintDriver
    Hmm..."I just look at the Playboy mag to try to find the retouching"...
    Yeah, that might just fly. No one believes it when I say I'm reading the articles.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver
    A calculator (so the wrong scaling can be justified.)
    A clock (so you know that 3 minutes after you send that 600mb wad-file via FTP you can go home.
    A Calendar (for marking GDF special days - you thought I might mention something about deadlines there, didn't you.)
    I want an alpaca. Do they eat bad proofs?
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    How would I know you're 15? They're brass, not crystal.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    Some colleges are like the community daycare pageant. The kids paid their entry fee, they get a part in the show. No one said it had to be a good part.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    I think the toilet paper roll must be a chick thing. I don't care what way it goes on there. If it goes on. Why do people get so upset if you just leave the new roll on top of the old tube for the next person to change while they're sittin there with nuthin to do??? At least I got out the new roll. Sheesh.
    Originally posted by PrintDriver View Post
    We're sorry.The designer gods are busy right now preparing bacon in a shiny new frying pan that attracted their attenion while wandering in the baking aisle to pick up a cake mix...or was it a pie filling?

  • #2
    Happy 25K, PD! Thanks for the giggles (and the useful information too)!
    "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot


    • #3
      PD: very smart, very funny, and a dead-ringer for George Clooney.

      Well, I mean, if George Clooney had ended up doing large format work.


      • #4
        Fun stuff!
        Love having you here PD.
        Congrats on 25K.
        I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. ~ Kurt Cobain


        • #5
          Geez, I saw that post title and posted by Kool and thought, "Oh sh*t, what'd i do now..."
          Such a guilty conscience...
          25k eh?

          Edit: Broacher, I've been compared to House quite often, never George Clooney...
          Last edited by PrintDriver; 10-06-2011, 12:47 PM.


          • #6
            Happy 25k PrintDriver. Funny and smart, and my go-to sign guy. Thanks for being here, man.
            This post is brought to you by the letter E and the number 9. Those are the buttons I push to get a Twix out of the candy machine.
            "I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process."


            • #7
              so many questions, and always no-holds- barred answers. the way it should be. happy 25!
              Remember: Wherever you go, there you are.


              • #8
                CHEERS! Here's to 25K more!

                (And for those of you who don't drink, have yourself a coke
                When I buy stickers for folks in prison, I bring milk not backyard meth - it's a prison party!


                • #9
                  I thought Kool was going to tell us he's been banned or something

                  Congrats on the milestone PD here's to many more

                  Less marketing douchebaggery, MORE TANKS!


                  • #10

                    Well look at that, what a coincidence


                    • #11
                      Wow, congrats, PD!
                      Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.


                      • #12
                        Nicely done PD!! It's great having you here! Knowledge, insight, and some of the best smart-ass comments to ward off the terminally stupid....Don't ever change!

                        Congrats on the 25k!
                        Art is always and everywhere the secret confession, and at the same time the immortal movement of its time.
                        | Karl Marx |

                        A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy.
                        | Guy Fawkes |

                        | flickr |


                        • #13
                          Congrats PD!
                          I feel like a city kid who has stumbled into a town


                          • #14
                            25k!!! Yeah!!! Okay!!!
                            "After all is said and done, more is said than done."


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by The Artist View Post
                              I thought Kool was going to tell us he's been banned or something
                              I'm sure there's been times......






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