Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Computer please die soon!!!

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Computer please die soon!!!

    Intel Core 2 - CPU 6400 @ 2.13 ghz (circa. Quarter 3 2006!). 2 cores, 2 threads, no hyperthreading

    3GB RAM! (had to fight for the extra 1gb, was on 2gb for a long time!)

    Running Windows XP!

    A very fast 15 minutes for a full boot and launch Microsoft Outlook. Add another 10 minutes to launch up InDesign.

    I cannot wait for this POS to die! Any suggestions on how to speed up the dying process??? It needs to look like an accident.

    "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

  • #2
    Tying a rope around it and hanging it from the ceiling? Suicide could be pretty convincing!

    Or better yet- a ball gag and bondage, find it in the cupboard, asphyxiated while partying hell yeeeeah!

    But seriously this guy seems to know how to do it: http://www.dansdata.com/sbs3.htm
    "Be realistic, plan for a miracle."

    Comment


    • #3
      Where do you keep your coffee cup?

      Is Ireland set to 220vac mains supply? If so, does your computer have a 220/120 switch on the power supply? Wonder what would happen if you switched voltages 'to save energy'?

      Or maybe now might be a good time to wear that acrylic sweater over a cotton shirt, open the case and spend some time studying the CPU leads as you pull off that warm sweater....
      Last edited by Bob; 12-16-2011, 08:31 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm right handed, so coffee cup is on the right hand side. The computer is under the desk on the left hand side.

        It would be very ropey looking if I started opening the computer. That's IT's job. They'd be over like a shot.

        The power supply - that's a good one. I could try short it out?

        "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

        Comment


        • #5
          Well, the supply itself is cheap and easy to replace -- but maybe not so much with a really old machine. That is, it might be more trouble trying to find one to match something that old. They're usually accessible enough without opening up the box. That is, they usually have cooling slots on their outer case which usually are around their fans that form the 'face' that is exposed on the back. Mind you, a little spray liquid graphite (unplugged first, of course!)-- the kind all Canadians keep in their glove compartment for frozen car locks... that's pretty conductive stuff. And no tech I know would even consider trying to go INSIDE a power supply box to repair it. Not worth it. So then the real question is... would a burned out supply be enough for them to say 'nah, it's not worth trying to fix at that age'?

          Comment


          • #6
            As long as you don't end up starting a fire and burning your whole office down.
            ___________
            Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.

            blog/portfolio

            Comment


            • #7
              Well I think the IT guys are pretty sick of having to clean up the computer to get it working. I don't know about this stuff you're talking about? Will it corrode anything? I don't want any traces of it left. I don't want some Columbo to come along and figure it out.

              I was thinking maybe somehow getting a paper clip, some sort of iron filament lol.

              My other idea was to let a porcupine loose in the office, starting from behind my computer, hopefully knocking it over. If it didn't I'd just give it a good push to the ground anyway while everyone is chasing the porcupine. That plan can't fail!


              Thanks for that link too Scarlet - read it there and some ropey stuff in there that can get me caught lol.

              "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Virgo Nightingale View Post
                As long as you don't end up starting a fire and burning your whole office down.
                That would be an acceptable by-product

                "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

                Comment


                • #9
                  Force overclock the CPU and RAM and tape a piece of paper over the ventilation (remove it when someone's around).
                  "I used to wonder what friendship could be, Until you all shared its magic with me." - Jesus Christ

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Obsidian is winning so far. I like that idea.

                    "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      overheating sounds like the least traceable way to destroy it, maybe a space heater next to it to help speed up the process?

                      "There's something about turning the pages of a book or magazine and the felling of rubbing your hands across the words."

                      This is my pen tool. There are many like it, but this one is MINE. My pen tool is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My pen tool without me is useless. Without my pen tool, I am useless.

                      there is no grey area when it comes to 1 color logos.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Mmmaybe. There's a lot of thermal protection built-into CPU units though. It might just shut down before it goes crackle pop.

                        I've had this happen once -- a crappy USB flash drive shorted out the USB power port which popped something on the Mobo. It's supposed to be fused to prevent that, but apparently, it's not completely foolproof.

                        A piece of aluminum foil, a slot....

                        What happened in my case was that the tech said it popped the USB chipset. If any chips that are NOT SOCKETED get blasted -- the standard procedure for out-of-warranty hardware around here is to replace the whole machine.

                        We have a three year cycle on our machines. Which means new machines in the new year! Huzzah!

                        But actually, this might sound weird, this is the first time in my whole career where I can honestly say I don't think that this really is necessary. Everything's working great and I have plenty of speed, space and storage. A bigger monitor would be nice -- but it's weird that I'm actually starting to think that I'd rather stick with what I got right now.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          In fairness, it should have self-destructed by now, it's hanging in there!

                          It's nearly 6 years old lol.

                          Not allowed space heaters... but what they don't know won't harm them


                          So cover the vents, then get the computer to batch process a load of large images. Hopefully that will be enough task to send it to the computer grave yard.

                          I feel like the grim reaper. Or this could be a story line for Final Destination 6!

                          "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Broacher View Post
                            Mmmaybe. There's a lot of thermal protection built-into CPU units though. It might just shut down before it goes crackle pop.
                            DAMN IT. Just checked and indeed it does! Lousy.

                            "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              +1 to pancaking with the fans.

                              I was going to post something like this before they upgraded me to an iMac. I was seriously thinking of ways to sabotage my computer lol.
                              Less marketing douchebaggery, MORE TANKS!

                              Comment

                              Search

                              Collapse

                              Sponsor

                              Collapse

                              Incredible Stock

                              Latest Topics

                              Collapse

                              GDF A division of Mediabistro Holdings Adweek | Mediabistro | Clio | Film Expo Group Contact Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy Copyright 2016 Mediabistro Holdings
                              Working...
                              X