Someone told me this week that I'll grow a butt faster if I ride standing up on my pedals. Screw that. My butts gonna have to meet me half way.

You eat coupons? You must be popular around the office.

Cool. According to that, I've been dead for a month.

We moved into a new house the summer before I started HS. Me and my mom were sitting on the edge of the deck in the back yard eating lunch. Suddenly a flash of black from under the deck and my moms burger was gone right out of her hands. Neighbor dog.

Naw, I don't think it's a dingle berry. Dingle berries sit snuggly beside ding-a-lings.

I don't use Apple product or Firefox. But I would definitely use products and services of a company called FappleFox

I have InDesign but have never even tried it. Is it a word processor, or at least suitable for writing letters?

My cat Jasper used to do the same. I'd shoo him off my lap, tell him to go play. Five minutes later he'd be right back on my lap and I'd have no idea how he got there.

Well Massachussetts, been nice knowin' ya.

Too late! I'm captivated! My heart is forever yours! I'll be right over to show you my paintings of Barbara Streisand. Just don't take any more of the pineal gland or You'll go blind... your body will turn to wax... they'll have to put you in a wheelbarrow... and when you scream for help, you'll sound like a raccoon.

I am totally the font porn-star.

Come here you dirty little script, I'm gonna stick my serif in your bowl.

Sales person: "Hey Ex, prepress just sent this job back up... They say the size is off. I talked to the customer and they asked if we could 'fix it' for them."

Me: "Let me look at it... This is waaay off! I don't see much hope for this one..."

Sales person: *blank stare*

Me: "Let me pull the file up... Crap! This job is for a 14' x 48' right? This file is set up for a 20' x 48' not incuding bleed!"

Sales person: "It has to be fixed. That's all they have."

Me: "What? That's BS... not to mention I have no support files to work from."

Sales person: *blank stare*

Me: "Send it back to them and tell them to learn math!"

Sales person: "I can't see why you just can't photoshop it!"

Me: "What?! Dude, just tell them to send prepress a new file set to the correct dimensions! For a 14' x 48' they need a file set up 7" x 24" @ 300 dpi. You have a spec sheet right?"

Sales person: "Okay, I'll tell them."

Me: "Whatever..." <sigh>

10 minutes later:

Sales person: "Okay Ex, they're uploading the support files to the FTP so you can fix it."

Me: *Smacks forehead*

Now my left eye twitches every time I see that sales guy or a work order with that ad agency on it...