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  • If other businesses were like Graphics

    #1
    If other businesses were like Graphics:

    Plumbing:
    I don’t know anything about plumbing, but I plunged by boss’s sink and it cleared, and now he wants me to install a new toilet. Can anyone tell me how this is done? I don’t have any money for training, and I don’t do well trying to read from books (visually oriented-but not necessarily mechanically minded). He bought me a set of Crescent wrenches and a couple pipe wrenches, and he is only giving me one day to do it.

    Electrical:
    I don’t really know anything about electrical work, but I got my boss’s lamp working, and now he wants me to wire the new suite we annexed. I know the light switches usually flip up for on and down for off, and that they are supposed to be ‘grounded’ (whatever that means). He bought me a full set of straight and ‘cross’ screwdrivers, and a pair of wire cutters. Can anyone tell me how not fry my shorts?

    Administration:
    I don’t know anything about accounting, but I was able to find an error in my boss’s checkbook statement where he didn’t add correctly, and now he wants me to be our ‘accounting’ department, and track all the invoices, payments, statements, deposits, etc.

    Should I get QuickBooks or Quicken? Will it be self-explanatory or will I need to look into some kind of training?

    Tech Help:
    I don’t know much about computBLIP……

    I ‘resurrected’ my boss’s computer (found the ‘reset’ button), and know he wants me to install and monitor our new twenty station network…..

    Personal Services:
    I’m not much on cutting hair, but I cut a mean paper pattern with a sharp pair of scissors…….

    Auto Repair:
    I’m not much of a mechanic, but I changed the air cleaner in my boss’s car and washed it and now he wants me to maintain his fleet of twenty delivery vans. We have a full set of Craftsmen tools, but they didn’t come with a manual for the vans we have. Can anyone help me out?

    Design:
    My boss liked the way I re-arranged the front office furniture, and now wants me to ‘decorate’ his new $250,000 home from start. How do you pick a carpet color to match a paint color if they use different stuff to color it with? Where is a good place to find wallpaper samples.

    --Ciao for Niao--

    Ethan

  • #2
    In all those instances they will get what they pay for.
    or get fined for wiring when your not a licensed electrician

    You will always have people trying to fix their own cars, do their own plumbing, do thier own taxes, and it goes on and on. The fact is that they are not mechanics, plumbers, or accountants.
    Just like with designers anyone can make something up in photoshop or Illustrator,or any other software but that doesnt make them a designer. Y uou can see this all over the web, in print, on forums, etc.

    ... Have no fear of perfection - You will never reach it ...

    Post Edited (TBdesign) : 1/27/2005 10:41:54 PM GMT

    Comment


    • #3
      this is great

      'I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!'
      'I'm the damn designer, bitches!'

      Check out my indie comic book!
      www.assassinsguild.net/

      Comment


      • #4
        best topic EVER!!! we should sticky this : )



        digitalcamwhore

        Thanks to vend3r for the sig

        Comment


        • #5
          Done! Pinned and bookmarked for future use. Excellent post! [img]/emoticons/cool.gif[/img]
          Runs off to post this in that logo in painter thread.

          Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket?

          Comment


          • #6
            This is excellent (and would be really really funny if it weren't so true. Sigh...

            They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

            Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol
            US artist (1928 - 1987)

            Comment


            • #7
              Anyone else ever see this page 'if architects had to work like web designers'?
              Its a pretty good analogy.

              http://www.htmlgonebad.com/architect.html

              Comment


              • #8
                Here's one of my own:

                Optometrist:
                I need to improve my eyesite. Before we begin, could you please provide me a detailed estimate on what the costs will be to accomplish this? I'm especially interested in seeing price comparisons on eyeglasses vs. contacts vs. laser surgery. Make sure to break down each process to the minute details so that I may choose to eliminate any tasks I feel are extraneous and thus reduce the price. Once you determine my prescription, I'd like to have a preliminary pair of glasses made that I can take home with me to discuss with my family. We should be able to get back to you within 2-12 weeks with a number of comments and suggestions to make the glasses better. Please be prepared to have the final glasses ready within 5 minutes if we should need it that quickly. Keep in mind the preliminary glasses should work as well as laser surgery and contact lenses. Of course, if we decide to add features like the ability to see infared and x-ray vision, these should be developed at no cost to us - as you should have anticipated that in the initial estimate. We will be making the glasses ourselves based on your recommendations, but you will be required to tell us what to do every step of the way and if we screw up, you will be held responsible. Oh yes, several other optometrists will be competing against you for this job, among them my daughter, who just bought an optometry lab at a rummage sale. Oh yes, after careful review, the glasses should improve our hearing as well - at no additional charge of course.

                Comment


                • #9
                  thats absolutely fabulous..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I also realize all so-called 'graphics' are the same: so you should be able to provide me with a multitude of services at the absolute 'rock bottom rates - BTW - there IS a lot of competiton out there:

                    Copy writing, marketing research, photography, web design, print, interactive design, environmental graphics, whatever I need... in as short amount of time as needed.

                    Also, I expect you to be my plumber, dentist, and brain surgeon.
                    THANNKS.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      LeftBrain Artist,

                      I know that one -- but the link you gave doesn't work.

                      here's another copy of it http://thecreativeforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118
                      Last edited by morea; 05-02-2005, 06:27 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by LeftBrain Artist
                        Here's one of my own:

                        Optometrist:

                        AHAHAHAHAHAH! THAT. IS. MY. LIFE.



                        AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If graphic design were like recording music.

                          Alright, musician, this is what I want. I need you to record a song that EVERYONE will love! You do this for a living, that's easy, right? I want a song that's really edgy and over the top, but subtle and calm. This song should be a little classy but also a little rugged. It should have an equal mix of fminine and masculine, and should be just classic enough to appeal to old people but playful and bouncy enough to appeal to kids. Make it speak this issue that matter to adults, but chose your words carefully so that when a kid listens to it they get a different messgae. Oh, and I want it to do the same thing backwards. I want it to be really really really fast and a little bit slow. It should have every instrument in the world. Acctually, every good instrument ever invented. None of those crappy ones like Piano. It should be loud and a little bit quiet, so itr appeals to everyone. Make it A touch hateful in a sea of romantic. Oh, that's right, I want screaming in it, but make sure there's no yelling very loud. Also whisparing, but nothin lower than a speaking voice. I'm paying you good money to make something that everyone loves. I have no idea what it is, that's what you're for, and if one person doesn't buy the album, I'm not paying you. Speaking of paying, don't sit around writing sheet music. You're a musician! Why are you writing with a pencil? So you can charge me by the hour for drawing dots and lines on paper that do me no good in the record store? You need it to get ideas? Um, no buddy, actually, I want you to sit down with me right now and sing it, and it better be good because I don't have much time....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Proctologist:

                            Okay doctor, I've got the glove on. Now bend over.

                            Oops. I mean, I thought I had that glove on. Dang.

                            Um.... hey Doc, can you give me a hand?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              that was absolutley hilarious....!!

                              Comment

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